December 2004

listening to we're all to blame by sum41. it's...cool. I haven't heard such rock for a long time. it's fast enough. and the way it slows down at the chorus and arranged reminds me of x japan. then the fast parts remind me of diru. cool. very cool.

eewei was just moaning about how many million comments she got just by putting those 2 long lines of english from kr cube on her blog. but hey those two lines mean a lot to the song. it unravels all the song is about. otherwise you don't really realise that the little girl's dead. and it's only when you know that the little girl IS dead then you feel the creeps. heh. yeah the creeps. and actually if you are quite a fan of kyo you would be able to guess that the girl is dead anyway. when did he write much about live people? he does have a few songs with living people in it but really few. and angsty sounding kr cube is definitely about the dead. heh.

anyway I didn't decide to blog just to tell you what I'm doing now. I decided, like liza said, to immortalise the people who went last night into my blog!! yeah went for the eldds bbq last night. the rain made some people not come, though. but in any case, the people who went last night was...

waited at the 403 bus stop (yeah I described it last night as the jia lat place where the bus turns) for avril. she was SO darn late. and she couldn't telepathy me. but at least she turned up. ahaha. so much for one more day with her. seriously I got a shock the night before. I finished my 26th entry at 0051, right?

[01:38:25] avril: eh....tmr u go cycling wif me ar....
[01:38:32] avril: if not i sure stone there one lor
[01:38:33] avril: hahaha

gosh I nearly fainted. half an hour after I uploaded my entry she came online. and then ten minutes later she says this. my one more day. AHHHHH!!!

then after she came we realised we were like the first there. then the rain came and she was telling me how her friend said something about 3 metre tidal waves. go and die lah. 3 metre tidal waves. no more singapore already after that. we took shelter at this sizeable pavillion and stood there laughing at this bunch of cedarians (gosh so sad case) trying to take cover under a huge white plastic sheet at their pit. goodness so funny. then we were trying to avoid the smokers on our left and the violent guys on our right. denise saved us by getting us to the other shelter where everyone else was and we had that shelter all to ourselves. so no more avoiding.

anyway, it was so fun! gosh you know I've heard of people trying to start the fire with matchsticks, lighters, (lyn the best. flamethrower??!) solid fuel, kerosene, all these things. but for the first time last night, denise said she had the BEST idea, and whipped out a pack of...

yeah you know those sticks which light up and send sparks of fire flying EVERYWHERE with tonnes of smoke all over the place. yeah she used those to light the fire. we almost died laughing. it was so hilarious! goodness me. then after we were quite done with lighting the fire and laughing some more at the sparklers, denise avril and I decided to go cycling. in fact we were just in time. we were at the bicycle rental at 1830 and they closed at 1930. not bad eh? the only problem was that denise only knows how to cycle straight. and she hasn't cycled in years. so avril and I were like trying not to cycle so fast and seriously hope that she would make it. she was so panicky that she didn't know left from right and where she was going and she was so scared she'll crash if her handphone rang and the worst part was that she was wearing a short skirt and flip flops. and those are NOT exactly suitable cycling gear. but we made it anyway. without injury. heh. denise was tired when we got back to the rental shop. but vril and I were like huh still got 15 more minutes...so we continued. we wheeled fast to the other end which was much shorter and back. just in time. heh.

then we went to check out the food, which wasn't done. then zal had to go, and then guess what? it started raining! ahh! we started screaming at jae because it was HER wonderful idea of coming out for a bbq when we could have gone somewhere like seoul garden or something like that. so we insisted that the next time we gather jae was going to treat us all to seoul garden. ahaha. and then jae was like

we screamed some more. it didn't help that we looked like helpless idiots who refused to abandon pit and still huddling together at the pit with about 4 umbrellas attempting to shield us from the onslaught of rain and screaming away at jae and laughing at each other and yelling VERY COLD. anyway we finally decided to abandon the pit after all and ran to that same shelter avril and I were at earlier. but the problem was that another bigger bunch was there earlier and they had already set up everything and was prepared to have a lovely birthday celebration. we felt quite bad taking their space so we decided to adjourn to the shelter that all of us were at earlier. it wasn't too far and it was so darn near the bus stop anyway. and the toilet. so it was good. so we all moved there. the thing was, jae and I decided to collect the glowing ambers from our pit and another pit so that we could barbeque over the aluminium tray. since we had one, we might as well use it...and so I was carrying the aluminium tray. but it was too hot on the way there, and denise saved the day by 1) getting the pail of water and I could put my half cooked hand in there, and 2) fishing out a pair of gloves so that I could hold the tray better! ahaha! gosh like doraemon man. denise went ice skating earlier, so she had gloves with her. but it was funny all the same.

later we set up another "tray" with 3-4 sheets of aluminium foil and continued to barbeque and eat. the only problem was, there were a lot of caterpillars dropping (yes DROPPING) from the ceiling of the pavilion! ARRRGHH!! those things seriously sent us totally screaming. totally. and we didn't know where to sit or stand because we were so scared of the damn caterpillars and there was like absolutely no light other than the barbeque trays and avril's torchlight. but we survived. rachele came and helped to cook real decent tasting chicken. and avril was like double cooking the prawns with the torchlight. lyn was like avril I swear if that torchlight were hot enough you would be cooking the prawns with it.

and we continued to be scared of the worms. jill and I were sharing a drink and I was like erm jill ah, no worms hor...because the drink was coke and pepsi and don't know what else lyn put in there and anyway it was all black. jill was like eh heh heh...I don't think so...and there wasn't anyway. but in any case after I put that drink down I refused to drink anymore. one caterpillar had dropped on my neck just some minutes ago and I was not going to lose my cool over it. sheesh!

but it was so fun anyway. sparklers, make shift barbeque, later rachele bought satay. the chicken was cooking too slowly. and we were sick of avril's onslaught of prawnies. and hotdogs. and because the hotdogs we left on the floor in the plastic wrap, we didn't trust it. the worms might have crawled in AND out...oh mAN that sounded really horrid.

lyn was like gosh this is so fear factor. denise made it into a reality show. and I named it barbeque under the pavilion! ahaha so LAME! but so funny. haven't been this crap for a long time. and it was SO funny. couldn't stop laughing throughout. and then later jill left and we decided to not eat so much anymore. soon after we packed up and left. lyn's parents came and denise went with her, then liza's parents came too...then it was left with rachele adam jae avril and me. we took the 403 back to pasir ris interchange and went home from there.

jae and I were like charcoal very heavy...because jae was having another barbeque soon, so we dumped all the extra stuff that we bought on her. so all the charcoal, aluminium foil and don't know what else was all dumped on her. and I was going home with her, so we were like let's get a taxi. and we did.

gosh actually I told mother I'd be home at 9 plus 10 plus around there...then in the end I reached home at slightly past 11. heh. but who cares? it was so fun. at least someone went home with me. if not for jae I would have gone round in another 359 trip with avril. then I think I might have gotten home later. or actually it's about the same, because I followed jae home, since the charcoal is way too heavy for her to carry alone.

yeah so that's like the end of the day for me yesterday. gosh. what a long entry. still feeling very paranoid about the worms....

you know I feel like writing another song. and it will be called one more day. and then next year I'll write another one, called missing you. you know I've got it all planned out. I'll just write over the next year or so a whole list of songs all dedicated to the people I love most and see how. umm. sounds VERY good.

You are the loner. Quiet and Secretive. You are the
mysterious girl that most dont know about and
many are scared to. Though you seem to be an
emotionless shell, it is to the contrary, you
are probably very artistic and creative. To bad
most don't understand you.

Which Female Anime Stereotype are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

heh I'm coming out with weirdo answers tonight...oh and yesterday adam asked me what's with 15th October. and love avril day.

and like HOW THE HECK AM I GOING TO ANSWER HIM with the bunch of j2s IN FRONT OF ME and avril RIGHT NEXT TO ME?!

face it. I don't have the guts. I can't go screaming like denise and lyn that she's my obsession right? oh well NOT right but I can't do it. it's one of those things I can't push it out of my mouth. I can write it out, type it out. but don't make me say it. I can't do it. I don't know why. but I simply can't.

just replied maril. yeah. visited yeow sheng's blog. picked this song up. couldn't help feeling the feeling I love so much.

It was three AM when you woke me up
And we jumped in the car and drove as far as we could go
Just to get away
We talked about our lives
Until the sun came up
And now I'm thinking about
How I wish I could go back
Just for one more day
One more day with you

Everytime I see your face
Everytime you look my way
It's like it all falls into place
And everything feels right
Ever since you walked away
You left my life in disarray
All I want is one more day
Coz all I need is one more day with you

When the car broke down
We just kept walkin along
Til we hit this town
There was nothing there at all
But that was all okay
We spent all our money on stupid things
But if I looked back now, I'd probably give it all away
Just for one more day
One more day with you

Now I'm sittin here, like we used to do
I think about my life and now there's nothing I won't do
Just for one more day
One more day with you

Everytime I see your face
Everytime you look my way
It's like it all falls into place
Everything feels right (Everything feels right)
Everytime I hear your name
Everytime I feel the same
It's like it all falls into place
Everything, everything feels right

actually I'm pretty greedy. I don't think one more day is really enough. but then again, it's better than nothing. yeah you got it. I miss avril. again. the feeling is BACK. and that's bad. I thought it really went away. or at least got rather suppresed. and the more I thought about next year without mae and avril, the worse it got. the symptoms are all back.

after tuition I walked to her stop. again. I took an 81 there, hoping that perhaps she might get on because she was going out that day. 22nd december I wrote that the will for her to come online is gone right? actually that very night she came online. you should have timed reaction time. it was less than a second. so I'm like cheating myself.

oh no. I was really supposed to stop this. but somehow it's something that can't stop just like that. but this song really triggers a lot of memories. let's walk down that lane. and guess what's the craziest part? I've known her for only

she never called me at 3 am, but I remember the 2 nights I talked to her. one till 3 am, another till 3:30am. she nearly killed me. yeah we talked about our lives till we were so sleepy and her mum woke up (as usual) to check on her and she quickly kinda slammed the phone down because she was supposed to study. and you know although I wasn't supposed to disturb her, I still did. and somehow I wish it was that time again, because now that her exams are over I can barely find her. she's like not online, not home. nowhere. I've like lost her.

khairiah used to want to just see terrorist. I laughed at her, remember? but then I thought to myself, guess what? I'm no better. she seriously makes my day. it's like everything falls into place, that everything is going to be fine. and all it takes is a glimpse. I don't ask for much. she doesn't have to do some dramatic thing or perform a miracle for me. she doesn't even have to really spot me. just looking at her across the canteen table, having her look across back at me and give me that "wad..." face and I'll give the "nothing, nothing" face and she'll roll her eyes and that's all I need. no she didn't walk away. all she did was to graduate. and my life...disarray? not yet I suppose. let's wait for next year. I'm quite determined to make sure it doesn't fall apart just because of her, but then again it's quite hard to say.

the car broke down and we just kept walking along. no of course that never happened. but I remember the day we went together to the LOTR exhibition. she actually insisted on meeting me at pasir ris so that we could get a seat, but I thought tampines was going to be just fine. but obviously she was right, and we stood all the way from tampines to jurong east. feet nearly died. and yeah money spent on silly souvenirs from the science centre, and she isn't a big fan of LOTR and she decided to go all the same.

and I remember the time she wanted to watch spidey 2. actually she was scared that her mum would get angry and that actually she should spend more time studying anyway. but I was like hey you don't go and watch NOW you won't get to watch it, because after a's it's way too late. and so she decided to catch it. but that wasn't really money spent on stupid things. ahaha. but some thing she shouldn't have spent on. it's kinda like my fault. I instigated her. heh.

sitting here, like we used to do...when I go back to school, I'll look back at the 3 benches. the e4, c4 and lt3 bench. look back at them, sit on them if I really can spare the time and think. and if life gets hard next year I'll really plonk myself there. and hope that someone I love can sit there with me too. and understand why I want to sit there. especially the e4 one. you know I was sick on open house day. but I talked to her so much and laughed so much and sang along to my happy ending and some other songs that I didn't feel so bad after all.

everytime I hear you name, everytime I feel the same. it's pretty true. it's just so nice to think about her, about the silly memories, the funny things she said, I said, we did, doing stupid things like going for LOTR exhibition on vesak day, public holiday! gosh. spending an entire day with me on 15th october 2004, for playing hexic with me (and with me losing all the way), for the 24 lp adverts she endured, for coming all the way down to hougang and landing in my house and watching shrek 2, for walking me to the traffic light because she knew I was going for tuition in the further block, for waiting with me in the bank for 2 hours because she knew I wanted company even though the transaction had NOTHING to do with her, for carrying that sloman book in her bag for the previous 2 hours, for coming out and walking with me all the way to loyang point just to eat with me because I insisted, and now I think back, and honestly

I just want one more day, just ONE MORE DAY with her. thanks, God, for avril. really. I don't know how different my year 1 life would be without her. without her in eldds, without her on the phone with me, without her forever pacifying and entertaining me. and now I don't know how it's going to be like next year. you know Lord You're always giving me good friends and somehow they always fade. and Lord I pray today that this one wouldn't fade. that it will remain. Lord I pray that I can keep this best friend of mine, that I continue to wish her the best Lord, to stop the selfish thoughts, and Lord I pray for her Lord one day she can come to know You and Lord I pray that she can stay happy even during this time as she awaits her results Lord and I pray that You will guard over her.

yo PEOPLE it's CHRISTMAS!!! yeah it's that day again. the day we use to celebrate that Christ is born! woohoo!

okay still coughing, probably thanks to all those little pillows and too much stuffing and ALL THAT SEWING and staying up too late over the past couple of nights plus the sweet drinks, the pringles and 2 days of takopachi. I sound like I'm all out to kill myself. and I'm not done yet. I'm still going for the SF christmas party gathering at grace's house and eating whatever funny things the mothers are cooking and miraculously JUDITH is coming. oh my. I was so shocked last night. but oh well.

actually I don't really have much to say. and I don't have much time either. it's just that I was reading a lot of the usual blogs just now and decided that I shall blog today. had the idea to blog this morning actually, but took another nap just now. but didn't sleep much. sister wanted to turn the computer off already but I asked her to leave it. so in the end I'm here.

I still haven't wrapped the gift exchange present yet. darn. later. it wouldn't take long. they're merely rectangles. not some super difficult package. oh for goodness sakes it's just chocolate. not some strange stuff toy. and certainly not like that nodding felle I love so much. gosh that toy came in this absolutely difficult-to-wrap box that I nearly died.

I feel like leaving this set of lyrics here. I don't know why. oh yeah and maril if you see this can you tell me if it's true that we're having an eldds bbq on monday 27th december? because if it is then good. I want to pass presents to you and mae and vril.

it's been a few days. again. still suffering from flu. well it's much better now. it's just that now the swelling at the back of my throat has gone down, but there's still quite some phlegm and lots of coughing.

sarah grace and aileen coming over tomorrow! yeah they're staying over to finish up the little pillows. ahaha. I'm thinking of getting the leftovers (which I strongly believe we will have) and giving it to my dear team 3 at yfc. heh. you know I'm typing so darn fast today I don't really know what happened. it's as if I haven't typed for too long already. maybe that's sorta true.

anyway I'm blogging today on maril's request. haha. yeah. received her christmas card yesterday. received eewei's on the same day too. mother was so shocked that people still send cards and write little notes in them. I wasn't. not in the least really. but the thing was, maril wrote so hard on her little letters that I can see what she wrote to liane...

daddy came home today. yeah he's back from melbourne with MORE fruits. gosh. the last time it was strawberries, and this time it's gooseberries and blueberries. gosh the gooseberries were so freaking sour. I almost cried. daddy was like oh my what happened?? mother answered for me. goodness if mother thinks it's sour, what about me?! don't know how daddy could take it. it was really terrible. really jia lat.

all these berries remind me of bleeding berry. yeah that age old website of mine. ahaha. which has closed down, by the way. my bara no kyuuden has already replaced it. and the thing is, I'm hosting my 1984 blog on it. not bad, eh?

actually I meant to blog something about 1984 today. but it's so late. should I? oh actually I'm not even supposed to be online now. I'm supposed to do my math which is seriously in tatters (vicky is in as bad a state as I am in) and not supposed to be here blogging away. but I can't take it anymore. actually I was supposed to start doing my math earlier. then I procastinated until yesterday, especially upon receiving eewei's card, with her refreshing memories of her calling me and asking if I were doing math. well usually I was. so I thought that I'd better start doing. then I realised that I don't really remember how to do some stuff. in fact, a lot of stuff. I'll see if I wake up earlier tomorrow then I can attempt (take note, attempt) some questions. I was supposed to complete 37 questions by tomorrow. it's only like 15 questions plus at the moment. sigh. and there are 52 in total! oh no! what am I going to do? double sigh.

I'm really typing a lot and very quickly. it's scaring me. heh. it's like I've got this sudden rush of stuff to talk about and too many thoughts at one shot that my fingers are running and flying all about the keyboard hurrying to get everything in my mind out on to this blog. so much for losing my thing for blogging? oh well perhaps it's this weird stage that I always go through when it comes to blogging. you know there'll be this phase whereby my blog just seems like daily accounts of whatever happened and etching my memories online. then after some time somehow or another my blog gets really black and moody and the entire thing becomes so cryptic and philosophical and so schizy that after a while you don't know who and what I'm talking about anymore and it's so hard to follow my entries. and the worst part is, the blacker my mood, the blacker my days, and the LONGER my entries. gosh. so you've got a difficult and LONG entry. and that doesn't bode too well, does it? and then after the cloud has cleared, I start a little of daily account and then the entries go down again. then that's when I'm starting to lose my thing for blogging. gosh I've just made it into this vicious circle. ahaha.

my blogging philosophy. what rubbish. but anyway I always call this rubbish. I'm always calling my blog rubbish. but it's still quite precious to me.

let's have a little daily accounting now. I cleared a lot of my table. well it's pretty remarkable to me. I got rid of all those first 3 months sweets (yes first 3 months) and a lot a lot of stuff. all the sweets went byebye into the bin. and some sweets from last year went to the bin too. and because those sweets leaked, some of my letters from kiayun and shiqi went down too. so sad. but never mind. there comes a time to let go. I still have some of their other letters too...lurking somewhere. ahaha. seriously lurking. then mother threw my upper sec bag away. which was a good idea. mother was screaming. she said that when she cleared it out a cockroach came out too. ahaha. I...am not really surprised. you must be thinking UGH THIS TERRIBLE GIRL but somehow I don't enjoy clearing things out.

mother was saying about how I should clear all my stuff regularly then I wouldn't have so much to clear at one shot all the time. and then I should leave my table as clear as possible, and then if there's still space after leaving enough for usage, I can put some stuff there for beautification and aesthetic reasons. I was like sheesh what aesthetic? sentimental more likely. mother gave me that look and said ah girl ah, you've reached that age where you've begun hoarding memories. then I was like nice what...what's wrong with keeping sentimental stuff?? mother was like sigh...well I guess she's gone through that stage too. then someday we will grow up and come to realise that all these things ought to be thrown away. you know all these facts and experiences and accounts told to me stick around in my head but I refuse to practise what I've learnt. terrible. shouldn't be that way right? but....

I threw all the sweets away, right? just the sweets, yeah? so it's not hard to guess what I've left behind. yeah you're right. if you've been reading my blog rather consistently since september or so, you'll know what particular foodstuff that's been around my table that I haven't touched and that I wouldn't throw away for my life is worth.

yeah it's that pack of shrek oreos that avril gave me for my birthday this year. I can't seem to eat it nor throw it away. sometimes I think to myself oh just eat it. then I think oh dear then it will disappear. then I fight again. but it will turn bad, I tell myself. then I think again, yeah perhaps I should eat. then I think again. but what if it really is bad? then I'll have no choice but to throw it then. and .....oh I have amazing philosophies and ideas that are so rigid in my head and silly worries you wouldn't believe it for your life is worth.

you know I've stopped seriously moaning about missing her, I've stopped calling her, and no more real like deep deep urge to call her anymore, but somehow she's still deep inside my heart and yes I still miss her. but somehow the feeling of premonition, the feeling of willing her to come online and talk to me, the urge to pick the phone up and call her, that preoccupation of her in my mind has gone away. but I watched shrek, I refused to throw the oreos away, I hear the words jack jack, sister asked about her blouse that she lent her, and something in me continues to twinge.

sigh. I honestly think that I will miss her a lot next year. I will miss mae a lot a lot next year too. I think I've learnt to let avril go. and it doesn't seem to hurt so much anymore. but I think it will take me till next year, when the absence of mae impacts me, to let her go too. I've sort of gotten used to no avril around anymore in school that I've let her go slowly. and I think it will take quite a bit to let mae go too. all I have left it kinda like maril only. yeah I know I have meida. but trust me it's different. somehow. I don't know why.

maybe because I'm so selfish. I want undivided attention. I insist on it. I like to go out in groups of twos and threes. four is fine, but any bigger is too big. then I don't get the attention I seek. I'm such a little kid. sometimes I feel that I never really grew up. that I still insist that I have this particular person by my side who will always stick by me as I stick by her. when I need to 'share' this person with other people I don't like it. I tell myself that hey that person's life doesn't revolve around you, but you know I wish it did. especially when I make my life sort of revolve around that person.

so it's true. I want attention. from people I want attention from. I'm no attention seeker, as the world defines it. I don't just want weird attention or negative attention from anybody in the world. I want someone there who always comes to look for me, to stick by me, to initiate talking to me, to group with me. is it hard? it seems to get harder and harder as I grow up. it's like more and more difficult to find now.

oh I don't know how to classify myself. I want attention. somehow I end up insecure. but there are times when I'm too confident. I'm outspoken at times and yet I have become such a hypocrite. what in the world am I? no I am not a schiz. that's definite. I tell people I don't care and I don't know but often enough that's not true. I'm a bloody selfish stingy pig and I hate to let people know that. I insist that everyone loves me and I honestly can't find someone who doesn't.

I should stop. in fact I am. this entry has gone too far. stop ripping my pages. they're stuck. STOP RIPPING.

okiezzz...it's been really really long. just came back from sf retreat yesterday you see...and thus one week worth of bloggin disappeared. actually I'm still suffering from sore throat now and I'm once again losing my thing for blogging, so in order to make this dear entry look kinda long and to make up for the lost days, I decided to drop by toki's blog and grabbed another mad mad list questions. in fact it's called survey from hell. oh well. whatever. it's...just long. very long actually...but who cares.

[ .001. ] first name: You know what it is
[ .002. ] middle name: -
[ .003. ] last name: -
[ .004. ] nickname(s): yun, xiao mei (ahaha) and a lot more...
[ .005. ] gender: female
[ .006. ] birthday: May 11th
[ .007. ] height: 170cm
[ .008. ] hair color: black
[ .009. ] eye color: dark dark brown
[ .010. ] do you wear glasses or contacts: glasses...
[ .011. ] do you have braces: no
[ .012. ] is your hair long or short: it's that odd length now...
[ .013. ] where were you born: johore, malaysia
[ .014. ] current location: singapore
[ .015. ] zodiac sign: taurus
[ .016. ] how many languages do you know: 2 properly
[ .017. ] what language do you want to learn: Japanese, german
[ .018. ] bad habits: suaning people
[ .019. ] piercing you have: none
[ .020. ] piercing you want: top of the ear!!
[ .021. ] tattoos you have: don't want one....
[ .023. ] today: is Saturday
[ .024. ] today's date: December 18, 2004 (sister's birthday!!)
[ .025. ] the time: 2151h
[ .026. ] ready for a bunch more questions: Yup

[ .027. ] mother's name: -
[ .028. ] father's name: -
[ .029. ] brother's name: dont have any
[ .030. ] sister's name: -
[ .031. ] favorite aunt: hmm.m..
[ .032. ] favorite uncle: hm.....
[ .033. ] favorite grandparent: my mum's mum i think
[ .036. ] worst relative: HMMM.....
[ .037. ] best relative: my mum's side
[ .038. ] do you get along with your parents: yeah
[ .039. ] does anyone in your family understand you?: Not really

[ .040. ] do you have any pets: used to have
[ .041. ] what are their names: -
[ .042. ] what kind of animals: -

[ .043. ] are you still in school: yeah
[ .044. ] did you drop out: Nope
[ .045. ] current gpa: ?
[ .046. ] favorite grade: erm primary 1??
[ .047. ] least favorite grade: I don't quite know. J1??
[ .048. ] favorite teacher: is there one? perhaps...
[ .049. ] least favorite teacher: eh...a lot of them?
[ .051. ] least favorite subject: Math, science
[ .052. ] do/did you buy lunch or bring it: buy
[ .053. ] play any sports on the school's team: No way.
[ .054. ] do/did you do any extracurricular activities: eldds!!
[ .055. ] are/was you popular: I'm virtually unknown yah
[ .056. ] favorite dance: None
[ .057. ] favorite memory: Uh....
[ .058. ] favorite memory you want to have: I don't know...
[ .059. ] least favorite memory: Hm...
[ .060. ] most humiliating moment: I've got pretty thick skin...

[ .061. ] number(s): 3
[ .062. ] letter(s): -
[ .063. ] shoes: BOOTS!! SOMEBODY!!
[ .064. ] saying(s): jia lat...end of story, you know, (and lately) bu hao xiao!!!
[ .065. ] TV show: I don't watch much tv. smurfs?
[ .066. ] sport: F1!!!
[ .067. ] vegetable: don't try
[ .068. ] fruit: a lot....durians anyone???
[ .069. ] movie: eh quite a number. shrek I tomorrow!!
[ .070. ] magazine: don't really fancy magazines..
[ .071. ] actor: no particular favourite
[ .072. ] actress: see above
[ .073. ] candy: fruitips!!
[ .074. ] gum: they're illegal
[ .075. ] scent: most stink...
[ .076. ] candy bar: -
[ .077. ] ice cream flavor: anything but mint.
[ .078. ] color: purple
[ .079. ] season: eh...there aren't any...
[ .080. ] holiday: I just love holidays. end of story.
[ .081. ] band: dir en grey!!!
[ .082. ] singer: kyo!!!!
[ .083. ] group: um....diru again?
[ .084. ] rapper: sheesh NO...
[ .085. ] type of music: Rock mostly
[ .086. ] thing in your room: bed. heh.
[ .087. ] place to be: bed. duh.
[ .089. ] TV channel: none really.
[ .090. ] junk food: pringles!!
[ .091. ] overall food: Japanese, western
[ .092. ] store: do I have one?
[ .093. ] hangout: orchard I suppose
[ .094. ] fast food: macs..ahaha..didn't see that coming , did you
[ .095. ] restaurant: fish and co.!
[ .096. ] shape: circle! or actually anything that's round.
[ .097. ] time of day: night time
[ .098. ] country: Japan
[ .099. ] state: kyoto
[ .100. ] boys name: shannon, malcolm, ethan
[ .101. ] girls: jacqueline, violet, ashley
[ .102. ] mall: heeren?
[ .103. ] video game: don't play
[ .104. ] shampoo: pantene/herbal
[ .105. ] board game: monopoly...
[ .106. ] computer game: quite a few...
[ .107. ] car: PORSHE!!!
[ .108. ] music video: pop is dead. it's so amusing...
[ .109. ] swear word: I try not to. damn/shit
[ .110. ] word: jialat
[ .111. ] month: it doesn't really matter to me
[ .112. ] cartoon character: pinky! so loser!
[ .113. ] scary movie: don't watch horror stuffs generally
[ .114. ] team: Don’t have one.
[ .115. ] possession: my...purple bear? ahaha...

[ .116. ] eminem: sheesh
[ .117. ] dog: barang...
[ .118. ] hot: hmm....
[ .119. ] britney spears: more sheesh
[ .120. ] nsync: a lot of sheesh
[ .121. ] real world: I'm in it..
[ .122. ] orange: fruit
[ .123. ] choice: oh man
[ .124. ] fuck: I don't like hearing it...
[ .125. ] bisexual: I'm okay with that
[ .126. ] black: cool
[ .127. ] icq: old school
[ .128. ] insane clown posse: losers
[ .129. ] linkin park: cool...numb anyone??
[ .130. ] jack: jac. and rachel.
[ .131. ] rainbow: promise to abraham
[ .133. ] cucumber: eating time
[ .134. ] shark: NEMO!!!
[ .135. ] lifehouse: lighthouse lah...wah lao...
[ .136. ] bat: man
[ .137. ] leather: pants
[ .138. ] whip: cream
[ .139. ] America: huh...states loh...
[ .140. ] water: sheesh
[ .141. ] volcano: cool..sulphur...

[ .142. ] rock or rap: Rock
[ .143. ] rock or pop: Rock
[ .144. ] rock or r&b: Rock
[ .145. ] rock or metal: Rock
[ .146. ] rap or pop: Pop
[ .147. ] rap or r&b: R&B
[ .148. ] rap or metal: Metal
[ .149. ] pop or r&b: Pop
[ .150. ] pop or metal: Metal
[ .151. ] r&b or metal: Metal
[ .152. ] linkin park or limp bizkit: Linkin Park
[ .153. ] tool or korn: Korn
[ .154. ] selena or Jennifer Lopez: Neither
[ .155. ] hot or cold: Cold
[ .156. ] winter or summer: Winter
[ .157. ] spring or fall: fall
[ .158. ] shakira or britney: Shakira
[ .159. ] icp or eminem: Neither
[ .160. ] Marilyn Manson or rob zombie: Neither
[ .161. ] kittie or garbage: Garbage
[ .162. ] mtv or vh1: mtv
[ .163. ] buffy or angel: Neither
[ .164. ] Dawson's creek or Gilmore girls: neither
[ .165. ] football or basketball: neither
[ .166. ] summer Olympics or winter Olympics: summer
[ .167. ] skiing or snowboarding: never tried
[ .168. ] rollarblading or skateboarding: never tried
[ .169. ] black or white: Black
[ .170. ] orange or red: Red
[ .171. ] yellow or green: neither
[ .172. ] purple or pink: Purple
[ .173. ] slipknot or mudvayne: slipknot
[ .174. ] hot topic or pac sun: what?
[ .175. ] inside or outside: Inside
[ .176. ] weed or alcohol: neither
[ .177. ] cell phone or pager: Cellphone
[ .178. ] pen or pencil: Pencil
[ .179. ] powerpuff girls or Charlie's angels: Powerpuff Girls
[ .180. ] Scooby doo or dino: scooby!!! where are you...
[ .181. ] dragon ball z or pokemon: Pokemon
[ .182. ] star wars or star trek: star wars
r [ .183. ] tattoos or piercings: Piercings
[ .184. ] prep or punk: punk
[ .185. ] slut or whore: neither prospect is good right...

[ .186. ] do you have a boyfriend or girlfriend: nope
[ .187. ] do you have a crush: not any more
[ .188. ] do you love anyone right now: no
[ .189. ] have you ever been in love: no
[ .190. ] how many people have you kissed: on the cheek a lot...
[ .191. ] who was your first kiss: -
[ .192. ] how many hearts of have you broken: -
[ .193. ] how many people broke your heart: don't ask
[ .194. ] best quote to sum up love: 1 Corinthians 13: 4-13
[ .195. ] so what is your bf/gf/crush like: uhhh...
[ .196. ] do you have a picture of him/her: -
[ .197. ] please post it if you do: -
[ .198. ] do you have a picture of yourself: -
[ .199. ] please post it if you do:-
[ .200. ] do you go by looks or personality: somehow looks come first right...after that the personality...
[ .201. ] ever kiss a friend: Yup
[ .202. ] are you still friends: yeah
[ .203. ] do you smoke: no
[ .204. ] do you smoke weed: no
[ .205. ] ever trip on acid: no
[ .206. ] how about a little x: no
[ .207. ] crack, heroin, anything else: NO
[ .208. ] beer good or beer bad: Beer bad. very very bad.
[ .209. ] are you the sissy who drinks wine coolers: no
[ .211. ] prefer beer or liquor: neither. I hate alcohol
[ .212. ] what kind of cigarettes do you smoke: I don't smoke
[ .213. ] are you a virgin: yeah
[ .214. ] if no, when was the last time you got some: -

[ .215. ] bungee jump: Nah
[ .216. ] sky dive: no
[ .217. ] swim with dolphins: sure
[ .218. ] scuba dive: why not
[ .219. ] go rock climbing: no
[ .220. ] eat shit for $1,000,000: no
[ .221. ] turn your back on your friends for personal gain: no.
[ .222. ] steal a friend's boyfriend/girlfriend: Never
[ .223. ] cross-dress: not an applicable question, right?
[ .224. ] lie to the police: no
[ .225. ] run from the police: no
[ .226. ] lie to your parents: did before.
[ .227. ] walk up to a stranger and kiss them: are you nuts
[ .228. ] be an exotic dancer: Nah
[ .229. ] walk out of a restaurant without paying: Wanted to
[ .230. ] streak: no

[ .231. ] closest friends: ah you know who you are
[ .232. ] known longest: carr I suppose
[ .233. ] wish you talked to more: avril...gosh I missed her...
[ .234. ] wish you saw more: avril once more...
[ .235. ] how many friends do you think you have: haha plenty...just how many are GOOD and BEST friends...
[ .236. ] who drives you insane after a while: None of them
[ .237. ] who can you stay around forever and never get sick of: avril..
[ .238. ] ever lose a good friend because you took it to the "next level": No
[ .239. ] craziest: carr, vicky, dibz
[ .240. ] loudest: vicky or dibz. pick one
[ .241. ] shyest: eewei loh..
[ .242. ] best hair: carr! maril too. mae's is fake. avril's one is nice too...meida's one's the best I guess
[ .243. ] can always make you laugh: vicky. ultimate
[ .244. ] best eyes: eewei. hands down.
[ .243. ] best body: dibz. woot!
[ .246. ] most athletic: eewei
[ .247. ] sex symbol: uh......not applicable
[ .248. ] hot tempered: carr?
[ .249. ] most impatient: I dunno...maril?
[ .250. ] shortest: dibz. definitely.
[ .251. ] tallest: either eewei or meida...
[ .252. ] talented: eewei. completely hands down.
[ .253. ] best singer: sigh. meida. ahaha.
[ .254. ] skinniest: maril loh...
[ .255. ] nicest: all of them. duh
[ .256. ] best personality: see above
[ .257. ] biggest drug user: no we don't do such things...we're good kids

[ .258. ] flashed someone: are you nuts?!
[ .259. ] told a person how you felt bout them: does telling avril that I stalked her count?
[ .260. ] been to Michigan: No? What the hell kind of question is that?
[ .262. ] gone to jail or juvi: Nope
[ .263. ] skateboarded: Nope
[ .264. ] skinny dipped: no
[ .265. ] stolen anything: no
[ .266. ] wanted to kick my ass for making this so long: nah
[ .267. ] kicked someone's ass: no
[ .268. ] pegged someone in the head with a snowball: no snow...
[ .269. ] broke a beer bottle: no
[ .270. ] gotten into a bar, under-aged: nope
[ .271. ] kissed someone of the same sex: Cheek only
[ .273. ] gone on a road trip: no
[ .274. ] gone on vacation without adult supervision: Yep
[ .275. ] been to a concert: yeah. for free!!
[ .276. ] been to another country: yes
[ .277. ] talked back to an adult: Yep
[ .278. ] got pulled over: no
[ .279. ] got in a car accident: no
[ .280. ] broke a law: jaywalking counts yah...
[ .281. ] given money to a homeless person: yah
[ .282. ] tried to kill yourself: Nope
[ .283. ] cried to get out of trouble: Yes
[ .284. ] kissed a friend's brother or sister: Nope
[ .285. ] kissed a brother or sister's friend: Nope
[ .286. ] dropped something on the floor that you were cooking and ate it: I don't cook.

[ .287. ] about pop music: don't really like it. some's cool, some's terrible.
[ .288. ] about boy bands: don't like them in general. jap boy bands aren't so bad. okay I'm biased. fine?
[ .289. ] about flag burning: not very nice
[ .290. ] of the war on terrorists: I'm quite apathetic...
[ .291. ] about suicide: don't do that. you'll go to hell.
[ .292. ] about people who try to force their opinions on you: don't try.
[ .293. ] about abortion: don't do that too. it's murder.
[ .294. ] about rock/metal music: power! I love it!
[ .295. ] where do you think you'll be in 10 years: no idea
[ .296. ] who do you think you'll still be friends with in 5 years: all my friends mentioned above...

[ .297. ] last birthday: celebrated with family
[ .298. ] yesterday: came back from retreat, went for xmas xperience II
[ .299. ] last weekend: Slept =___=
[ .300. ] Christmas: go church, had fun
[ .301. ] thanksgiving: don't celebrate
[ .302. ] new years: sleep. last chance before school reopens!
[ .303. ] Halloween: don't celebrate
[ .304. ] Easter: go church
[ .305. ] valentine's day: don't celebrate

[ .306. ] thing you ate: dinner. chicken macaroni
[ .307. ] thing you drank: some weird thing my mum made
[ .308. ] thing you wore: PJs. home the whole day
[ .309. ] place you went: sengkang methodist church last night
[ .310. ] thing you got pierced/tattooed: nothing
[ .311. ] person you saw: My mum
[ .312. ] person you kissed: none
[ .313. ] person you fucked: not applicable
[ .314. ] person you talked to: hui fang
[ .315. ] song you heard: kiss from a rose. heh.

[ .316. ] what are you eating: Nothing
[ .317. ] what are you drinking: nothing
[ .318. ] what are you wearing: PJs.
[ .319. ] any shoes on: slippers
[ .320. ] hat: nope
[ .321. ] listening to: stella ng xi ban ya kuang xiang qu
[ .322. ] talking to anyone: nope
[ .323. ] are you pissed I made this so long: Not really.

[ .324. ] are you a vegetarian: Nope
[ .325. ] do you like cows: yes
[ .326. ] are you a bitch: no
[ .327. ] are you artistic: yes
[ .328. ] do you write poetry: not really
[ .329. ] are you a fast runner: gosh NO...
[ .330. ] can you ski: Never tried.
[ .331. ] are you British: nope
[ .332. ] do you want to spear britney: yes. shes overrated
[ .333. ] do the voices talk to you: huh? I'm no schiz
[ .334. ] did you ever give Barbie a haircut: don't play barbie dolls..
[ .335. ] would you eat mac & cheese with hot dogs in it: no
[ .336. ] do you think Disney creators were on acid when they made 'Alice in wonderland': First off, Diseny didn't create Alice in Wonderland.
[ .338. ] are you stupid, insane, and another physically handicapped: Insane definitely. remember xinying: you've got 2 brain cells. one's missing, and the other's gone to look for it.
[. 339. ] are you naughty: yes
[ .340. ] are you nice: to some
[ .341. ] are you short: no
[ .342. ] are you tall: yah
[ .343. ] do you own a hot pink shirt: sheesh NO
[ .344. ] how about orange pants: don't try
[ .345. ] can you see the flying monkeys: huh?
[ .346. ] are you evil : Yes I've been told I am
[ .347. ] did you ever know someone who had a mullet: nope
[ .348. ] is britney a whore: bitch is a better word.
[ .349. ] are you a teenage zombie: nope
[ .350. ] am I annoying you?: Nah
[ .351. ] do you like Marilyn Manson: No
[ .352. ] are you secretly from another planet: Nope
[ .353. ] did you ever touch someone else's private parts: no
[ .354. ] this is over, are you happy now: Yes

finally. shall take my cough mixture and go sleep. no must go dry hair too. it's cool to be sick sometimes. everyone fusses over you and does things for you. heh. the only thing is that I feel horrid and I can't eat some stuffs. but I get to sleep a lot. slept at 2300 plus last night and woke up at 1400 plus today. not bad right? gosh I'm

it's been long. so sorry. let's go day by day. going to take SOME time...but can't take too long. must update 1984. it's really fun. I'm serious...

6th. monday. OH. flipover. ahaha. quite fun. logos christian church people came to join us. yeah it means esther and felicia and the whole bunch. quite fun. we had fun. and the fellow who taught us touch rugby is REALLY familiar. even esther and another girl said so. on tv? perhaps. I don't really know. I rarely watch anything local really, and he's no actor. so...? I don't know. and he looks not bad too....ahaha. like that's the whole point right?! no it isn't. but I think he's from tp or somewhere like that. maybe I saw him at open house? or something like that? I don't know. never mind.

it rained so we played the games at thong chai. gosh that day I went home so late from thong chai. oh well that's because we went with some others to the bookstore. wenxing picked out 3 books so carefully and bought only 1 in the end. and he gets a discount! ah! ahaha. esther was like buy for meee.....

7th. tuesday. kayan and chia min came over. yeah cm's back. we went to eh to collect some stuff first though. then after that we went shopping for stuff to eat for the sentosa trip. came back, played with hard boiled eggs. ahaha. and then we realised something really stupid. we wanted to make sandwiches, yeah? we didn't buy the bread. so dumb right?! goodness. so we went out again. but this time cm and kayan needed to go, so I carried, thanks to kayan (£&$&&£***"&(&^£$..)

yes NINE. 9 loaves of bread. gosh I looked like an IDIOT. but anyway the supermarket isn't too far from my place. when I reached home I was like gosh MOTHER I didn't know bread was SO heavy. then mother told me that each loaf was 600g. that means that since I carried 7 loaves on one side, it weighed

great. the other hand carried 2 loaves and 2 big packs of snacks. and it was so DARN lighter. I was thinking GOSH when was bread THIS heavy??? now I know. OH MAN...

at night went to mariam's place for class gathering. we got the fire going at like so darn late. gosh. we had to like enlist the help of mar's brother, his friend and his friend's girlfriend. great. but it was funny anyway. everyone was like wishing meida and jolyn happy birthday and all the girls came. except sup away in australia and wanting stuck in china. ahaha. but they're having fun. I'm so sure. oh and marli stuck...somewhere. can't remember now. kh was moaning. kur was like shut up...

8th. wednesday. the big day. yeah woke up so early to get everything in. then kayan came. poor child scared of the lift. I had to go get her downstairs. then actually my mother had packed everything nicely inside this cool trolley of hers. this super cool trolley has foldable wheels and the entire thing can be folded! so cool right?! and then kayan entered, carrying a

you know that kind made of metal with square pattern...yeah plus 4 wheels and a handle. RED in colour. oh gosh! we all nearly died laughing. and it didn't help that kayan is like naturally auntie in a sense. yeah she's got nearly everything. the trolley, the hair, the hanky, the tissue, the umbrella...just short of the hand carry purse to be placed under her left armpit. ahaha. not bad right? ailing was laughing her head off. but fun anyway.

then kayan and I forgot the lettuce. great right? and we forgot other stuffs too. never mind. it's too tiring to go through the entire day. but it was fun. even though it rained and all. it was cool. at least no one was standing around bored. and I got cooked! I'm still feeling a little cooked though. but my skin is brown already. so that's not so bad.

9th. thursday. today. morning at 0900 avril came. ahaha last night she showed me what she was going to wear for prom. she wanted comments. I took one look and said

REALLY LOH! she really looked like that. it looked as if it was rather cold in wherever she was headed for. goodness me. in the end she came over and borrowed sister's white shirt. ahaha. it's nice anyway. shall await the photos...ahaha.

then went to eh for discover. left all the stuff at home. so had to get them again. therefore I was late. seriously late. haven't been really late for some time already...heh. then mae didn't come for reach over. so sad. never mind. come for the next one then!

anyway NOW I'm tired. must go type something for 1984. since there will be zero entries next week, must churn stuff out this week. yeah.

let's see. what did I want to say. okay actually I wanted to blog in the afternoon but the problem was that I drained my juices for 2 consecutive entries for my 1984 blog. actually it's just one entry, but I thought it would be so scary to have just one super long entry, so I split them up. and my stupid idea of having a title just made it worse. basically I try very hard not to get out of the little boundary that the title has set for me.

I've rattled about this before, haven't I? that it's near impossibility to give my entries a title, because I talk about anything and everything and it's so hard to even follow what I'm saying, much less actually giving it a boundary and state a topic sentence. sheesh so gp.

there are some things going on in my head now but I don't really feel like typing it all down. I don't know. there's so much to think about. or at least that's what I think. oh gosh I'm such a muddle.

oh anyway at least the class gathering's been moved to tuesday now. and they didn't tell me. either they called just now when I was talking to weiting (giving them benefit of the doubt...), or they are going to call. luckily I asked meida if she was going. then she told me of the change. gosh.

and tomorrow going to the beach! gosh. going to be SO tired after that. I'm so sure. don't know what joelle and charissa have up their sleeves. they even have to buy insurance. I almost spat out everything when joelle told me. I was like HUH for what? at most we'll get a few cuts and bruises or something. not as if we're that violent....ahaha like real right...look at the way we play games in eh...enough to kill.

should sleep early actually. teaching session in the morning then hopping down to the beach in the afternoon. then tuesday going to yaoqi's place to make food. but that is if wednesday is still on. I don't know...the response seems so bad. asking meida but she's like not freeeeeee.....moan....

nothing is coming out of me now. I'm talking in circles and talking about the same thing and my vocabulary is becoming more and more limited with each sentence. wrote too much today.

nothing much to say today. sort of exhausted. exhausted by my ridiculously long 1984 blog entry. ahaha. well actually that's like MY characteristic. yeah you can go there from here:

you can choose either resolution which suits your computer. so nice of me, eh? for once. but that means double work for me. oh it's my fault that I made the background so nice and all but only works on 1024x768. so now I've made it work on 800x600, but on a different page. and quickly designed a nineteen eighty four picture for the main page. looks quite nice actually. had a few glitches but HEY there's nothing about silly html I can't handle.

there's so much I can't do actually. so much. all the annoying css, php, javascript blah blah...oh gosh. there's like so much. and I HATE tables, love layers too much...therefore...oh well. and I've had hell with iframes (still having actually) and so many other things. unsolved. darn. never mind...shall learn some day. ONE fine day...I know basics. well better than nothing. ahaha.

don't really know what else to say now. let me think. oh well there isn't much to say in the first place right? I said that at the beginning of the entry. so why am I rattling and prattling on and on again? I don't know. perhaps I'm beginning to get used to my super long entries. short entries are beginning to look ugly. oh dear. this don't sound good. ahaha.

oh must report. sent the draft over to yesasia. let's hope it gets there on time. the lady said 4-6 days. and it must reach there by the 9th of december. like oh great. let's hope they sent it today. then it has more hope...arrrghh didn't expect it to take this long actually. should have posted it way earlier. then I wouldn't be feeling like this.

it's always like that. shouldn't have shouldn't have, you LAST MINUTE IDIOT. and now I'm thinking oh DARN I've seemingly started my 1984 blog a little TOO late and I'm going to go crazy catching up. I think after church tomorrow I'll come home quickly and blog through at least one more. if possible, 2. hate running after myself. but I always do. so annoying!!!

okay calm down. no point screaming. feel like playing shape shifter again. ahaha. let's go play!!!!

here we go. ripped from maril's blog.

My Top 5 Joys at the Moment:
- my family
- my friends
- God
- my piano
- my computer

15 Years Ago:
- I was only two...very cute...haha
- I really don't know what happened...serious
- but I DO know I was very very fat and heavy still...

10 Years Ago:
- I was seven! yay! primary one.
- got full marks for all subjects for midyears
- started listening to chinese pop thanks to sister
- wasn't so cute anymore
- oh well...those were the days...primary one
- oh I was the monitress! ahahaha!!
- wrote my friend's name down so many times
- so childish then. can't believe it.

5 Years Ago:
- I was...twelve!
- full swing into jrock. simply loved hyde
- started listening to dir en grey! ahhh!!!
- seriously FINALLY accepted Christ
- taking psle (obviously not caring)
- strangely wanting to go dhs (goodness me!! for what?!)
- actually couldn't care less about anything
- those were...still the days...

3 Years Ago:
- I was..let me see...fourteen. yeah.
- crazy time
- getting used to my not very chinese class
- beginning to know what failing subjects meant
- but guess what? still didn't fail. ahaha. bash me. go.
- crazily decided to go triple science. still don't know why.
- entered main band (actually the year before in december)
- went for syf 2001!
- and oh yeah baby we won TOP BAND OF SINGAPORE
- cried like SHIT
- should have gotten an award for being juni's slave of the year
- dropped a mute on juni's trombone
- washed the toilet with shiqi for that...ahaha...

2 Years Ago:
- I was fifteen. gosh
- having fun hearing people call me ma'am
- adjusting to new class
- failing subjects like NOBODY'S business
- average about 3-4 subjects failed per semester
- forever fighting with hui min over class position
- oh OKAY she was like 34 and me 35. happy?
- went for obs
- got to know the most inhuman china scholar I've ever seen
- changed instrument! oh yeah my dears it was that highly 
  coveted $5000 piece of metal called the trombone, which was
  the one I dropped a mute on...so sad...
- went to japan!!!
- had fun there with the new tromphonium section...ahaha
- got a load of shit there too...

1 Year Ago:
- I was sixteen. not very sweet.
- being AQM sucks. being SL sucks more. trust me.
- getting LOTS and LOTS of shit from prawn. overload
- cried in front of my section FOR REAL for the first (and last)
  time
- received a ridiculously funny sorry card from juniors for that
- went for syf AGAIN
- got gold okay! never say my batch brought the band down...
- performed in the esplanade! WOOT!
- but darn stressful anyway
- became real good friends with eewei
- and my fengshui is always better than hers...ahahaahaha
- lousy o levels
- failed chem SO bad it hit F9!! WOOT!
- started joining loads of yfc stuff
- joined projectserve for the first time!
- had fun at chem tuition. chee hong couldn't believe the terrible
  standard of my chemistry. ahahaahahaah...
- went for bible trail for the first time too...
- strangely decided to go to mj. don't ask why. I don't know.
- seriously MAD over dir en grey...REALLY MAD....

This Year, I:
- am IN mjc. doing arts. so much for triple science. heh.
- joined eldds. don't ask why either.
- made great friends there anyway. WOOOTT!!!!!!
- had fun in first three months. ahahahaha
- yeah including the time we supposedly went to singapore poly,
  skipped chinese and got into hell of trouble with crossley, went
  to east coast to cycle and play together, going to norvin's
  house, playing murderer with madam, making norvin propose to
  irving, literature play (anagha! look at me!!), oh and madam was
  my angel in the angel/mortal game thing...
- after first three months...life changed...sigh
- don't seriously hate my class now but...it's different
- still alive anyway
- found 2 jrockin' friends! charlene and weiling!
- went for drama syf 2004! WOOT!
- never mind the bronze. I love all you peeps! WOOOOTTT!!
- found more people to love. yeah.
- yeah this goes out to my darling friends like avril, maril, mae,
  meida, crys, joyce (boohoo), farna, kur, mar, jae...
- BLOODY PW...well okay it wasn't so much the work, really...
- promoted....so...whatever. 
- went for projectserve and bible trail again!
- know more people in the east area. outside team 3, that is

Yesterday I:
- ahhh look below. it's yesterday's entry.

Today I:
- went for bible trail final day
- came back and slept like a pig again
- ate dinner
- played piano again
- bathed
- am here now.

5 Games/Sports I Like:
- aiyah I hate sports...
- but I like watching F1 and rugby...
- I hate soccer okay so don't try. I'd rather watch golf. at least
  there's nice scenery

5 Things I'd Do With $1000:
- buy an mp3 player. if I'm feeling kind I'll buy one for avril too
- save the rest

3 Bad Habits:
- sleeping too much
- doing everything too slowly
- rolling my eyes...heh

5 TV Shows I Like:
- okay this is bad. I don't watch much tv.
- maybe one. SMURFS!!!!

5 Places I've Stayed At:
- home? ahaha
- retreat venues (yeah from navigators in telok kurau to st. john's
  island)
- friend's houses...
- chalets
- outside...like the overnight hike. I slept at the esplanade
  merlion. so jia lat right?!

My Top 5 Worries At The Moment:
- I'm...very bo chap...
- that means, I don't care much for things
- what do I worry...nothing much lah...

My Top 5 Movies:
- ANOTHER HEAVEN!!!!!!!!!AHHHHH!!!!
- MOON CHILD? okay that's thanks to those two called hyde and
  gackt
- LOTR movies! WOOT!
- cartoons! nemo, shark tale, shrek, INCREDIBLES!! JACK JACK!!
- spidey!!

5 Things I Spend The Most Money On:
- food
- accessories
- absolute unnecessities
- haiz...jrock stuff. so expensive...blow myself away...
- friends. sometimes...you know who you are...

5 Favourite Words/Phrases:
- haiyah!!
- jia lat
- BOOYA!
- uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
- lame shit

5 Favourite Things:
- my house phone. so precious
- my blog. smile.
- my new cross necklace!! AHH!! SO PRETTY!!
- my beadies...which are still with wanting...moan...
- msn. oh man I need that thing...

5 Books I Like:
- the blue castle (LM montgomery)
- anything really, by roald dahl. heh. so small kid.
- funny how the magic starts (can't remember by who anymore)
- I really don't know. do comics count?? ahaha

5 Foods I Dislike/Hate:
- chilli!!ARRRGHH!!
- orange veggies. yeah carrots, pumpkins, sweet potatoes...
- KANG KONG...my enemy...
- garlic, ginger, pepper...ah you know the list...
- as you can tell, I'm...not too fussy...ahahaaahahaha....

5 Favourite Kids' Names:
- jacqueline
- ashley
- ethan
- shannon
- violet

5 Random Things I Like:
- ARRGH SAFETY PINS!!
- purple..ooooh
- crosses. not voodoo okay....
- my long nails. ahahaha...
- kyo's hair now!! AHHH!!!

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okay finally. you have no idea how long that took to do. gosh I haven't done something like that for quite some time, yeah? usually I do very short answer things. this one I actually have to think through those years OH SO long ago and type out stuff. gosh so tedious. my poor brain!!!!!!

anyway, before I get anymore drama, and therefore scare everyone who reads this crap, I shall sign off here. oh yeah.

from the top floor of the building @ 2153

yeah it's me again. finally changed layout again. been waiting for it to happen. gotten so sick of the previous one. hehheh. yeah even though it's dir en grey. okay people I know this is freaking red but I'm sorry, die LOVES red, yeah?? so...too bad. hey at least it's red...we'll all have to bear with pink next march just because the layout features miyavi and meev loves pink. like how bad could things get? very bad.

anyway, let's start with, erm, yesterday. yeah. got home too late, way too late to type anything yesterday. so therefore this first entry of december is dated the second, instead of keeping it like november's, which was AHHH daily entries. anyway I'll be away for a week, 13-17 december for SF retreat!! church camp, as some people call it. and so therefore the week will have no entry, so since I foresee it, why bother keeping it daily?? and I've been getting fretted and nagged at for keeping at this computer daily anyway. yeah mother and her eyesight theory. oh yes I know it's quite bad, but mother I am bored. oh fine I have to read my stuff, do my homework, study oh gosh econs, tidy that top-cannot-be-seen table and blah blah blah. but...very sian. I'm like too tired and not in the mood to do this. as usual, right? like what's new? nothing.

yesterday. went for bible trail day 1! yeah woke up so early, went into freezing sanctuary...today they turned the temperature up, so it wasn't so cold. and actually a one hour message doesn't seem too long. must be the sf speakers. they make a 45 minutes message sound like 2 hours. but nothing beats certain lecturers out there...right?

haha this year my leader is melissa. yeah the little girl who seems to exist for me to bully. oh well I was pretty nice to her today. ahaha. at least better today. decided this morning to be nicer since I woke up late...terrible.

after that I went to meet aileen at heartland. actually I was meeting her at 1800, and not expecting her to be on time, but jingrong wanted to go already, so I decided, very irrationally as usual, to go with her. and thus I reached heartland at something like 1715. then shortly after jingrong's bus came and went and I was stuck by myself at that puny place for the next 30 minutes. so I decided haiz since I stupidly decided to accompany jingrong and reached heartland so early as a result, I might as well stop moping and walk around. the pasar malam was there anyway. so at least there was some sort of stuff to see.

so I strolled around the pasar malam area, then I felt so warm, and so I thought okay, I shall be super loser and walk around INSIDE the place. oh well for the sake of air conditioning...and so I walked in. then I took the escalator up to the second floor, and spotted someone so darned familiar on my right. I couldn't believe for a while. I stared a little harder, sort of made one whole round and then followed him down and carried on looking until he walked out of the mall. guess who?? I got a shock. it was

irving. yes my dears, irving goh. I felt like calling crystal for a moment. so tempted. ahaha. but no point anyway. yeah he was there with (I assume) his wife. oh well she looks...ahaha. they looked quite cute together. heh. but I think he saw me. staring too hard. well, just to make sure...

and anyway aileen arrived at 1855. so smart right? ahaha. oh well because she's on medication and overslept. so never mind. so we packed dinner from kfc and went over to grace's place.

yeah we watched singapore idol there. TAUFIK ROCKS!!! oh yes get that sly outta there please, somebody!!! finally singaporeans are less blind and less deaf. or at least the olinda camp who shifted to taufik camp did us proud. ahaha.

after that got home real late. slightly past midnight. heh. mother was like you girls...yeah sister joined us there too. oh well at least we didn't have to walk home. but for the first time in a long long while I had to run for the freaking bus again. didn't like the prospect of waiting for the next bus. and certainly wasn't waiting for the bus we saw when we left grace's to turn around at the loop area and come along. that would take the next half an hour at the very least. goodness NO...

okay finally. today. ahaha. went for bible trail day 2! and yeah, late. therefore melissa decides to curb this problem by meeting me for breakfast tomorrow morning. ahaha. well okay...angela did that to me last year too. I guess angie did that because it was an unfamiliar place. mel is really...because I'm late. quite fun today. angeline didn't come today though, another girl charlotte came, and hui shan came. and since geraldine is happily in new zealand, she joined us. so the group is a wee bit bigger today. yeah and dora came too! ahaha. haven't seen her for so long. oh gosh all these tjc alumnus. terrible. so many of them. amanda, angela, geraldine, melissa, tingyu, dora, angeline, yaoqi ALL from tjc. goodness me. I believe there are more actually...but not very sure. so better not say. ahaha. but charlotte's from sajc and she knows who sarah is. ahaha.

session on relativism was by ailing...zhijie and shyi dong so funny. but you know although it sounds so seriously exaggerated, it's pretty true. okay here's the story.

"So," says the owner, "everything is relative. That is why I believe that all morals are not absolute and that right and wrong is up to the individual to determine within the confines of society. But there is no absolute right and wrong."

"That is a very interesting perspective," says the thief. "I was brought up believing that there was a God and that there was right and wrong. But I abandoned all of that and I agree with you that there is no absolute right and wrong and that we are free to do what we want."

The thief leaves the store and returns that evening and breaks in. He has disabled all the alarms and locks and is in the process of robbing the store. That is when the owner of the store enters through a side door. The thief pulls out a gun. The owner cannot see the man's face because he is wearing a ski mask.

"Don't shoot me," says the owner. "Please take whatever you want and leave me along."

"Wait a minute. I know you. You are the man that was in hte store earlier today. I recognise your voice."

"That is very unfortunate for you," says the thief. "Because now you also know what I look like. And since I do not want to go to jail I am forced to kill you."

"So? I am sure that you are insured and that they will get a lot of money after you die. But since there is no right and wrong it makes no difference whether or not I kill you. And since if I let you live you will turn me in and I will go to prison. Sorry, but that will not do."

"But it is a crime against society to kill me. It is wrong because society says so."

"As you can see, I don't recognise society's claim to impose morals on me. It's all relative, remember?"

"Please do not shoot me, I beg you. I promise not to tell anyone what you look like. I swear it!"

"Sorry, but it cannot be true because there is no absolute truth, no right and wrong, no error, remember? If I let you live and then I left, you will break your so-called promise because it is all relative. There is no way I could trust you. Our conversation this morning convinced me that you believe everything is relative. Because of that, I cannot believe you will keep your word. I cannot trust you."

"It is neither right or wrong for me to kill you. Since truth is relative to the individual, if I kill you, that is MY truth. And, it is obviously true that is I let you live I will go to prison. Sorry, but you have killed yourself."

yeah that was taken from ailing's notes. the story. shyi dong was the thief and zhijie the owner. nothing's grey in the world. it's all black and white. people always make up grey areas and always say "but it depends on the person, depends on the situation" blah blah but it doesn't really make sense. if it really depends on people, then the world will be such mess because there is no right and wrong. everyone can twist it such that it suits them and gets them out of trouble, just because they look at it from a different perspective from you.

anyway, after the session I went for the special hour at the media section! ahaha. so fun. the postcards were so nice! and yeah I took one. and guess what, zheng long has a HUGE

okay it's not like super huge, but hey it's pretty big. it's like newspaper size, put landscape. nono it's bigger. slightly bigger. but AHHHHH IT'S JACK JACK!!! but it's a limited edition poster. and stupid me didn't ask him where he got it from. and he has all the postcards!!!! aHHHHH!!!!!!!! JACK JACK!!!!!!!

breathe in, breathe out. JACK JACK!!!!!! oh no oh no, breathe in, breathe out. breathe in again, breathe out. calm down...

should I do the survey thing on maril's blog? but...the entry is already freaking long...another day then. you know I intended to do something like that. like look back on my crazy life. and I mean crazy. okay so get ready for a mad entry perhaps, tomorrow. till then, I leave you with my darling die (sorry jiabi I claim him for this month) looking forlorn on my right!