25th June

the month is ending. which means...new layout coming soon! yay! I'm not sick of kyo (goodness me NO!), but I'm tired of this pink thing. very tired, in fact. the contrast isn't good at all. it was fine actually, but the more I look at it the worse it gets really. can't wait for july's layout though. it's really nice (I'm freakingly and stinkingly bloody proud of it) and WAH can't wait.

wanting came just now to try my court shoes. her feet too wide! otherwise I think the length is okay. length is easy to alter anyway, just stuff some tissue in front, or put in some insoles and we're done. but her feet are too fat. too bad daaarling.

or actually I just have puny feet. no they're not like ooooh super duper small and sweet but they're small considering my ridiculous height. okay, not ridiculous. otherwise I'm insulting my entire family. well nearly. most of them are at least my height. except yihui, that is. somehow even yanyan grew to around my height too. his biological parents must have been not very short.

suddenly feeling very hungry. mother bought breakfast for the two girlies at home, but since we got out of bed at only 12 plus, seeing the 2 plates worth of chwei kuei, we finished it up. and we treated that as lunch. but now I'm hungry. and it's only 5 plus. and I shouldn't eat now, otherwise I can't eat dinner. which is GAH.

so sian. quick school reopen and the exams AWAY!! oops I'm supposed to like say why are the hols ending so freaking fast and I have no time to study! HOW?!

nonsense. I think that must have been the only thing that has never changed (and might never change). my bo chap spirit. which is bad really. you know I always think to myself, that if I work really hard, be more disciplined and MUG and wake up early (like dear vicky) and stop stoning while doing anything and stop being constantly attracted to the freaking computer and tv, then I'd do damn well.

then again, I think many of us are like that. if we work seriously hard and stop the distractions and be well disciplined, we'll do wonders. but obviously that is like so not visible in moi...

and here's a little announcement:

I am too lazy to set up my archives page properly. thus I will just set up a previous layouts page for the time being. no, not even previous layouts. it'll just be a gallery of all the main pictures I used these 2 years. oh my can't believe how lazy I am. even though all I need to do is to upload the already archived webpages and all the pictures which are already sorted out by month. basically I just upload every single file in my blog folder and I won't miss out anything. and then of course, link everything on one page.

damn do you know how much effort that takes????!!!!

maybe it doesn't. or perhaps I'm not that interested in allowing people to access my archives. or perhaps I'm just lazy. or perhaps actually all I want to do is to show off the oooh so lo-ve-ly pictures I have on this stinking blog.

oh. I think the latter is the reason. and I think I'll create a page for all the nice nice nice lyrics that I've posted here thus far. to hell with the archives! they're just stuck in my computer for MY reading. of course if one day I have the time, I might read through all my nonsense and fish out some really memorable entries and push them onto one page.

yeah. that's what I'll do. bye bye to archives. I'm too LAZY. wahahaha.

I'm off to do the pictures page!!!! and oh that means I must utterly revamp (once again) my main page! shall announce when I'm done.

and you know what's the worst part of all? I still haven't opened bleeding berry! I promised myself to open the freaking site in june...wail. and I don't have the time to do it. actually I haven't finished either. the lyrics and translations page is in an utter mess. and I mean MESS. damn. that's like the most tedious page. which is why it's left half done. and the worst part about lyrics pages is that I can't do it half way. I wouldn't remember where I stopped and my format and then I must get used to copying and pasting all over again and then my eyes will start to bleed...

WAIL.

piccies page!!!

you buy me love for my birthday @ 2157

22nd June

alrighty. my shit computer is slow AGAIN. I can't believe it. and I hate to have typo errors because it takes like a million years before it registers. which is sheesh.

and I don't know why it's slow again. it wasn't like that for like the past 19 days. don't know why it is like that again. and it's really infuriating.

well the only GOOD thing today is that I went to download the picture of ISAO NANJOU (I cannot bear this. he is SO CUTE!!!!) and I am so going to faint. despite himself being a simple doll, he's just absolutely fantabulous. I am so on the verge of buying him. actually the only thing that's stopping me from buying that little doll face (pardon the pun) is that he costs a freaking

96,600yen. (S$1449)

you tell me. EXPENSIVE OR NOT????!!!!!!

and the little darling is not very tall. and not very big either. obviously. what am I talking about. but he's very very very very very very very preeeeeeeetyyyyyy....

actually that's like the only reason why I even bothered, right? and you know what's the worst part? isao happens to be the MOST expensive doll. DAMN. I'm always attracted to freakingly expensive things. always. I don't know why. even the fish I eat also expensive. win already. I don't know what else I can say about myself.

and just in case you are actually interested in the shit I just said, go here.

and honestly I don't really think I have anything more to say. just that I've apparently looked studious enough so my parents aren't screaming me off the computer. or at least I think so.

but tomorrow must really study. I'm so horrible. I'm so so so super lazy to study. and I love samuel's nick.

midyears, prelims, As. meaningless, meaningless, meaningless.

perhaps we've picked up the wrong lessons from ecclesiastes after all.

oh now I remember what else I wanted to write.

I think it's a curse all school bands have to put up with. Band concerts are really for Band people, and the irony lies in how we want the rest of the school there 'cuz it's work we want to show off to our friends and teachers... sometimes I wish people could relate to Bands as much as they do choirs, because what we lack in words, we can sometimes make up for with beautiful playing, and that's the wonder of band music. It isn't all about drumsets and saxophones... if you take the time to quieten down, there's more to wind band literature than most people give credit to.

WOOT! suddenly I love joel. sheesh. but what he typed IS true. very unfortunate but very very true. and it's really a curse, because there's always somebody out there who just isn't really willing to come for the freaking concert or some just came to 'show' their support but they don't appreciate it. sometimes I think that perhaps not coming is better, because the band players would like the audience to have enjoyed it, regardless of whether we've received tonnes of flowers and choc from you kids.

but if it's been a boring night for you (especially for SOME schools with like nearly zero pop songs), then why did you come? it's wasting money, effort and time. come for the music, darlings. we'll understand if you can't appreciate, because there's stuff that band people don't really appreciate too.

you buy me love for my birthday @ 2157

19th June

actually I didn't finish last night. but I'm not going to carry on now. just awoke from a 3 hour nap. and I just felt like finishing up that entry and type something here. there's nothing to say actually.

you buy me love for my birthday @ 1845

18th June

just came back not too long ago from lian hong's wedding. yeah that horrible girl dropped so many bomb shells on us poor contacts.

besides that. today OH NO TODAY is yifang and shera's birthday! and I didn't get fang anything. damn. but I don't know what to get her. she's as difficult as me, because we kinda know what to get for each other but then it's like way too expensive. yeah you know that sort of thing. and erm ahaha supposed to message shera. vick's great idea.

and my two overdue agendas.

------------------------------------------------

One day, all the vices and virtues were gathered together and were more bored than ever. Suddenly, Ingenious came up with an idea "Let's play hide and seek!" All of them liked the idea and immediately Madness shouted: "I want to count, I want to count!" And since nobody was crazy enough to want to seek Madness, all the others agreed. Madness leaned against a tree and started to count "One,two, three..."

As Madness counted, the vices and virtues went hiding. Tenderness hung itself on the horn of the moon... Treason hid in a pile of garbage... Fondness curled up between the clouds...and Passion went to the centre of the earth.... Lie said that it would hide under a stone, but hid at the bottom of the lake... whilst Avarice entered a sack that he ended up breaking. And Madness continued to count: ...." seventy nine, eighty, eighty one..."

By this time, all the vices and virtues were already hidden except Love. For undecided as Love is, he could not decide where to hide. And this should not surprise us, because we all know how difficult it is to hide Love. Madness: "...ninety five,ninety six, ninety seven..." Just when Madness got to one hundred.........
Love jumped into a rose bush where he hid. And Madness turned around and shouted: "I'm coming, I'm coming!"

As Madness turned around, Laziness was the first to be found, because Laziness had no energy to hide. Then he spotted Tenderness in the horn of the moon, Lie at the bottom of the lake and Passion at the centre of the earth.! One by one, Madness found them all - except Love. Madness was getting desperate, unable to find Love.

Envious of Love, Envy whispered to Madness: "You only need to find Love, and Love is hiding in the rose bush." Madness grabbed a wooden pitch fork and stabbed wildly at the rosebush. Madness stabbed and stabbed until a heartbreaking cry made him stop. Love appeared from the rose bush, covering his face with his hands. Between his fingers ran two trickles of blood from his eyes. Madness, so anxious to find Love, had stabbed out Love's eyes with a pitch fork.

"What have I done! What have I done!" Madness shouted. "I have left you blind! How can I repair it?" And Love answered: "You cannot repair my eyes. But if you want to do something for me, you can be my guide."
And so it came about that from that day on, Love is blind and is always accompanied by Madness ...
---------------------------------------------

yeah that's the silly little story ripped from ys' blog. silly, I say, because it's not always true. as usual the media plays up the idea that people are literally, madly in love but gah you think it happens? I mean the obsession fades, yeah? and then again, obsession isn't love. if it were I'm a dead goner. and I mean it. you kiddies know...

--------------------------------------

Was thinking, sometimes we don’t see certain things until we’re ready to see them..in a certain way. What’s scary is when you realise that ten years have been spent going after things you thought were important, fought tooth and nail for, get this things, and then feel a sneaking suspicion that perhaps you have gone after the wrong things, and that where the truly important things are concerned, you’re still a total idiot.
-----------------------------------------------

I don't know if the entire paragraph up there made sense to you, but I know the context of it, so...it's ripped from my buddy's blog. and it's freaking true. sometimes people tell us NO it's like THAT but we insist NO LAH it's fine like THIS. and then deep inside we know it's not the way we insist it is, but we can't come to terms with it.

and then...fighting nail and tooth is a little exaggerated, I mean, there's never really been things in my life that I fight so hard for (I'm so spoiled, you see), but I know that sometimes after trying to get something for so long, and then after you get it and you think oh wow everything's gonna be perfect and that YES it's MINE and that's GOOD, sometimes it turns out wrong.

but it's quite good that I don't fight too hard for it, really. because fighting hard for it makes me face the first scenario all over again, and I will require more and more courage as the years go by and I think back on what I fought for, what people have said, and then I insist and rationalise and rationalise once more and then think that I'm right even though I know I'm not.

so silly, huh? delusionary. but I'm always delusionary. I think too much. I see too many future scenarios. I wish too much. I always insist too much.

sometimes I think I'm destroying myself. so I think to myself, let's put this away. let's put my obsessions away, for example.

but I know I won't. somehow I know I won't.

but I also know, they'll kill me someday.

so how. DOUBLETHINK! sheesh.

and you know while bathing just now I was thinking about this dear dear song I composed so long ago. yes it was put up on my february 2005 layout but I don't know if anyone in the world bothered to read it, that is if you even knew that I had a blog then. many didn't.

I've become more public about it. but yet I know the entries have become different. you know as I look back on my own entries and read others' entries on their blogs, I seemingly think I'm happier.

or at least it seems so.

seems.

I don't know. when I look at my rants and my incredible entries that span like half the freaking page and the uninterpretable things I write that no one understands but myself, and then I look at my present ones which reflect just simply my account of life and what I did today and all that nonsense and that the other side of me got kept away again.

but after reading that little paragraph on my buddy's blog, I realised something. that paragraph sounds like what I would write last time. but I don't write it anymore. and in fact I don't seem to be able to write like that anymore.

why? is it because I've decided not to? or is it because I think that I shouldn't? or is it just that I don't care for it anymore? I don't know. gah I hate this answer. but it's so true. often so true.

you buy me love for my birthday @ 0000

15th June

I know I have 3 simple things to put up here. that's what I said yesterday. but obviously, as the tone of the sentence goes, I'm changing my mind.

instead, I have decided to talk about VIO (many thanks to maril) and his poor taste choice. and also I will rant much on kodou. today is kodou day. like yesterday.

I love kodou.

now, VIO. according to my biggest source of info aka marilyn (because she sees him more than I do), he listens to chinese pop. not that I have a problem with that. he listens to jay chou and stef sun. fine. it's WHY he does it.

incensed.

he HAS to rake up the very two I cannot stand. and he HAS to like the reasons for which I cannot stand them for. like oh GREAT.

ripping from maril:

he likes zhou jie lun because his lyrics are 'poetic and lyrical' and sun yan zi's voice.

in order to avoid myself catapulting into a fully extended argument which is going to tire myself out and tire the readers out and offend hell lot of fans, let's keep this short. but even short spurts will kill. so all jay and stef fans ignore the paragraph(s) which will follow.

1. liking jay chou's lyrics. okay plenty of kiddies love his lyrics. but somehow or another, jay's BEST lyrics don't come from him. they come from his beloved lyricist, fang wen shan. and although fang seems to write less and less for him, the most poetic and serious lyrics come from him. jay just sings okay, and not that his songs are wonderful, and his voice is worse. thus I see no reason in listening to jay. if you like his lyrics, just read them. the songs aren't worth listening to. and no I don't think jay looks handsome. so there.

2. now on stef. stef's voice in particular. her voice is not bad, as in she doesn't go out of tune and it's freakingly recognizable. but very very unfortunately, she cannot pronounce her chinese properly, which is very sad to hear. she ends up sounding a lot like tanya chua, who is like part of the ang moh bunch in singapore. so now what. singapore chinese education has utterly failed, because her chinese has an english accent.

besides the freaking gross accent in her pronounciation, her voice has been TRAINED. it's been trained and it sounds like that! sheesh. almeida sounds better than her anyday and meida is UNtrained. so can you imagine if I sent meida on vocal training? she can go stand at the esplanade and sing opera!

therefore to enjoy stef's voice is absolutely out of the question because if she sounded like that without training, I'd have nothing much to say. but it is precisely because of that training which causes me to scream.

bleagh. typed that very fast. and that was just on jay's lyrics and stef's voice. I haven't finished my argument on why you shouldn't like them both really, but that'll take too long. and off topic. and highly sensitive.

now for some GOOD lyrics and GOOD voice. onto dir en grey we go. well okay. perhaps different people have differing tastes in lyrics and all. like perhaps some people just like the sort of lyrics where you can envision the lyricist sitting down quietly in some place like the park or the airport and penning down all the thoughts they have as they observe people and life and think of their own memories.

and then there're people who love gackt type of lyrics. the super cheesy ones with I'll be there for you and that I'll love you forever type. or that no matter what happens I'm going to be there, even if it takes my life. or worse, the 'it doesn't matter if the relationship doesn't last, so long as we've gone through it before'. sheesh. that chinese phrase is UGH.

and the opposite holds. the breakups and boohoo thingies which are oh so sad and that people who just broke up should not listen to them else they commit suicide. but people listen anyway.

and then there're people who love the imagery sort of lyrics. where something has happened to the lyricist or to someone close to him and then they metaphorise the entire freaking thing and then after a while we just don't really know what the felle is talking about but the language is so beautiful and some phrases are just worth picking up and voila, we love that song.

and of course, we cannot forget the angsty lyrics genre. the simple plan blam blam headbang thing which always screams that the world is at fault, God ain't there, life sucks and all of us should just go die.

and the list goes on. if I continue to talk on I'd never finish this freaking entry. thus, where does dir en grey lie in all this mess of lyrics?

according to music, they ought to lie in the last category. but kyo, the daaarling on the left hand side, has decided that they shall not lie in a particular category. daaarling kyo write about anything really.

and I mean anything.

yeah there's the love songs alright, but check out the rest. he writes real ugly things, but hey at least it's different. we've become so desperate for new things in this world that it has come to this stage.

kyo writes anything from love to sex, from drugs to rape, from war to abortion. homicide, genocide, suicide. anything. anything really. and here's kodou. kodou means pulse.

KODOU

The sadness on the face will probably be gone tomorrow
When did my eyes become dead?

What is waiting for me tomorrow as I sing and live without meaning?
Alone in my room as my heartbeat screams
Don't kid yourself and don't fool yourself

I am addicted to the perceived fate
I am alone as I linger onto this fate
Don't kid yourself, don't wound yourself

The unstoppable rain
The unstoppable sound
The unstoppable wound
The unstoppable love
The unstoppable song...

I can't stop it anymore
I can't handle it anymore

Kill the voice
Close your eyes
Drown in the darkness
Roam around
I won't depend on anyone anymore
Kill the voice
Close your eyes
Drown in the darkness
Roam around
I keep inside me your keen voice...
All in darkness

It's such an irony, this sunny bright weather
-Good Morning-

yeah it may seem like a pile of nasty stuffs to you, and just plain angsty, but if you watch how he does it in japanese it's simply amazing. he chooses the loveliest words I tell you.

although not his loveliest song yet, but kodou is simply my favourite for now. and I just downloaded the PV last night, and man is it COOL. true, it's not as disturbing as saku. or rather, it's not disturbing at all. just that the guy they got to act is damn ugly. and I didn't know if the girl lived or not. she seemed to have moved when she got dumped out on the road.

but then again, looking at what the guy did after hanging her, I don't know if she'd live anyway. but they never said how the police caught him. yeah strangely enough the police are actually involved. well not trying to say that dir en grey advocates getting away scot free, but somehow the police part caught me a little off guard. but it made the PV make sense.

and what's lyrics and a music video without the music?? kodou is a DAMN nice song. and I didn't even realise. and I think that's enough for just one song.

and I've gone on a kyo picture spree. collected some really really lovely pictures of him. and seen some which I've never seen before. mainly these 2 series of pictures. perhaps because they belonged to the macabre tour - kisou era, aka when kyo was at his ugliest. that was like the time when kyo decided that since he cannot be pretty like his bandmates, he shall turn the tables on the visual kei genre by becoming ugly.

gosh did he succeed. but picked up one from the gauze tour era. very sexy. kyo isn't like fantabulously pretty like totchi and shinya, neither is he cool enough like tall large eyed die or angular faced kaoru.

who cares. kyo is such a genius when it comes to lyrics. honestly he's like the only member in diru who can just move by himself and create a one man show. he can compose, sing, arrange, write beautiful lyrics and there you go. all he needs is a band of musicians.

but of course kyo is a difficult felle. that's why diru needs kaoru as leader, and not kyo. ah well. I remember the days when I like die and kaoru a lot. and then it swung dramatically to totchi and shinya. and it's swung one last time to kyo. and it's been kyo for a couple of years now. not bad.

the rest remains eye candy, but somehow I still await 2007-9, when their music career advances onto nearly a decade, and see what happens. well, that is if I still like dir en grey. because as all jrock fans know, for amazingly popular jrock groups, many go solo around their 10th year. some got back together, like laruku, some never did, like luna sea and some never can, like x japan.

so...we'll see. nobody in diru look like they'll die either. so we'll....just see lah.

you buy me love for my birthday @ 1924

and for all that jazz, I didn't conclude the way I meant to. like sigh. well all I wanted to say at the end is, somehow, vio is really really perfect except for the musicality part. which is why I sincerely believe that nobody's perfect, as in there's like no THE one out there. there's some flaw in everyone you meet. just whether you'd accept it. and whether that flaw is fatal or not.

gah must stop the philosophies and rants.

you buy me love for my birthday @ 2227

14th June

I am sick and duly upset. but life must go on. promises made must be fulfilled. thus my story from (oh dear) 10th june onwards must be told. damn. so much.

10th: went studying with vicky. actually did econs. like WOW. then we went cycling! took her neighbours' bikes and went onto the park connector to east coast park. but the stupid bike seat was too low, and we tried to get it fixed at the bike shop at the park but the screw too tight. dang. so I had a very achy ride back as well.

and it rained during our dinner. had turtle soup and she had hokkien mee. and then when I was just about done, her plastic plate of hokkien mee caught the wind and went a flying. and guess what?

the stupid prawn shell flew into my soup!!!!!!

UGH VICTORIA!!! I was going to scream soon. but because there was this middle aged couple sharing the table with us I refrained from screaming out loud.

and that couple thought we were sisters!!! omg that's like the funniest thing I've ever heard in my life. victoria and I. sisters.

WAHAHAHA. like so wrong.

but funny lah. so now I'm her sl, her junior, and of late, her sister. wow. great rise in status huh.

11th: nothing much. went for lian hong's wedding rehearsal. pst joshua stressed the flower girl out oh so badly. randy was feeling bad for her. so was I. he insisted on the speed she walked, the way she walked. aiyoh. and he was turning the entire thing into this wonderfully ritualistic thing. and the two poor things just left everything to him since they themselves didn't really know what to do.

12th: went to church and all, had lunch with aileen grace and ivana. welcome, dear ivana (aka clever girl!) into our circle. ahaha. she so freaking cute. for all her IQ is worth she does the silliest and funniest and nonsensical things in the world. and then they came to my place because I refused to go to grace's house to play bridge. so since they would be short of one (gosh like mahjong), they came over instead.

and it was fun anyway. and we pored over ancient sf photos. and I dug out the one where ivana was 6!! so CUTE!! because over lunch aileen was talking about how ivana used to wear this pretty pink dress and had long pigtail hair and all and I was like ooooh I have a picture of something like that of her! and I dug it out. she was like OH MAN...

13th: yesterday. I lost my voice. as in seriously. I'm sick again, remember? did math and fell asleep. refused to see doctor.

today: went to see the doctor. and I kinda feel better already. actually what disturbs me is not the fact that I'm coughing like nuts, or the fact that my nose runs now and then, or that I've got loads of phlegm and a slightly swollen throat.

it's that...I can't talk properly. and I cannot sing. absolutely not. well, I can, sort of. but it's like one octave below everything else. and I sound damn awful. I hope I sound better by thursday otherwise it's going to be very very funny.

and I'm tired again. oh and I collected my registered mail! woot! so sister and I can watch something new! but we haven't finished 12 kingdoms yet...simply love the taihos.

and I've completely fallen in love with kodou, the last track on dir en grey's latest album withering to death. yeah yeah I know it was released like 3 months ago but HEY I suddenly like this song, okay? after 3 months I've discovered C, dead tree, garbage, and beautiful dirt! and now kodou. 5 songs in 3 months. not bad at all. hey that means I quite like wtd after all. at first I didn't really like it. I was so darn sure vulgar was like way way better. but actually counting the songs I like out of wtd, hey I do like a lot of it after all.

woot. now you know why I'm so nutty over diru. and it just goes on. and I'm downloading the PV of kodou. I know it's not like WAH VERY NICE or what, but I don't care. I'm simply collecting every single PV diru has. and I think this would complete the collection. unless machiavellism has one. it's supposed to have one.

oh and I went to the official site yesterday. there's some new video releases. and it includes some of their later PVs, as well as a special version of saku and kodou. sigh. downloading time again.

and very interestingly, they're releasing mazohyst of decadence too. yes daaarlings, that song from long ago. MoD was a song released on their first album, way back in 1999. so why are they releasing it again?

I think they've removed the black stuff.

basically they filmed it, or rather, they released it like the initial obscure PV. and the initial obscure PV was terrible, because they simply blacked out the entire screen except for a small square, and you can barely see anything through that small square. they did that because they censored the PV for tv viewing. so all the AHEM parts were blacked out, leaving only a particular 'safe' portion, which was in a square.

MoD was exactly the same. but they've never released the 'uncensored' version, so much so that fans have all concluded that the PV was MEANT to be like that. but it seems that they're releasing it, and perhaps the blacked out parts will be revealed...

and I should stop here. I suddenly don't like long long posts anymore. I insist that they must be of a minimum length to look decently long, but somehow I'm not for super long ones anymore. perhaps it's because of the layout. you can't see much per line, and the scrollbar is getting tinier and tinier. so I shall stop. see, just typing a few simple lines take up so much space. it's just mind boggling.

will post kodou's lyrics, the silly but cute story from ys's blog and an entry from my buddy's blog another day.

I'm tired. medication? perhaps. let's hope my voice comes back. fast. I miss singing. and I'm still due to go to kbox with meida and mae. damn.

you buy me love for my birthday @ 2050

11th June

be forewarned. VERY VERY LONG POST!!!!

must make up for 6 days. thereabout.

6th: woke up early. mother was slamming me out of the room soon. I forgot to check with her what time we had to be in church. and she was so scared that she'd be late and everything and she was screaming me out of the house and when I forgot to take my ez link card she screamed some more.

after all that screaming we got to church. and uncle bob was screaming next. because he was looking for the four of us. great. and little did we know that uncle bob's scream on monday was just the beginning of his screams at us...

and the bus came! we were like first ones out. and it jammed at tuas...we were bored, xinying was sleeping like a log and we were trying to sleep. and at the singapore checkpoint it was uber funny.

we were at the back of the queue, and then this busload of old folks joined up behind us. and then there was this old lady behind ulu who kept pushing and pushing and pushing. you know it was okay if all she did was to like look from the side or between us to see if the queue was moving or what, but NO. she was PUSHING. and ulu was like looking at us with that HELP ME! face...

we got through and we went on a LONG LONG LONG LONG LONG LONG journey up to genting. almost died. and the 8 course lunch sucked. oh well.

and we calculated. if we took the same amount of time to get home on thursday as the amount of time to get there on monday, and the buses leave at 1330 sharp on thursday, we'd get back to church at

MIDNIGHT!!!!!

we were so going to scream.

and we stopped over at yong peng too. and we were the last to get on the bus. and thus causing uncle bob to scream at us. oh and after the 8 course lunch ulu and I went to the toilet and thus we were late to board the bus and got screamed at AGAIN. we don't learn, do we?

checked in and all at awana and then went for dinner and blah blah and then sleep.

7th: woken up by morning call. went to bathe. very normal day, I would say. didn't enjoy peter chao very much. although he was like the main speaker and all. ah well. I guess the adults loved him though. I'd rather go back to EH and listen to chee hong or chien chong. overate for breakfast and lunch and very bad stomachache. dang.

had very very ridiculous team building games. got boring after a while. some teams were quite funny. randy's one was cute. with roselin and her sword. so funny.

and then we had free time so we went to play badminton. goodness we had to like climb 7 storeys to get to the badminton court. nearly died. and then later we went downstairs to play some archery. I don't know how yeow sheng survives. VERY PAIN!! oh well my arm ached after that. and I only did 10 arrows. and grace wanted to do 50 the next day! ulu and I were like no no no grace you can have them all...

then we had way more interesting albert to do daniel 2 and that was it for the night. or so we thought. we were waiting at the lobby lounge for jon and aileen and ivana to come up but they didn't. so sam went downstairs to see where they went. and then sam didn't come up either. thus ulu grace huien and I made a trip downstairs, only to find ourselves stuck in jacob's evaluation session.

it was fine really, just that joseph was being difficult again. jacob would NEVER win joseph in his arguments. joseph was like trying to find loophole after loophole and jacob couldn't cover them properly because he didn't really understand exactly what joseph was driving at. grace and I wanted to send ivana to answer his questions but ivana was like gah another day.

you know, we need the same frequency to answer HIS questions. the GEP student must be answered by the other GEP student. but actually I thought sam was pretty good already. better than jacob, that is.

some of the kiddies went to play pool while we got ivana into our room to play bridge. and ivana stayed the night in our room. don't know how those three girls fitted onto the same bed. must be because ulu is skinny.

8th: theme park day! but had to go through the usual first. and then after all the workshops and stuff like that, we had lunch. then we joined jacob to wait for the shuttle bus to the cable car station, but albert said that we'd just missed the shuttle, and that the next shuttle was going to take another hour to come. we wailed. and then jacob said that we could walk there. it was only 2 km away. so albert was like hey let's walk okay? not far.

so fine. the girls consented. it didn't seem bad anyway. 2 km mah. but here's where the problem began.

1. genting is full of what? slopes.
2. the guys didn't know where they were going
3. they didn't ask for a map
4. we were walking along the expressway
5. no wrong. along the highway.
6. and where were we? malaysia!!!!

oh my gosh they were all out to kill us. luckily for us, God sent a coach to stop for us. jacob stuck his thumb out and a coach actually stopped! woot! then the driver said that he was heading for the cable car station and said we could take a lift.

we scrambled onto the bus. and the bus was oh so comfortable. then we took the cable car! so fun! the artefacts thingies were stupid lah. but the cable car ride was really nice. grace was super scared because of the drops and the bumpy parts when we went under the pulleys.

and we reached the place. and the guys were useless. come let me list why.

1. moses and co. went the wrong way
2. marcus had to go get them
3. boys stopped when they saw joseph and theo
4. they kept asking if it was the right way
5. they were hesitant to follow us
6. they couldn't decide to go theme park or not
7. all they knew was, don't want shopping
8. they went back the earliest

gah useless. they didn't know WHERE to go, HOW to go, meant to WALK there along the HIGHWAY, and then didn't know if they should GO for the theme park and then in the end they just went a walking round the freaking place and went back. oh GREAT.

in the end just siew hua grace charite and I went to the theme park. denise and ulu went with xinying to go shoppin'.

and it was fun. we met aileen and bunch at the mine train. but we didn't have much time to play a lot. but even scared grace had fun. so not bad.

and we took the cable car down! and the cable car was stuck in a cloud! so nice!!! siew hua insisted that it was fog. like noooo... when we got out of the cloud she was like OH it really WAS a cloud!

yes my dear. a CLOUD.

and anyway I got back kinda just in time for worship practice and then I went down for dinner. and they told me that aileen and tricia weren't back yet. then they said charite wasn't back. oh by the way we passed charite to auntie mary. and she wasn't back. neither was joyce and justina.

then we found out that actually sam and jon were with them, but they left the girls behind. oh great. in the end they arrived back at 8 plus. grace was all ready to go on a full search for them. but they arrived back shortly after. later they told us that actually they couldn't find the place to get the shuttle bus back to awana, and then when they got there they still had to wait, so they were so late.

then it was more bridge time after that. but my stomach hurt again, and I slept early. apparently aileen went over to xinying's room and the bunch of them including the guys played bridge until 5 plus in the morning. crazy people. now you know why we shouldn't open a casino in singapore?

9th: last day! so we decided to eat all we could. so terrible. but we were kinda scared of tummy ache so we just decided to eat all that was really really really nice. thus we didn't eat so much. didn't have that bad an ache on the way back.

and then we stopped by yong peng again. the toilet was UGH. and really really UGH. there were cobwebs everywhere, and there was absolutely no toilet paper. and plus it really really really stank. you could smell the toilet. and candice was super amused by the notice in the toilet which said:

bloody stool?itchy anus? do you have PILES?

WAHAHA. and candice couldn't stop laughing about it. goodness. that girl ah.

and then ulu and I couldn't resist the waffle thingy and decided to buy it even though we were running late. and then of course here came uncle bob screaming again. well that was the last time he was screaming at us. I hope.

and we were still the first to reach church! yay! and we thought that we were the last because there was absolutely no soul left in the church building except some parents waiting for the sfers. and then we realised oooooh we're the first bus!

then took a taxi home with mother and then vicks called and then I went to sleep after bathing.

and I think I should stop here for now. yesterday's happenings is way too much to add on to this post. this post is already long enough. so let this be the genting post. and that's it.

phew. done.

you buy me love for my birthday @ 1206

5th June

my last words before I go!!! ahaha. like I'm going to die or something. well actually I don't really know what to say anymore. in fact there's really nothing to say. I'm done with all the layout announcements (refer to previous entry), and so...what else is there?

the fact that I've learnt how to sing qian nian zhi lian and can go sing it at kbox? or the very strange meeting I had with eewei? okay maybe I should elaborate on that.

it was odd because we DON'T meet in the day (today we strangely did), and we got stuck in the same building for the entire time. and she had to go off elsewhere and I went into the mrt station alone. which is all weird. because at night we would both have to head home. and the weather was freakingly hot so both of us seemed a little tired and bothered.

and we didn't talk much. as in talk talk. I think we messaged and had too many phone calls prior to this. so odd. need an agenda.

and I won't be seeing her for a long long time. so I intend to finish up my incredible saga of letters to her after the retreat and then send the entire lot to her.

oh and I realised that I was freaking stupid because the girl told me she's sending the vcd on friday and it'll arrive by tuesday. and the stupid part? there's nobody home on tuesday to collect it.

great. so I'd still end up going to post office to get it. all the way there. GREAT.

oh sister said she bought socks for moi. and she's bought toe socks. muahaha. gonna take like ages to wear those things. but I guess they'll be cute. and special!

honestly I have a few pairs which I've not worn before yet. including the one mother bought and norvin bought. sigh. and I foresee that after jc I will NOT wear shoes again, or at least I shall try. I'm thinking of throwing my shoes out after jc. but it's quite sad to do so really. but I really must. it looks a total disaster. oh well. it's gone through a lot. and many years at that. but it's still pretty to me...

oh and yesterday I watched madagascar finally! yeah we all love to move it move it. I think that's like the main thing that everyone learns from the movie. seriously. and it's neither a meerkat nor a racoon. it's a LEMUR!! goodness. so neither mae nor myself is correct after all. oh well. whatever.

and I stupidly forgot to bring the book for carissa!! we planned and finally got together actually just about the book! and I forgot to bring it. what a stupid asshole I am.

oh well. going off for 4 days! don't miss me too much, okay? check back sometime later.

did I say I had nothing to write? looks like I found stuff to write about after all.

you buy me love for my birthday @ 2241

3rd June

I really didn't mean to blog today. but after visiting yuting's blog...aiyah buay tahan. must write this.

thank you! thank you!

seldom people bother about my damn layouts which I churn like some freaking stupid machine. and you know actually I didn't like the picture on the left too much because kyo sama was wearing pink (like UGH). but his hairstyle was just too nice on him and all so I saved it. and I made him cry. there's no tearstain on the original picture.

and if miyavi cried, my dear ting ting will be flooding her room, screaming why oh WHY?! just like how I felt like crying when I saw toshiya cry. WAIL!!!! he's so bloody sentimental.

and since we're on LAYOUTS, I'll shall give you the overdose I meant to splash here something like on sunday.

I will be away, by the way, from next monday till thursday. so don't bother checking here. I can't teleport myself nor telepathy with the freaking computer. so all I can do (or rather, the least I can do) is to leave you with 2.5 layouts. yes 2.5.

please view the layouts below in 1024 x 768 or bigger. otherwise they'll be cut off and that'll lose the effect and look UGLY.

somehow somewhere in my memory/impression yuting doesn't like mana too much. but too bad. july will be daarling mana which looks like this.

july 2005 ice queen mana

and then after that will be dearest shinya, making a comeback after nearly a year with

august 2005 lolita shinya

actually the two layouts are the same lah. but the picture is DAMN nice. which moi is very very proud of.

and bringing to you, the final .5 of the day. it's duh-h the september layout PICTURE which is AHHHHH SO NICE!!! because it's...

september 2005 frozen toshiya

and that ends all that I want to say for now, because it's getting DAMN late, and DAMN hotter and I am going to watch madagascar TOMORROW MORNING!!!

yeah baby. you've got to

move it move it

woot.

you buy me love for my birthday @ 0026

1st June

okay let's get it straight. today is NOT the first of June. but I figured that if I was going to scribble on the 31st of may, nobody's going to read it! and I have oh so much to say today. and if I'm going to leave it on my may archives, which is totally inaccessible because I am way too lazy to fix it all up, then nobody can read it and then what's the point?!

alrighty. away with the dramatics. I guess I should start with sunday. yes yes I know there was a freaking entry on the 29th but it was so freakingly short. and you know what? I suddenly realised that the typing is not slow anymore! okay I take that back. it's slowing down now. shit. just now it was doing perfectly well. but it's still faster than my previous one...perhaps when there's too much words then it'll begin to lag...

ANYWAY. sunday. bought my phone, yeah? and daddy changed his as well. in fact daddy took SUCH a long time to decide (since I only wanted my 7270) that the guy attending to us actually changed shift! good heavens. we were like stuck there for the longest time ever. couldn't believe it. and the worst part was that daddy was asking to see weird phones which were either too advanced for anybody I knew to have, or they were just simply erm...useless? because they were mostly half pda phones. one was 3G. which IS useless, as of now. and in the end daddy picked the one he wanted in the first place. he was just trying out to rest. oh like wth.

and you know just now I googled my 7270, and I realised that it's selling online in the overseas markets for something like anything between 420-600 USD. which is like FREAKING EXPENSIVE LAH! mine was 400! but erm S$400. goodness why on EARTH does it cost so much elsewhere??

and then I went to check the WAY more popular model, the nokia 7260, you know, the horrid (oops) one with the S-shape like keypad? and guess what. it costs anything between 240-400 USD. which is like omg nearly half the price? and I really don't know why. let's go back to nokia.com and see why.

actually, I don't know why is there such a vast price difference. yeah there's a difference between the two, but I don't think that difference costs this much. really.

BESIDES THAT. that was basically my sunday. monday was terrible. first I had a horrendous nose. it ran OH SO faraway I couldn't get it back. I chased after it with so much tissue. should have brought the toilet roll after all. damn.

basically, one side of my nose was running, and the other side was stuck but leaking. and man was it bad. and it started to malfunction only after the paper started. khairah said I must have been allergic to the gp paper. perhaps.

and then I barely survived lit. and I crazily did drama. I guess there wasn't anything much else I could do after all. and thank goodness I wasn't the only one who found it horrible. I was screaming at vicky today about it. and my nose is STILL sucky.

and because of my stupid nose, I am still sniffling today. but despite the sniffling, I still went for kbox. the most amazing thing? through my sniffling and wheezing I can still sing. so amazing. seriously. and I still could hit the higher notes. not bad. I was thinking erm perhaps I shouldn't be so ambitious knowing that I have such a donald duck voice today...but okay leh. and it was FOC! because meida had some coupon.

but then ended the day with tuition. the nose struck back. even the other girl was like asking me if I were alright. I must have sounded really horrid when I blew my nose. and I guess it didn't help that I did that a lot of times throughout the entire lesson.

and thus due to the dire condition of my NOSE, I decided to run a call to daarling avril and tell her that I can't watch the movie with her tomorrow. I told her that I didn't want her to realise that I'd disappeared after the show under Bukit Tissue. that prospect didn't sound good at all. thus I told her oh well unless you can get my nose back from madagascar, no I can't watch it tomorrow. I really want to see her but my nose doesn't allow it. damn you, nose! no better not say that. nono nose you didn't hear that!

but I really hope my nose gets better tomorrow. I can endure all coughs, phlegm attacks, headaches, stomachaches, sore throats and even ear infections.

but I cannot bear a running nose!!!!!!!

or worse, a stuck one!!!!

and because it cannot decide on whether to run or not, it just decides to do them both. in fact because I was singing earlier today, I used my mouth to breathe, right? and therefore my nose decided to happily go on STRIKE and both nostrils were utterly blocked! HOW ANNOYING! I couldn't believe it. but after I kept my mouth shut for a while the nose had no choice but to open up otherwise I'd have died at kbox tampines.

and I downloaded more chinese songs. heh. and I'm listening to FIR's qian nian zhi lian (love of a thousand years). and you know what it sounds like?! the arrangement, that is. something all MEP students love to hear for the foreign music section.

GAMELAN.

I can't believe it. these people...really...after trying chinese erhu in revolution they must try gamelan is it?! but quite nice. the song is typically chinese pop but ah wth. I like it that way.

oh and the light in my study room fused. and it fused with a BOOM. literally. I was scared out of my wits. I just got into this state of shock and couldn't do anything. and now I'm half encased in darkness, with just daddy's lamp glimmering in the distance. and I don't know how long I can take this. I'm trying to take it for another 45-60 minutes more, because my downloads will be finished by then, provided it doesn't slow down too much and it doesn't STOP.

or perhaps I shall just try to stall for time by getting the lyrics of this (get this) stefanie sun song. yeah yeah she's penetrated my computer! so what's next, 5566?? ahaha nahh. that would NOT happen. trust me. just 1 stefanie song and 2 jay songs wouldn't kill anyone. in fact it is terribly pathetic, given the amount these two kids have released. and given how many hits they've haf. but do I care? nah. who does? oh plenty. enough to make myself negligible.

(same kind ~ stefanie sun
the city after the rain
lonely and ashamed
the seat by the road
who is it waiting for

I tried to delay time
but it ignores me
is there anybody else
who wants consoling like me

the wind stopped then it blew again
I suddenly thought of someone
tge sky brightened up then darkened again
I've gone through many years
my heart warmed and then fell once more
the world
sometimes it's so lonely I need another of
the same type
my love was taken back and given again
we're not very perfect
dreams dreamt then shattered
how many chances do we have
for all our pursuits

don't know why love is so rare and dear

clouds midway in the sky cut up by the breeze
memories may be beautiful, but they're flying
away, aren't they)

quite a nice song. like duh. otherwise why else should I be listening to it?! I'm sorry if the chinese text looks rather shitty, but then the translation should make up for it. and those who know the song wouldn't even need it.

well it ain't no stalker song but HEY I don't like only stalker songs! although the one by aqualung was pretty nice. and really stalker. cool. although the real true blue stalker song has to be every breath you take by sting. and it's meant to be a stalker song, by the way. it's written about one. whether he was THE one I don't know...

but I guess...I should give VIO a very warm welcome. welcome to where? welcome to the collection of unhealthy obsessions, which houses everything from safety pins to avril, kyo to, well, VIO.

welcome. (rolls out the red carpet)

okay that was LAME. but ah well. and my download is NOT going to finish today because my mahssew no besto hito teebi suddenly started and disrupted the previous connection, causing the earlier connection to decline rapidly from 10kbps to 4kbps. which is freaking sad. it was seriously due to finish downloading in like less than half an hour's time. now it's due in an hour.

I'm not upset that my matthew's best hit TV decided to download. of course not. but WHY DID IT HAVE TO SHARE WITH MY OTHER ONE?!! argh. and matthew is easier to find than the other one. which is why I'm so uptight about it. it's jumped from 0% to 86% just today. and I hoped it could jump all the way to 100%.

I shall sleep now. and leave it for daddy. perhaps it might finish. I hope only. matthew completed a lot yesterday when I did that. yes that I shall do.

and I'm still sorry avril. I'm more sorry to myself than to you, though.

you buy me love for my birthday @ 2331

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WAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! some of it is true lah, but some of it is absolutely hilarious!! woot! for stupid quizzes!

and had a fun time in the morning. me crys wk norv meida sat at the atrium waiting for math to start. then norv spotted clarence walking toward the side gate and called out to him. and man did we have a GOOD laugh. and now we know! if norv irritates you, just get your finger to do the avenging! POKE HIM! he's scared of TICKLES! and so is clarence!!!

goodness those two are LITTLE KIDS with each other. but great entertainment for the girls anyway. and then we tried to make norvin NOT talk, just for mere 2 minutes, but we commented so much about his hair that he couldn't take it anymore and opened his mouth! wahahaha. poor thing.

and now it's time to move it move it to bed!! I want to watch madagascar! let's hope that I'm a good enough girl for mother to let me out of the house on saturday!

oh and I'm so upset. I thought there was going to be lit 4 today. then crys pointed out that I read the damn message wrongly. we're seeing vio on the EIGHTH, not today. WAHHHHHHH! 8th I'm not in singapore! wail. and double wail. looks like monday WAS the last day I'd see him before the holidays I guess. the nice grey shirt.

GAH STOP IT.

you buy me love for my birthday @ 0028