October 2005

erm...happy halloween tomorrow? actually it's already tomorrow. like whatever. last entry of the month. usually I don't do this, but then again, now that I put up partial archives on the top there, I think it's alright. the problem is, I'm trying to move my site while it's still in pieces. yeah I haven't picked them all up yet. they keep falling. and yes yuting the lousy adverts are ruining my blog's aesthetics. but I can't do anything about it now. I'll move again, really. it's just that I know people who bother about my silly space online wasting traffic and so I must keep this damn thing going and make sure it appears somewhere.

not really actually. I think it's more self indulgent than anything else. if I insisted on having a blog because people want to read, then I could just stick to my blogspot or something like that and then the blog would be there all the time, and I don't even have to worry about a main site and crap like that. but because I have chosen to make my uploading life easier by pushing everything onto one server (which geocities conveniently gave up on me), and I decided that I love making stupid layouts which use html codes which are NOT supported by blogspot and gang, I have ended up like this.

but at the very least I don't have to grapple with photobucket nor put up with annoyances like livejournal. I made an account there, by the way, because I meant to join the jrock_scans community. actually jrock fans should really join that place because it has hordes of beautiful scans, and most of them are really big, and really good quality. of course, if you're lazy you can ask for some from me...ahaha. although really if I had a powerful scanner (sorry mizu your scanner is just...oh well), I'll scan the entire kyo poetry book in for everybody. I know people who would appreciate that. =)

besides that. sorry for the incredible rant. I'm not quite myself today. I'm a little high, terribly tired. perhaps the combination is disastrous. I've gone on another kagerou craze, this time not only on daisuke, but also on kazu. yuana looks like a doll gone a little awry, so I shan't bother about him, and shizumi is...never mind. I think somehow hitsugi from nightmare is more stylish than him. shizumi's pretty extra, somehow. perhaps the boy boy daisuke, the dollish yuana and the sharp faced kazu proves too much of visual appeal for shizumi to stand out at all.

and actually I meant to just like stash some lyrics here and get off. but nooo....I chose to download ANOTHER kagerou PV and thus I have to wait a while more. it tells me that it'll be done in 15 minutes or so, so that means about another 20 minutes more and the PV will be done. and I can afford that, because it's only 0016 now. well YES I slept at unearthly hour of 0240h last night and awoke at 0830h, but I still can make it. just that I have to sleep a little earlier tonight. but 0100 is alright. now that I can use ftp (I love that thing man) for topcities, I don't have to haggle with stupid geocities and their lousy 5 file upload which doesn't always work.

so, the lyrics eh? well I was listening to Penny Dai's Cinderella. last time sammi cheng released a Midnight Cinderella, but that was...well it was something about an evil woman, really. or rather, I prefer the cantonese version, which was about being careful of women, and not underestimate them or belittle them. sounds kinda feminist but what the heck. but penny's cinderella is really about cinderella. I guess it doesn't strike any chords within me but I like the song and the lyrics are...well for the sake of the song. I love being a publicity idiot.

(Penny Dai - Cinderella

she has no glass shoes, no lavish clothes, no clock chime
no perfume, no elegant makeup, and her name is cinderella
reticent, unable to fake ignorance, allows others to call her an ugly duckling
the seasons change, but her heart continues to be conservative

cinderella's tears -- are they not valuble today?
cinderella's hurt -- does it not require consoling?

no high heels, no bareback dresses, never received flowers before
no long hair, no painted nail, and her name is cinderella
prince, white horse, reality, myth, dream, conscious -- they all don't belong to her
this life of hers has been cruel -- while she awaits a miracle like pandora's

cinderella's tears -- were they more valuble then?
cinderella's hurt -- needs consoling even more urgently
cinderella)

right. and while my file continues its downloading, I shall go make another screencaps page! and this time they all work! the miyavi one takes a million years to load because the pictures I took were too big. so now I've learnt to make the damn screencap smaller! of course, the miyavi one was of such high quality really...basically I'm making a page for the screencaps of kagerou's shiroi karasu PV, and I only took the parts with kagerou appearing. the girl looks kinda like the girl in kodou, but I shan't go bother about that. she belongs to a story which doesn't bother kagerou, and that's about all I care for. when my download is done, I'll watch it and see if I want to cap it. I just think capping is awfully fun. so there.

so look out for the screencaps links above! gosh it's getting really cluttered up there, isn't it? after the lousy a levels I'll clear up that place. and I'll get a better place. really. I WILL.

I want to keep you safe @ 0032

10.25

right. been away for 4 days. thereabout. I don't really feel like blogging today, really. just that I thought I'd update a little on some things.

no there's actually nothing to update. it's just that I've downloaded a host of new things. and then I've gone on a kangta frenzy once more. and I think that chinese drama he acted in is superbly korean drama. it's overly dramatic. damn the summary cannot load. when it does I'll paste it here.

anyway I should go pretty soon. although I turned the freaking computer on in hope of completing my essay, I didn't. I did the outline though. so perhaps things may move a little faster tomorrow. actually, I need it to move faster tomorrow. that's more like it.

and I've got more power mp3s for yuting. ahaha. actually I think I have more power videos. oh and the video that came with the miyavi album miyavism has a name. it's called Densetsu no Catharsis-miyavi-. so cheem, yeah? densetsu is something like "he says", so it's like a talk of his catharsis. or whatever. gah. the cathartic release of whatever he talked about. which wasn't really anything important, or personal. I think.

and the damn ARE YOU READY TO ROCK? pv is as jumpy as the kekkonshiki no uta's pv. sigh. I think it's from the same person. but at least this time her scans are better. smaller, but better. the kekkonshiki no uta scans were horrid. which is quite sad actually, because one of them was contending for a space on 2006 layouts. but it has lost very sadly to my screen cap of that cathartic video.

oh and it has been confirmed. somebody has a sister...I shall bomb him on thursday.

CAST:
Alec Su - as Wu Jun An
Ruby Lin - as Lin Xiao Mei
Kang Ta - as Jin Xiu
Niu Ming Ming - as Pu Yu La
Kou Zhen Hai - as Cai Fei Hong
Tang Yi Fei - as Zheng Ya Nan
Yan Kun - as Liu Cheng
Yuan Wen Kang - as Wu Qi An

note: If anyone wants to take this outside the forums, please provide proper credits. Thanks. =)

On the streets of a bustling city standing in front of a symbolic building, China's most reputable magician in the realm of magic - Master Cai Fei Hong (Kou Zhen Hai) - is preparing a magic show here that will enthrall and stun the world: to make a building disappear in front of the audience's eyes. His daughter, Lin Xiao Mei (Ruby Lin), and beloved disciple, Wu Jun An (Alec Su) as the assistants of his performance are also preparing for this spectacular event with anxiousness. Almost everyone is looking forward to this special moment and anticipating a miracle to happen.

However, on the other hand, in a room located in a respectable office building, someone is enraged at all of this. His face - handsome and chiselled - has been distorted by his fury. This person is the prince of the world of magic, Jin Xiu (Kang Ta). Pointing at the image of Cai Fei Hong on television, he cried out that Cai Feng Hong has stolen his magic trick idea.

20 years ago, Cai Fei Hong is not as famous as he is now. Him and his magic act partner, Lin Shu Yi, brought along Shu Yi's little daughter, Lin Xiao Mei, and they were wandering magicians. They earned a living by performing magic acts at all kinds of run-down entertainment clubs in a small city. But due to the pressure of poverty, the two men finally decided to take the risk to study a kind of magic that is very dangerous. Even though both of them tried their best to take the necessary precautions, a mishap still happened. Lin Shu Yi died in a fire. Helpless, without any way to stop this, Cai Fei Hong took Lin Xiao Mei with him and began a new life.

20 years later, Cai Fei Hong has become China's top magician that is of national treasure calibre. He opened a magic entertainment club called Clover. Xiao Mei, as his daughter, has also become one of the reputable magicians at his club.

Clover Magic Entertainment Club is a coffee shop situated on a bustling street. Inside is filled with an enchanting atmosphere. Here, people can experience the fanciful imaginations that magic can offer.

At the entertainment club, there is also a top-class magician named Jin Xiu. He is a gifted magician. He is young and handsome as well as charming. In addition, during his magic shows, he unveils his talents at performing magic in novel and refreshing ways. This leads him to possess a special attractiveness to the young ladies in the audience. Lin Xiao Mei is also captured by his special appeal. All along, she has been deeply in love with him.

Wu Jun An, who comes from a poor fishing village, is on one hand preparing for the political science and law university's examination; on the other hand, he is helping out as a temporary take-out runner at the restaurant at which he is current residing. One day, as he was routinely delivering take-out, he almost got hit by the car that Jin Xiu and Lin Xiao Mei were in. And it was during this frenzy that Xiao Mei and Jun An met for the first time. A special kind of feeling was born in these two's hearts. But to Jin Xiu, this person who suddenly appeared is filled with animosity. This is the first time that these three individuals crossed paths.

In order to change the current declining bustle when it comes to magic, the boss of Clover Entertainment Club, Cai Fei Hong, drafted up a plan to put together a new and fascinating magic performance - the chance to let you become a millionnaire - to attract viewers. To get ready for this, a take-out box filled with cash was prepared to be used as an important prop for the magic show. On the day of the performance, when the entertainment club's crew was busily preparing for the show, Jun An came to take back the bowls and chopsticks from last time's take-out. Without anyone noticing, Jun An mistakenly thought that the take-out box used as the magic act's prop is the take-out box from his restaurant, so he took that back with him.

After returning to the restaurant, Jun An finally realized that he had taken the wrong box and was shocked beyond belief to discover the contents to be $50,000 RMB. This is the starting point of his ultimate destiny with Clover Magic Entertainment Club and him entering the world of magic.

On the other hand, because of Jun An taking away the take-out box prop, Jin Xiu and Xiao Mei's performance that night suffered utter failure. The audience was angry and proceeded to destroy the entertainment club. Staring at his beloved club being destroyed in this fashion, and the magic world that he himself has steadily built through trials and tribulations no longer being trusted and respected, Jin Xiu felt a deep sense of rage and helplessness. He despised the thief that had stolen the prop.

Even though Jun An had spent the money inside the take-out box, his conscience could not escape him and finally, he came to the entertainment club and admitted his wrongs to Cai Fei Hong. He also asked to be allowed to learn magic tricks at the club to rectify the wrongs that he had committed. Cai Fei Hong came up with a test and Jun An passed it. Hence, Cai Fei Hong accepted Jun An as a disciple.

However, at the entertainment club, Jun An and Jin Xiu continuously faced each other in a hostile manner because of their initial brush of animosity.

Pu Yu La (Niu Ming Ming) is the rich daughter of a famous brand name clothing line's entrepreneur. Since she was little, she has been spoiled and treated like a princess. When she was watching magic shows performed by Jin Xiu, she was captured by his good looks and magic skills, and fell deeply in love with him. In order for her to be with Jin Xiu all the time, she used her powers and without care for her father's opposition, hired Jin Xiu as a spokesperson for her own clothing company.

Jin Xiu wholeheartedly wanted to develop Clover Entertainment Club, especially since last time's performance failure dealt a serious blow to the club. He accepted Yu La's invitation to be a spokesperson and slowly started to hang out with Yu La.

Xiao Mei was very hurt to see this kind of relationship between Jin Xiu and Yu La. Even though Jin Xiu comforted her by telling her that everything he was doing was for the sake of Clover Entertainment Club, Xiao Mei was still very upset. Seeing Xiao Mei looking like this, Jun An took pity on her.

To raise the club's standards and take it to a higher level, Cai Fei Hong planned a seaside training session for all the magicians of the club. All the magicians trained hard. Yu La also followed Jin Xiu to the seaside. While Yu La and Jin Xiu were taking a stroll, they unexpectedly bumped into Xiao Mei and Jun An. Because of Jin An's protection, Yu La put up an arrogant and smug front, which added to Xiao Mei's pain and caused her to be completely heartbroken. Jun An felt sorry for Xiao Mei and continuously comforted her at her side.

At the conclusion of the trip to the island, Fei Hong finally saw Jin Xiu's true evil nature. Not long after, he kicked him out of the club. This enraged Jin Xiu, who then headed straight towards Yu La. But Yu La, who had an extreme desire of possessiveness, felt that it became meaningless after having captured Jin Xiu's love. So, she wanted to win Jun An's love. However, this did not turn out well and she detested Jun An and the club as a result. She wanted to destroy the club at all costs. She even found a witness to testify that Shu Yi (Xiao Mei's real father) was killed by Fei Hong. How would fate treat Fei Hong?

At the same time, Jun An constantly comforted the heartbroken Xiao Mei. Their feelings towards each other increased as they spent time together day and night. However, just when they were both helping each other along through this whirlwind and their feelings for one another were becoming stable, they discovered that they could possibly be biological siblings. What does destiny have in mind for the two of them?

Will the magic act of making a building disappear succeed? Fei Hong, who has experienced attacks time and again along with his deteriorating health, could he still hang on?

Yu La and Jin Xiu resorted to all means to gain acquisition of the entertainment club and it looked as if this was about to happen, would they succeed?

Within the world of magic, how would one act out this love story that is filled with sorrow and beauty, enchantment, twists and turns, and mysteriousness?

I'd better sleep. otherwise I'll be late. confirm. and I must find a day next week to get my hair shorn. I've up to next friday. sheesh. I might as well do it myself.

oh and maril, I'll reburn it for ya. tracks have been tested. must disturb him on thursday. haha.

hell. since the summary won't work, I'll just leave a beautiful picture of kangta behind then. haha. I'm quite insistent about it, no?

wee I've been away for so long! can't believe it. what the heck did I do man? well let's see. I didn't do anything on tuesday. and I only had math tuition on wednesday. hmmm that's two days woohoo gone. and then thursday I suddenly had a packed day with gp in the morning, lit lecture in the afternoon and econs tuition at night.

okay we'll start with the packed day then. tuesday and wednesday were just...well negligible, I suppose. thursday. went to school for gp. well I was late, but guess what? clarence was later. yay. and some idiots took the classroom we were supposed to be in, so we got stuck at the e2-6 wooden bench. and then later we were chased out again, so we got stuck at that bench again. oh and the first person I saw when I stepped into school was...

yay. and then ANYWAY...I called meida after the tutorial, asking her to get her ass out of the house like NOW otherwise she'd be late. but I didn't intend to join meida and mae for consultation, and stupid marilyn refused to get her butt down to school earlier because she wanted her lunch. right. but anyway I found weiying and shaline and then later I had lunch with weiying. at least she doesn't bring snowy for lunch.

and of course we had double bill lecture. ms k and mr wee. and boy was it DOUBLE bill. ah people who went will understand what I mean. and maril whispered to me, "if we change lt, we get a seat in front, okay?" I was thinking oh HOW the heck she could read my mind. then I replied with a "duh, that was like a redundant statement". ahaha.

and then later I went for dinner with meida and mae at white sands. and mae ordered that thunder tea rice! GOSH it looked disgusting! the thunder tea mixture looked absolutely like....eeew.....it looked like bile to me. absolutely. but then right, for the MOST accurate parallel, please refer to the dir en grey's obscure PV. that mucky green thing those weirdo geishas were mixing around on the floor looked EXACTLY like it, except with less bubbles.

gah it was horrible. and then we went for econs tuition and I forgot to pass jo her money. crap. so I must hold on to it for another week.

speaking of "on to". I read the preface for 1984 the other day, and it seems that orwell had this little obsession about the word "onto". or rather, he was pretty particular about the context in which it is spelt as one word, and when it is not. which was pretty cool to think about. it's true that there IS a difference in meaning depending on the form of the word, but I guess it's how particular you want to be about it.

that was sidetrack. back ON TRACK. nono sidetrack some more. I have an urge to buy oryx and crake. yeah margaret atwood. it sounds REALLY cool. it's a little handmaid's tale, but I think it's less scary and more like ourselves today. at least jimmy plays violent video games. ahaha. oops. suddenly thought of joanne.

anyway...after tuition I went home with fel. yet another intellectual conversation. ahahaha. I made it intellectual, okay?! no lah. I can't really remember how we even got there. we were just talking, then suddenly she asked me (and I can't remember the damn link) if I thought I was a good person. and I just looked back at her and said that all Christians believe that we're sinners, and that we can't do good inherently. and then the whole thing started. and it's not the first time. but poor girl had bad experiences in church. and it's beginning to sound very today's gospel. it's a book angie went through with me about the wrong ways some people share the gospel. the craziest part? the book was written in the 1970s, and it applies till today. the felle had some premonitions or something.

and then TODAY. today! so exciting! well the thing is, the other night avril was online, and I talked to her. then she said that she'd be home on friday, because there wasn't lab this week. then at that time of the week, I hadn't changed my tuition to wednesday yet, so I told her that I'd be around there in the morning, and asked her out for lunch.

and so TODAY, YES we DID have lunch! woot! you know somehow I feel like I haven't seen her for like years, and then today we suddenly talk again. the last time I saw her was opening ceremony, and you know what? I can't remember which month opening ceremony was anymore. not at all.

and anyway I'm just so happy today that I saw vril. she's still exactly the same, just with a little improved chinese (oh that sounded wrong) and I think she snipped her fringe again. which is really wrong too. but I guess serena insisted. ahaha. or perhaps her mum insisted again. but anyway good luck to the girl on a mountain among the shaolin people whose exams are coming. oh and get your daily dose of chrysanthemum tea (yeah some nut hostelmate of hers brews it daily) and don't forget the porridge next door!!! ahahaha that was like the FUNNIEST thing I'd heard man.

after that I went to meet lydia and angela at school for contact work. so significant huh, last year at open house I was also with avril, and lydia and angie also came. this year once more. but slightly different context. actually it's completely different.

what the shit. anyway...need to watch moonchild soon! I don't know what for, but I feel like it. and so does sister. problem is, daddy is watching tv...

sorry maril! reply your mail soon! and I want to cut my hair next week! but I must check with xinying first. maril you have any more vouchers? my friend wants to cut too! hee.

OOOOOOOHHHH I fixed my bittorrent! it's actually my stupid firewall's fault. chey. but it's working again and OOOOOHHHHH making of freedom fighters is DONE! YAY! *rushes off *

right. I'm back. without a vengeance. I realised that I have a lot of things to do. and I realised that I can't talk to maril on the phone or msn properly. I think a face to face is so much better. okay that sounded funny.

anyway, I'm terribly proud of myself. YES this IS going to sound bloody SELF INDULGENT (meida would know what I refer to) but I'll say it anyway. I finished the full The Handmaid's Tale on friday night. terribly proud of myself. I don't really know exactly why I did that either. I finished the little bit of 1984 I hadn't completed the last round (gosh that book takes AGES) and then I thought let's read THMT and before you know it, voila! the book's done! like whatever right? *eyeballs rolling away...*

and besides that...talked to my buddy for a long time last night. and it was pretty good. wrote her another letter today. so buddy, that's 11 pages.

speaking of buddy. she took my entry again! ahaha. sometimes I get pretty proud of myself, that my buddy takes my entries. ahaha. so silly right?! but I knew shoukyo to sakujyo would strike something within my buddy...I simply knew it. well it struck something in me as well. which was why I bothered putting it up. okay not every single time I put lyrics up means it hit some spot of mine. sometimes it's for awareness and excitement, like why I put hyde's countdown (just to let the world know he's released yet another single), and sometimes because I like the song. and usually I like the song more than the lyrics. but anyway I put shoukyo to sakujyo down because it's one of the VERY VERY few miyavi songs which make any proper sense! and it's actually so angsty! *poses the existential angst pose*

okay I'm getting kinda nonsensical today. it's not possible for me to be 'angsty' today. really. well, you see. I had a good nap, I had ice cream for dessert, I saw vio/ebb/ihf, I talked to maril over the phone (again), I am talking to avril over msn (again), and I am listening to a superb song! the only irritating thing is that my btt is NOT moving. and I think that it's partly because I updated my btt and I must restart my computer for it to work. which is crap, because I'm not doing that.

and talking about downloading, I think it's time to sort out my mp3s and start to burn them out of the computer. some day my comp will die, and I don't want it to die with a vengeance, that is, taking all my stuff with it. and I must repair my archives too, otherwise my blog will die with the computer. oh neo...

but I finished downloading mazohyst of decadence PV! I'm so sorry to those who've made it this far down the entry to see jrock again. but that PV is...well at least the stuff they 'censored' isn't as bad as obscure. the dumbass part? I saw obscure uncensored before the censored one. at least MoD wasn't so bad. and actually I like the part where they film the entire flock of birds taking flight. like woo hoo the birds just take off together and fill the sky. should take screencaps again, no?

and half my caps are not appearing on lousy geocities! I think I should go get my ftp back and load it on topcities instead. lousy geocities just can't make it. simply cannot. haiz. must run to topcities to save my stuff.

and my miyavi single completed its download too! and sister commented that the kekkonshiki no uta sounds like some bump of chicken pattern. I don't know whether that's meant to be a compliment or an insult, because that particular pattern she's talking about is the super messy rubbishy pattern. but anyway it's cool, and the c/w is fun too. although he purposely sings in this weird raspy voice, the song is simply miyavi-ish. which is good. after the sorta disappointing miyavism, the old jang jang miyavi coming back is a wonderful sign. but actually I've found a few nice songs in miyavism, so it isn't that bad after all. but the style took a little twist, which deviated from miya, so I didn't really fancy the idea at first. but the songs I talk about are nice anyway. oh and the pop is dead c/w is sweet too. it's another itoshii hito (which I simply adore) but a little faster. it's the same accoustic feel as shoukyo to sakujyo. and here's a picture that came with the single download!

oh and speaking of shoukyo to sakujyo AGAIN, I'm still so impressed by the yadee gekokujyo performance! yeah it's the one with the double screen. I'd watched the ashita, genki ni naare part of the same concert, and man was it cute. but this time he performed shoukyo to sakujyo with the miyavi in the screen and it was perfectly timed. goodness knows how many rehearsals he'd gone through to get it all straight like this.

oh neo it's getting late. it's really late. time to sleep. before I do that, I'll post another set of lyrics. it's the english version of Secret Letters by hyde. he released this on his first album, roentgen. and somehow or another, it reminded me of count cain. the time when he promised merry that he'd return, he'd come back and be the best brother to her he'd ever be, and said farewell to her as she took the train home, and he never came back.

and yet another part makes me think of 1984. the part where sorrow seals our lips, horror stalks our sleep, but his heart runs out of the room into the town, running freely. sounds so golden country.

In the courtyard birds singing
Through the window bells ringing
Oh so tall and wide, these confining walls
I look upon the world below

Sorrow seals our lips tightly
Horror stalks our sleep nightly
But my heart escapes from this attic room
I'm running freely through the town

I remember, remember you
I remember, still close to you
No need to fear the distance here

Peace is shattered by oppression
Tainted oil meets rejection
Yes and just in case I should soon return
My secret letters I will leave

I remember, remember you
I remember, still close to you
No need to fear the distance here

Boarding the train I take in one last look
I'll keep these memories with me forever

I remember, remember you
I remember, still close to you
No need to fear the distance here

oh. I swear, offred's actual name is JUNE. everyone else mentioned in front is mentioned later. all. alma, janine, dolores, moira. except june. her lah!

welcome to the blue world. I hope this colour can be seen on my blog. yes my dears, it IS the FIFTEENTH of OCTOBER. FIFTEENTH.

forget the love meridian day. forget the open house. forget them. today, I officially declare october 15th

12am today, I called her. well strangely enough it was her idea for me to call her. I was about to go offline and all for sister and she said that I could call her after 11. which is really weird because firstly, she doesn't ask me to call her. next, it's terribly late. and...it's just wrong.

avril says:
u can call me after 11
avril says:
hahaha
avril says:
when they all go slp
--------------------------------------------------------

[46157] h-e-a-r-t-s-t-a-b-b-e-r says:
eh wad time u slping
avril says:
not so early
avril says:
y??
[46157] h-e-a-r-t-s-t-a-b-b-e-r says:
can i call
avril says:
now?
[46157] h-e-a-r-t-s-t-a-b-b-e-r says:
later
avril says:
can
[46157] h-e-a-r-t-s-t-a-b-b-e-r says:
must fe uniform
avril says:
u tell me first
[46157] h-e-a-r-t-s-t-a-b-b-e-r says:
coz sister wants to use comp
avril says:
i stand by e phone
[46157] h-e-a-r-t-s-t-a-b-b-e-r says:
then cannot talk online

talk about shocking. I was shocked. she was actually in the mood to entertain me. which was really really weird and all. so strange. but never mind. I really called her in the end, and we talked and talked and talked until like OH MY GOSH it was 3AM in the morning, then she was moaning about not being able to wake up tomorrow, and how we ought to have an agenda for our conversations. then I thought about those days when eewei and I would call each other and we would come up with an agenda too. but I was like telling vril, but agendas don't work, because there's this last section called AOB, which basically encompasses everything else we sidetrack to. heh. no use. and for proving that agendas don't work, we ended up hanging up at 0330 instead. hehheh. terrors right. after that I was like gosh I am like so awake and how am I going to sleep like this?? then I yawned. so dumb right. really man...

then woke up this morning, so terrible. because I could barely wake up and my eyes hurt SO MUCH from sleeping so little and sleeping so late. then in the morning I was feeling so sick. I just felt like puking and everything. like GOSH I was some walking zombie. then ran into kurt. heh. khairiah didn't come. so wasted. then she could have conveyed her true thoughts to him personally. heh. then hani ran through the drama performance and we were like free until 1445. so since it was merely 11 plus, I messaged avril and went to meet her. initially I smsed her to ask where she was. then I remembered her last location was the canteen, so I thought perhaps I'd go look there since I needed a drink. then I asked christine where she was and she was like erm went home?? then I received that girl's message that she was at the staff room. like finally I went to see her. because earlier before running to the canteen I said hello to maril outside the lt and she was like avril's looking for you...and I was like yeah I'm looking for her too. she gave this OH MAN face and I was like heh. yeah so what if we have handphones today right. like quite useless. still having a little wild goose chase right. jia lat.

so I went to meet her, and then we were like laughing because they were playing all the stupid mass dance songs. then vril was like moaning because she was hungry and poor (gosh so pitiful sounding...yeah right) and so we went to get my coupons to buy her something, since she had simply donated her copy to her class or something. then we were like thinking where to go so as to avoid the noise, people and heat. we ended up at her 'favourite' spot man. the study bench at the end of the E4 corridor. heh. it's like her classroom is e4-3 and we go to that corridor's study bench. ah it was fun talking there. then we were like moaning about their lousy songs, her leaking testtube gift from rosalind lim and then they played somewhere I belong!! like finally something decent. goodness me. then before we left to pick lydia and ailing up they played my happy ending. heh. then I was like lavigne's image is like...gone. and gosh it started avril moaning about how she's getting in touch with her feminine side and all. honestly I don't think that's a bad thing, but unfortunately for lavigne, that wasn't her original image. she stuck out BECAUSE she was so punk and daring and all. but now she's becoming more and more mainstream and more public it has become like wrong. oh well TOO BAD.

then went to pick ailing and lydia at the main gate. they didn't tell me that caroline cheng pei and hui yi were with them. gave me a shock. anyways avril had agreed to eat dinner with me because I told mother that I wasn't going home for dinner. heh. so I decided to bring them around and vril was like you come and look for me later lah. and I agreed. so after about an hour or so (I think) the two of them left to do contact work and I went looking for avril. this time she was at the bench at the C4 corridor. and she was stoning. I walked up so fast, when actually I only had 8 minutes to spare with her. I had to report soon to lt3. then later she went down with me anyway. so we got it started. so lame man the story. but vril already knew it and she knew how cheesy it was. I mean like yeah. it's a superb combination of all the different sorts of dramas put together. and somehow all our perfomances of that script turned out different each time. somehow there was a difference in all of them. from the rehearsals to the performance itself. but who cares. then after that we had another hour before the next one. so we went to rot at the bench behind lt3. yeah we rotted there for nearly an hour and then I was like hUnGry...and so we proceeded to the canteen and bought my dearest apple crumble. they didn't have it earlier. heh. then we were about to go straight into lt3 when I spotted yenn weii. or she spotted me. ah either way. then we were like talking and then yuhan and shujing came along and we nearly talked past the time. so finally vril and I went for the final performance for the day.

so yay 5 pm, trace and I thought great it's over, pack and go. vril was like yay finally. then maril dropped like the biggest bomb in the world because we could only go off at 1830 even though it was 1700...there was like pure irritation on our faces. but since now vril and I had yet another hour to stone, we decided to really stone. we were like looking through the stupid 8 days (can you imagine we were THAT bored) and laughing about the new bu shuang drink because I was suddenly pmsing and she was like wah now you buay song me ahhh...and we just cracked up about the bu shuang drink. so dumb man. but nice. I think the can design is cool. and she agrees! yayayay...you know she was telling me about how her gang like asks her why in the world she keeps hanging out and talking to me. and she is like how in the world to answer??? I mean for her although it's her gang and it's her clique and all, somehow she doesn't fit exactly. like darn one more outcast from el? not really. she fits with her gang much much more than mae maril and I. she was like grumbling a little about yeah they're fun and crap and lame and everything that cliques do and they're like a secure bunch, you know that sort that comes together for any form of group work kind of bunch, but somehow the wavelength still doesn't meet properly. and I was somehow like laughing to myself. why? because at least I know this entire me and avril affair isn't that one-sided after all. heh. sounds like wrong. but it has always sounded wrong anyway.

okay back to my account. gosh stop sidetracking. and stop smirking. yeah at least you know avril loves you too can? goodness. like no wonder vril calls me deprived kid right. nono it's the funny little friend. heh. like so primary school. ahahaha. then it was 10 to six and vril and I thought of walking through all the stalls one last time, then we got stuck at lt1 and then it was six and we reported back to maril. then we were like moving hell lot of things and trying to wait fairly patiently for the beautiful phrase you are dismissed. I made avril like wait the entire day for me already. and I was like trying to hurry. I mean both of us needed to eat (since we like went without lunch) and wanted to watch the results of singapore idol. yeah jerry's finally out. like thank goodness. and so when we could go and I could like spend even MORE time with that girl, I was like YAYAYAYAY and I hugged maril. heh. like superbly excited. haha.

took the 81 to tampines and then we were like stuck, didn't know what to eat, didn't want to run into chemistry department and didn't want to eat too expensive. so...we ended up in the food court. haha. but anyway I paid for her (I promised her anyway) and she was like no need lah...but I was like quiet I'm paying and I asked her why she's so insistent she pay. she was like

like oh dear me. I was like OH MAN headache. because if you know me long enough, you'll know that although I seem horribly mean and sarcastic and sadistic and everything, if you're really my good friend and all I'm so darned nice to you sometimes, and perhaps really good to you and save you from a lot of stuff and cover you like mad if I wanted to. I'm the nicest to people I don't really click with actually. I'm like so formal with such people. trust me. the more I bully you and totally mean to you and super honest in your face,

haha. sounds weird right. but that's the way I am and that's the way it is. it's good for you to know. so stop complaining that I'm so bloody mean to you. my honesty is the best way of telling you that I love you. really. at least you know I'm honest with you. I usually like sit on the fence or compliment people whom I don't really know or are good friends with. so dangerous. I'm quite a two face, so be happy that I'm honest. even though the sort of truth I present to you sounds horrid most of the time but relax okay? yeah maril that includes telling you that gwen IS cuter than you. I'm so sorry.

back to the dinner. it was nice yeah. ran into yaoqi. so crap. never mind. vril and I were like eating and then we decided to catch the singapore idol results on tv mobile on the way home. so I decided to take the 81 all the way back with her. I think she must have been super super freaked out today. first I told her this morning at the E4 bench that I wanted to stalk her (honestly I was practically doing that) and then I was like so nice to her today and I even decided to take the super super long ride home just to take the same bus as her. heh. haven't been THIS nice to someone for a long time. really. it's love avril day. I'm so serious. it's scaring myself too. is it? maybe not. it's just me.

then on the bus she was talking about yesterday, because they finished school like pretty early, she was thinking of looking for me. heh. smiles again right...terrible. but there was like no sight of year ones so she asked wensi where in the world all of us were. then wensi was like OH they have AHEM cheerleading in the hall now...then avril was like AHEM AHEM...gosh when she knew I was in she like laughing her toes off...then I suaned her back about the love meridian day 03s307 perfomance which was coincidentally ALSO cheerleading...like POT calling the Kettle BLACK...hurrumph. then she was like ah never mind, because the thing was her gang were all busy somehow and she didn't really know what to do and I think she wasn't exactly very willing to go with the rest to tm. then wensi was like you call her lah...then vril was like she has no phone. wensi gave her that absolutely weird stare. she was like I have never heard of a j1 who has no phone. avril was like yeah she has NO phone. instead, the 2 of us are like SUPER determined to get our mp3 players this year. I was like after your a's we'll go get our players together okay?? and she was like onzzz man...ahaha. no one would understand my rationale other than her. seriously.

well anyway she got off, then she smsed me the sg idol results and then I called her. ahaha. she was like uh why you call...but who cares. I did. she told me not to call her for the next 3 weeks. I will really try. and like seriously try. the last time I wanted to call her only after promos partly for my own sake. I mean I was supposed to study so better not to call her. then she benefits as well right? but this time I'm the one with more time and everything. but she doesn't. she says DON'T call, I really must try not to. and I won't.

anyway, just as we thought this love avril day was OVER, I came online at 10 plus and guess what. yeah you got it. she was online. talk some more. gosh my throat is a goner. from the 3.5 hour talk to the lack of sleep and the tiring open house to the late dinner and the continous talking. jia lat. like this is super bad. sigh. and you know like through the day, when I either wasn't with her or wasn't talking to her, I typed some messages and saved them into the phone. here they are.

1) uhh! why isn't she replying?! Ah! you know what, I think I MIGHT just die without her around. and that's terrible. Ah again. coz I'm strong enough to live without you...Not.

2) strong enough, and I'll quit crying...more like I'll start crying...So sad. So tired. where is hani...I want to find her like now. It's her last day here...

3) ahahahaha...you know I'm spending so much time with her and it's just killing myself. sigh. never mind. I shall have to learn to oh well, live without her...

4) you know I'm like spending so much time with her. So much. I never thought that her being one year older to be so hard to bear. well, never too late. double sigh. and she's sleeping now...

1. was in lt3, our practice session. then later I went to look for her at the staff room. 2) is actually the continuation of 1. I didn't have enough characters left. 3) was later. because after we were done peering through 8 days, she wanted to sleep. 3. and 4. are together too. so sad huh. of course the rest of the song of strong enough really DOESN'T apply here, but the chorus is like enough. must really try to survive. it's crazy you know, if I can barely survive without a best friend around. she was like so darned excited about farewell assembly and all and I was like wah lao then school so sian. she was like huh why. and I was like because no you?! like sTuPiD question. so there.

see why it is love avril day now? so memorable. we talked SO much today. gosh. so tired. but so satisfied. okay that sounded wrong too right? okay let's take it that I really enjoy spending time with people whom I love, and for once I feel that it isn't just me spending more time with ones I love a lot,

I love you avril. really. one of my greatest friends. somehow. smiles. no darling don't cry. you'll still see her around. and after her a's you can call her, go out with her blah...stick it out girl. you'll make it. she didn't cry. so don't too.

we'll see each other past 2044 okay...even if we drink too much of bu shuang or become more cao bin and cao lao, we'll make it.

and I don't have anything else that I want to say already. thought of putting the lyrics of evergreen here, but decided against it. it's better this way.

woot! screencaps are so much fun. they're fun to do, fun to play with, but I don't understand the value. other than giving you an insight on the file (and thus inducing you to download) I don't really know why people love looking for screen caps. but anyway I've done a full page for the miyavism limited edition dvd file. the dvd comes with first press only, and the file is happily available on tonberry. =). I put aside a page because 1. the bandwidth may die, 2. the non jrock fan friends of mine are screaming. so I have to push meev away...

right. anyway...must make up for the absent days. let's see. tuesday. OOOOH tuesday. ahaha. had consultation. the thing is, meida didn't come, and so I'd agreed with mae to go for consultation together. trouble was, silly mae happily asked me what time mine was, and didn't protest when I told her 11am. but in actual fact, the silly girl had GP from 1015-1145! argh. so I prepared myself to go alone, because maril had GP too. but it turned out that mona lisa didn't appear in class, so maril came down. woot, right?

she does help. and somehow it's more comfortable knowing maril's there. meida and I together only help each other dig holes. seriously. although it was uber distractive (seriously, what with the chinese songs, the japanese songs, foreign exchange, pigoons, brave new world, deus ex machina) it was alright. okay maril now that I've gone for consultation ALONE before you must keep your mouth shut. hurrmph. HAAHAHAHA.

yesterday was a rather long day...but ended with ebb anyway. not that I minded. but poor thing went to ask painful questions about attendance, which was really awful. I think about nearly half the cohort was there. problem is, lt1 is a 150 seater, and there are only 97 lit students. thus if almost half, let's say 50 people went, it only filled up 1/3 of the seats. and because we were like seated toward the back, it looked simply terrible. poor thing. and he still asked! maril was like aiyah he knows it will hurt still ask...

and then today I got to school EARLY! like WOW. that's like amazing. I actually woke up earlier than usual (as in I dragged myself out of bed immediately after my handphone rang instead of lying in there for the next 10 minutes), and caught the 81 I ALWAYS miss! woot.

wonderful final GP tutorial with mr yeo. poor thing. I think we've squeezed everything he's comfortable talking about out of him. thereabout, lah. we squeezed everything from his girlfriend to his mother, from esther lai to michelle wong to mr wee. wow. all people, huh. and bitchie asked if he were gay. yay. clarence is a HOMOPHOBE. full stop. period. well whatever. but it's utterly unimaginable for clarence to wear a pink shirt, bermudas and slippers, slinging an LV bag and walking a poodle, right? EEW in fact.

AND ANYWAY. that's about it really. all I meant to gush about was the screencaps part. so proud of myself. rubbish!

don't want to say much. just that I'm wailing to clarence a lot today. and maril's wonking out on me. she's maril the econs monster today. jialat.

and absolutely fallen in love with shoukyo to sakujyo. will put lyrics here. maybe it explains why I'm so whiny. I've modified it a little because meev's english can't make it, and the translator did it in quite a rush, I think.

I deal with the present head on.
Because it was my fault that it turned out like that.
This is no time for crying.
So don't be down in the dumps.
Now I've sorted everything.
I hope that we can cope with--

Ummm, is it a punishment for too much mischief?
Please no....No...
Would you say, "its a lie,"
if I promise that I'll never do it again?

A toy box filled with memories, almost overflows over my hands
Covered them again, leaving the key inside this time

I try and try not to move it,
forever, forever I hold my breath,
secretly I really really wanted to view it longer.
The blocks crumbled.
Ahh.

Casket with a teardrop, some tears spilt out
If I open the cover, would I grow up into an adult?

With a rattling sound, it comes apart,
but I, I just gaze at
A slow motion scene.
It's supposed to be in slow motion...

Time was, moving, moving, and moving but is now stopping
Why is it this way?
I know, I know, I know but still why?
Well... I don't know.

I'm seeing vio aka ihf aka ebb tomorrow. must find proper acronyms. these are terrible. sheesh. yap mae save me okay. stupid ALMEIDA ALL YOUR FAULT.

oh I just burned 5 discs worth today. yeah that makes 3.5GB. and I'm not done, obviously. I think the next thing plagueing my computer are mp3s. I'll have to archive them somehow. especially my more complete ones, like diru and miyavi.

my folder is now 5GB plus. yay! must burn more, get out more. otherwise my computer will really go kaput, then kaboom. gosh NO.

nothing much to say really. as usual. then I'd type so much. visited some interesting websites. great overhaul of jrock pictures. again. and I realise that my picture numbers are just simply overwhelming. hyde's pictures stand at 96, gackt at 107, kyo at a mere 48, toshiya at a smaller 36,

this is absolute madness. and there is no method to it. and I spotted this very amusing picture. okay it isn't meant to be amusing, obviously, but I thought it terribly humourous.

akiya has this HURRMPH face, izumi is like hey...what's wrong with the guy man look, isshi happily looks forward, as if he says don't bother about petty people. look at the camera! pose! nao just stands there and goes none of my business man...and shin simply has this don't know what's wrong with all of them...

oh and I downloaded hyde's performance on music station. man do I miss that programme. tamori san!!! and I don't know what's stuck in hyde's throat, but although he's singing better than hello, it's still...I don't want to comment.

grah. nothing left to say. buddy called last night. finally. I guess she's alright by now. must have been traumatising on tuesday.

oh. lian sze asked me to join ProjectServe PArts. hmmm. I don't know. don't know if I'm ready for it. I'm not really for ProjectServe east area, but PArts isn't really...I don't know. we'll see.

january: kangta
february: izumi
march: kirito (unconfirmed)
april: nao (unconfirmed)
may: hide
june: miyavi
july: he jun xiang
august: kyo
september: gackt (unconfirmed)
october: too faraway...

I guess that's about it for the next year. since it's october, planning a year ahead is more than enough. in fact I think I've planned way too far ahead. jan, feb and may's layouts are definitive. meev, xiao mei and kyo will be in the year, but whether they appear this way is up to me. and I can't really think of anybody else. but with my garage of unused kirito pictures, and a couple more CUTEE nao pictures, I should do something about it, no?

oh whatever. you kids reading are probably rolling your eyes out of the sockets.

I want to keep you safe @ 1719

right. short one. just to account for my absence. simply put, wednesday was spent in EH celebrating lydia and amanda's birthday. what a crazy night. played all the settlers games and screamed half our heads off. which kinda explains why I'm sick now. damn.

thursday was normal, and so was today. but of course I had a 30 minute encounter with intelligence in the human form, and that is fully accounted in maril's mail. yes my dear, replied.

daddy came home today. had a little chiding about prelim results. they don't suck, but they aren't great. so...I don't know. never mind.

better study, or at least look studying tomorrow. no. study. lots to do tomorrow. too many consultations. I really hate the idea, but I don't have a choice. there's lit 4, lit 8, gp and econs to do for the next week. sucky.

today's entry another jrock thing. counting down SIX days to the release of miyavi's new single! woot! yeah the madhat DAAARLING boy is releasing yet another crazy song called

in other words, it's a song about the WEDDING CEREMONY!! AHAHAHAHA after the weather is going to be nice tomorrow (ashita, tenki ni naare), the prerequisites of a superstar (gyakushu no ROCK ~superstar no joken), now it's the WEDDING CEREMONY!!!

WAHHHHHH!!!!!! and the c/w is not bad too. went to listen. the PV for kekkon is ON THE WAY! and VERY WELL on the way too!! it's like one third done already! so COOL RIGHT??!!!

oh dear I'm getting very excited. OH YAH!!!! I finished downloading the ULTRA huge scans (mizu-san says I can PRINT POSTER with them) of the dir en grey releases! and the average fury ones are simply FANTABULOUS. that's IT! my layouts will simply go through the scans....and they are seriously huge. most people's computers are either 800x600 (that's the same as school), or the icons seem smaller, at 1024x768. these scans are....

okay I typed the word huge so many times it doesn't look like huge anymore...but COOL RIGHT?! it's uber big. really. and I'm so excited!!!!!

you know, as I was telling mizu the other day, I'm so glad that I don't have a dvd burner. otherwise I'd burn my computer silly. as in seriously. now my files are limited to below 700mb, because beyond that size I can't burn them. cd-rs can only take that much. but if I had a dvd burner...

oh dear. no no no that's a bad thought. it'll be like GOSH so much lah! like miyavi's nihon budoukan concert!!!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! he sang like nice songs!! many favourites! the old ones, like shindemo boogie woogie, girls, be ambitious (^_^), gariben ROCK! and the newer ones like superstar no joken, and AHH ossan ossan ore nanbo!!!

honestly I don't know why I like miyavi's music. it's so...boring. ahahahaaa. well to put it simply, it's just jam jam jam, same few chords, similar melody throughout, can't tell verse from chorus etc. and ossan ossan ore nanbo has only those 4 words throughout! yeah he sings ossan ossan ore nanbo again and again and over and over again. and I was wondering about the lyrics to that song before...

and and and I think I should get the original PV of mazohyst of decadence. I must complete my dir en grey PV collection! and get my hands on machiavellism. MUST. MoD not so urgent. I have the original censored version, really, thanks to mizu. but MACHIAVELLISM!!! gosh I learnt how to spell that from dir en grey for nuts sake. yeah I learnt it in utopia class first but couldn't spell it for nuts. now I can! WOOT!

okay I'm not making sense. I think it's this disease that miya spreads. after listening to his stuff you feel like jumping around and going crazy. oh and partly because my mood's not bad today. and that I'm feeling cooler now. just now I was feeling so warm.

rubbish. it's the power of meev's music. AHAHA. hormonal therapy. EEEEE like the nine o clock show!!! YIKES. or it should be YIEKS. AHAHAHAHAHA

nuts already. go SLEEP!!!!!!!!! better go pack my bag, especially that gp script, otherwise clarence will SCREAM his head off (oh yeah he can) if I go for consultation without my script!! AHHH!!!

and tomorrow will see VIO!!! WOOT! he was wearing his o'brien getup again today. *spots maril rolling eyes in the far corner*

in case you're wondering what nonsense I'm talking about, I'm talking about hyde's lovely NEW SINGLE which is simply fantastic. the closest thing to this was hello, which was such a scream. as in, I felt like throttling hyde because something bad happened to his singing and I was so upset, even though the song was nice. but this time it's hyde, still not the same as laruku, but going on STRONG and the song is simply AWESOME.

still love hyde. AHHHHHHH!!!!!!! there are days when diru moves aside after all.

and I'm disgusted that my -miyavism- (yes I have it) is not supported by my mp3 player. although I'm not surprised (the girl always has her files in the most updated formats which require the latest plugins), but I'm still irritated. so I'm going back to tonberry to get the entire thing all over again. like yay? but I must let at least one of my current downloads finish first.

I still think I'm such a goondoo. I don't know why I decided to download miyavi's concert vcd 2 before vcd 1. and so now I've finished watching the end of the concert, but I don't have the front, which has some lovely songs I like, such as jibun kakumei and gariben rock. oh and the entire coin locker baby and hatachi kinenbi series. yeah the parts where he talks nonsense. and I think the VERY CUTE ashita tenki ni naare is there too. what's so cute about it? basically miya is onstage with his guitar, and he plays this prerecorded video behind him, which is also miya with a guitar, and 'they' coordinate VERY WELL!! ahaha. well concert gimmicks...that we all LURVE...

and now I'm uploading that vcd 1 at 10kbps, while I'm downloading NOTHING. which infuriates myself. but the dir en grey scans are coming along VERY well. actually I was merely interested in the fact that it came with average fury's pictures. they are simply lovely. as in the non diru pics. GOSH I ACTUALLY SAID THAT! or actually I haven't seen the diru pics yet. so maybe I'm in for a lovely surprise? and I've transferred clever sleazoid into my player, so maybe I shall listen to it over and over and see if it can salvage its poor impression on my mind like -saku- did. boy did saku do well. I love saku too!!

but I love countdown more!! woot! hyde's english is improving! oh and he re-released evergreen's english version, but this time it's a ROCK version! so there's no more hearing hyde barely breathing any air into the mic, sounding like his death is near! no more! this new arrangement ensures that hyde's powerful vocals come back with a vengeance and boy does it ROCK. although it's true that some of the chords have changed, and the interludes are definitely different, I think it's still a lovely song in the end. he's rocked it well.

before the jrock saga continues, I guess I must add in some things about the more normal side of me. yes I consider the jrock part a very odd side of me. especially when I look nothing jrock. you know there are some jrock fans who are OBVIOUSLY jrock fans. their hair, their fashion blah. the only jrockish thing that comes out of me is my gothic touch on certain layouts, preference for black and silver as well as my obsession with safety pins.

speaking of hair cutting, maril's hair looks fine. nothing laughable. don't even understand why she wanted to cut it again. and speaking of maril herself, she and gwen have put their blogs ON HOLD because the two darlings want to study. like oh yay? I don't know. I need to study too, but I don't believe that blogging will take up a long time. maybe just about 30 minutes typing furiously once a week, then stop when the a levels hit singapore, and type every single day after that. so my poor daisuke will only see words from 1st-7th november, and from 24th-30th november.

and since we're at layouts, let's talk a little bit. I think my takeo X kohta picture is still terribly nice, and the design/inspiration is great. but the problem is that it looks more like wallpaper than anything else. and I realised that I didn't put in the watermark! there is no trace of 'girls, be ambitious' anywhere! maybe you're wondering why I'm so hung up about labelling it there. I don't know either. just that I like to label it there. it's small and nearly faded into the background anyway, so it's not so bad. I will always remember my first attempt at webpages, and I watermarked my pictures so horribly. first of all, those pictures weren't mine, so I was being terribly unethical by covering up their watermarks with mine. secondly, I did it SO horribly, because what I did was that I screened off the bottom part of the picture, like I highlighted the bottom pixels with black, and then I typed a HUGE 'purehyde' at the bottom right hand corner in BRIGHT yellow!!!! that sounds even more horrible that blue neurose. it was childish looking, and terribly unethical! oh the HORRORS!

okay I think the jrock cycle is coming full circle. and before I go on, I shall stop my fingers from running all over the keyboard and go to sleep. yeah I took a nap this afternoon, but hey I still need sleep. I've been sneezing the whole day (don't know who was cursing me) and I'm afraid I'll fall sick. and I can't afford it. it's the critical period, remember?? ahahahaha. and I already so lazy. I shouldn't sleep so much anymore. it's terrible business for me. eunice was still asking me today if I'm pia-ing yet. I was like erm...hmmm....ahahahaha...you know.

I shall sleep thinking of countdown. oh dear. I should be counting down to a levels, shouldn't I? ewww.

Embraced in all desires
Slowly I am crawling towards the end
the used side of the exit
I want to find the moment
To save you from dark

I want it higher
To get into his light

Stay on my side
I'll break through the world
Change our fate
Let us exceed
nothing is guaranteed
are you in?

13, 12, 11, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2

Afraid of all the science
We need an evolution to find the meaning
Tonight, there's too much silence
I still can hear the countdown
It is the final call!

I want it higher
To get into his sight

Stay on my side
I'll break through the world
change our fate
Let us exceed
Nothing is guaranteed
are you in?
I wanna be there
Need to be closer
I want it higher
To get into his light

Stay on my side
I'll break through the world
Change our fate
Let us exceed
Nothing is guaranteed
Are you in?

Stay on my side
Are we supposed to change our fate?
Frail is the world
Nothing is guaranteed
are you in?

13, 12, 11, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1

I want to keep you safe @ 0021

okay that was erm LAME. but whatever. got that message from victoria like first thing today. GOODNESS. and I didn't even realise. I thought she spotted me from the bus stop or something.

anyway...started the day with going for the what's next conference. it's too much of a mouthful to explain it, but anyway it was a real crazy morning. and all the people I knew were facilitators!!! angie!! why like that!!! but it was okay lah. the other jc people were pretty nice anyway. and the jj guy is nonsense. and then went for lunch with vicky! woot! ate a lot at ljs and talked more rubbish. there's a reason why she ranks number one on my chat logs list...so sorry dear marilyn is fourth in line. haha. not that I don't talk much with you or anything. it's just that the response is not fast enough, and we don't talk enough rubbish online. that's about it. the numbers aren't very representative...

and actually I'm waiting for my silly buddy to call. so while waiting, I shall talk about layout! no lah, just kidding. but although it IS gay gackt (or gackt the gay?) as the layout, I still think he looks rather nice. he has that dreamy effect that I wanted. not bad, eh? and at least he looks better this way than those stupid cornrows of his!!! and my sis said that the only way to get rid of cornrows is to like cut it all off. or rather, shave it all off. now I'm wondering what they did to shinya's hair...because for the release of vulgar, shinya dreadlocks. which are just as bad. and then saku saw him with his normal haid again. hmmm.....

okay SWITCH! marilyn has kindly requested for an elaboration of the points I stated last entry. oh wow. MANY POINTS YOU KNOW! but I'll roughly bleagh my way through.

1. the weather
right. it was bad at that time. now it's pretty much alright. in fact I ran home because it started to rain just now. but of course, we all know that the weather these few days (including this morning) was really awful. either we were melting and turning into a huge puddle, or we simply couldn't see where on earth we were going.

2. the fact that I didn't have much to tell my buddy
actually I've gotten over it already. as in I know why anyway. so skip.

3. meida and that girl. and what she said.
I can't say it here. meida knows what I'm talking about. skip too.

4. maril's mail 
okay this took me a while, but I think I found it.

sorry if i often forget that i've told you something before. it's just that in my excitement i want to say something and i may have said it before except i can't remember. i can never remember such things.

is it about the left handers thing? or something else you thought about? I don't know. yeah it does get a little on my nerves when something has obviously been discussed (mentioned in passing is alright) but maybe it's a stupid thing to get pissed about and I should stop it anyway. I get pissed over all the wrong things really. =)

5. vicky's messages
she's alright now. so it doesn't matter. skip.

6. weekhee's odd statement
okay it isn't really odd. just that she asked me something about like how I get genius grades. which number 1, I don't. and 2, what ridiculous question is that?? just that it adds to my weekhee character study page. ahaha I love to observe people. as meida says, I notice the strangest thing about people, and the slightest thing too. not simple some more. not bad huh? and I think it's because of these traits which make me like a great stalker. terrible.

7. what clarence told us
if you think it's about his wonderful encouragement (the option 1 of slitting your wrists thanks to lousy results), you're wrong. that wasn't what I picked up. perhaps I sound really ungrateful or cynical or just idiotic, but I really hate it when teachers go on talking about how AIYAH never mind, it's just an exam, work hard and don't give up and then you'll all be fine. like wth. just can't stand it. anyway, back to topic. basically the class wailed that he was mean, and he said something like sometimes you need to be mean in order to survive. which made me think about MY meanness. I'm not training tolerance, if anybody out there wants to know, but I'm just simply evil. maybe I need a day staring out of the window to reflect. hmmm.

8. the bitches bitchin' shit
they don't know her, it's not her fault, she didn't mean to offend but they BITCH anyway. great. sometimes I feel that these people are really strange. how do 2 bitches become great friends? it doesn't happen. they're too afraid that the other will bitch about them, like the way they bitch together. not that I don't bitch (I mean, check out what I'm doing now man), it's just that keep your bloody bitching to yourself, and bitch about somebody you know at the very least.

9. one of them crying
what can I say? there were people behind her who failed. so shut the trap and wail at home. don't wail in class where it gets sensitive. just pissed with the whole idea. I mean, ROLL EYES. I'm fine if you're upset, okay? but give some consideration to those who are worse than you, can? crying over results that don't meet your expectations but hit higher than others is the same as those who gleefully tell everybody that they got an 'A' when they know others failed.

okay. elaboration done. any questions? not entertained. sleeping time.

I want to keep you safe @ 0015