indeed, here we go again. and it's going to be another lengthy entry, or so I believe. the morning didn't start too well, really, but it was still fun in the end. morning saw a very tired and bored victoria at the interview centre, because although the interview started on time, it ran one hour late, and eventually it ran one and a half hours late, which was really sucky. to the point where wendy and I actually packed lunch for all of us and ate upstairs at the interview centre. well it was our first time eating there and I guess it was the last as well.

and then when we came back from lunch, we decided to be santa clauses. well partly because we were tired of looking at those paper bags, but we had to give them all away anyway. so there. and thus we just spent like the rest of the afternoon running around, walking around and giving stuff away. and boy did we make hell lot of noise.

vicks insisted that mag put the card on her cabinet, we made wendy chua think that we were so poor that we had nothing to offer her beyond a card, we told winnie to sit down so that we could get back to her and give her the stuff, we laughed with leng hui because vicks remembered that they were both 10th april babies (which I had forgotten), and I felt like telling them that they're not the only ones with the same birthday. heh.

and then we went upstairs to deliver to my brother. oh no that didn't sound right. correction. we went upstairs to give the stuff to my brother. it seems like the survival kit was actually bigger than I thought it would be. I mean, yes I know she got a tupperware for the entire thing, but it turned out so big (and heavy) and she added a pillow too! ahaha when wendy and I took it out in the morning we were laughing like crazy, and the funniest part was that it was green! but vicks said it was a coincidence, as her cross-stitch matched green the best, and it was NOT purpose. well deliberate or not, it was funny. and she didn't tell me, or else I would have gotten a blanket. that's what we promised him some time ago, that since he stays in moe till so late at night, vicks would get him a pillow and I would get him a blanket. cool right? so lame.

and then when we went to give yi chuan his stuff, it got even noisier. I swear HRP hates us by now. well we're already terribly noisy to begin with, and it doesn't help that yi chuan himself is just as bad actually. and then we insisted that he open his creamo-oreos and he was like UH huh. well he tried to act mortified, and it was simply hilarious. and he's on our msn now, and apparently he's on like 24/7. gosh. he says he stays online late into the night too, and that's where he gets his incredible eyebags and eyerings from. and I think that's how he loses weight too. I guess if you don't sleep enough and continue to do work work work you'll slim down somehow. and so vicks was like OH black eye rings! next time we'll get you eyebag concealer!! he was like yeah yeah yeah I want the whole set, including the foundation and the blusher and the lipstick. gosh.

and then we decided to embark on our next mission: to my boss. yeah so we walked over with our little package, and told him the same old story that vicks and I were too poor to buy anything, thus he only had one present from wendy, which is actually a pretty pack of pocky looking sticks. he was all fine with that, really, but of course we have other things up our sleeves. or rather, our lack of sleeves yesterday. and thus we passed the tea on and he was like oh my so appropriate. and then suddenly he decided that he wanted to talk to us, but he just couldn't bear talking in that puny space of his in HRP so he said no no don't talk here, go out go out. vicks and I were like huh go out where?! but anyway he walked all the way out to siok hoon's place and we sat there, because siok hoon and yati had gone upstairs for a little tutorial.

but it was a good laugh anyway. I think I haven't heard yook meng talk so much rubbish in office before. he's talked nonsense like during lunch and all, but seldom in office. just a little tinge would do. but I guess because it was his last day, and I guess he'd just moved and not willing to do much work. not that it was terribly condusive anyway, because his new place is absolutely squashy and claustrophobic.

and the rubbish went on.

because in the morning, he asked me to do 'last duty' for him. which was basically calling half a list of people for his new unit. great. the stupid part was 1. I was to call on behalf of HRP, and using the RU phone line with my name (which will be rendered invalid after the 30th), and 2. I only call half the list, and angeline aka the ah lian would be calling the other half. according to wendy, while ym was giving instructions at the computer to tell us what to do, I was listening and looking at him and nodding as he talked, but the ah lian also nodded along with me, but apparently staring her eyes out at me. okay fine your new boss decides to pull a temp idiot from his previous unit and share work with you. can? and then after he was done with his instructions, she looked at me straight and said, "okay ah, so you take the diskette and call those people, then update the database accordingly and then pass me the diskette for me to merge both our lists."

oh like what the hell.

eye rolling session. never mind. so I did my work and I passed the diskette back to her by 3pm, because I didn't really want to have anything to do with her. and then yati sent me up to finance shortly after that to get some stuff for her, which was a bad idea, because I spend up to 45 minutes up there. well since it was my 2nd last day, I spent a little more time talking to hui im and mr eio. then ah hoon came upstairs to run more errands and we ended up there for a longer time than we meant to. so after I came down, vicks told me ym was looking for me, and winnie told me too. and indeed he came walking over after a while. I was like yes what is it?

and all he wanted to ask was whether I had completed my task. and I said I was done (like really long ago). and instead of walking back with that answer, he carried on talking there. I can't really remember what the link was, but he went on, and talked about his trip to vietnam, his visits to the polyclinic etc. oh I think it's because he asked if siew chin were in, and we told him no, because she was sick and had been coughing like nuts for the past week or so. and he was talking about her coughing up blood and yada. my boss doesn't have much of a heart, apparently. yes I know he believes that she's not a good boss, but it's not very kind to imply so, because she is a nice person at least. well I guess that doesn't really matter so much huh.

anyway, bottomline is, yook meng has promised to treat us some other day, because we missed the 'all important lunch' at swensen's to bid him farewell. which is better still, because we weren't keen on the lunch for the same reasons that we weren't keen on climbing bukit timah. and today vicks and I were discussing, and we figured that if wendy didn't want to go (although she's way more comfortable with ym than josh), we'd get yi chuan along. and then it would be the showdown of the girls' school girls versus the boys' school boys. which is really hilarious, because I have never heard of any problem between tanjong katong girls' school and the chinese high. oh well.

but actually the funniest part was when we were saying that he was evil in saying that siew chin was going to puke blood sooner or later, and then he gave that fake 'awwwww' face and then suddenly he began to smile, and said,

"you know, your story really, really...

I completed the sentence:

"touches my heart."

oh my goodness we simply burst out laughing and poor siok hoon hadn't a clue what we were laughing about. oh gosh then after that I realised that I'd gone through all the different phases of his catchphrases and he's had so many just over these 6 months. and poor siok hoon only came in the last week of april, and had never heard of this phrase that he enjoyed using so much.

oh man I realised I've blabbed so freaking stinking much about my boss. which he no longer is. and that stupid yi chuan is NOT online, when he claims to be 24/7. cheat. quick vicks, go show him your true auntie colours! he lied to your little sister! AHAHA.

I'm beginning to feel deja vu.

and the story doesn't really touch my heart.

indeed it's been so long. and finally we're all leaving. yes the day has finally come where I will fail to step into 1 north buona vista road, trying to make sure that I arrive before madam chan does. in fact things have already changed, since yook meng shifted with effect from yesterday. he remains my boss till today only, but he has already shifted. which is very unfortunate for the people under him actually.

and I had quite a bit to write actually, but now I've lost it all. as usual. this week has been okay, but nothing spectacular. thus as per normal. just that I spent quite a bit on youtube with my sister watching gokusen, including the special, a little bit of the interview and yada yada yada. and I spent quite some time trying to wrap stuff last night. and I couldn't be bothered to wrap yi chuan's. after all, the point is that he opens up the inside and gives us that odd look.

the department has gone for a huge meeting which won't last too long, but anyhow I'm just stuck in office, being paid for doing nothing. but then again, I've been paid for doing nothing for quite some time now, so I guess a little more won't hurt. it's just 1.5 days more. and I don't know if mag wants us in tomorrow morning or not.

oh drat the phone. I think the thing I hate most about this office is that never ending choir of ringing phones. when they're in office they pick it up, so it's not so bad. but when they attend a meeting, it seriously has the potential to turn into a chorus, especially since they all have different ringing tones. sheesh.

man...if cynthia weren't there I'll fly over to wendy's and try to sort out the two huge paper bags sitting on the floor right now. and the phone goes again. ah well.

I'm tired.

oh I guess the most memorable thing that's happened this week was yesterday's fire drill. that was hilarious. because I have never heard of a fire drill that tells you exactly which day and what TIME the freaking bell goes off. and the funniest part was that hoon and I were so ready for it since morning (or so we thought) and we were laughing from before lunch until the whole thing was over. we were waiting for it man. and the craziest part was that in the morning an email from raymond came in, reminding people of the fire drill and that they ought to wear proper footwear.

oh like if there's a fire you have time to change your shoes.

AHAHA we just burst out laughing further. so ridiculous, no? and then when the bell finally went off at 4pm (quite sharp), everyone began to get up, took their handphones, and began looking to raymond for running directions. but ray was still rooted to his chair, trying to dig out his fire drill kit, and even told us that we were supposed to wait until the second bell before running, because apparently the first bell is just to inform us that a fire has been sparked, but they must investigate the cause first. and if it isn't serious, there will be no second bell to tell us to start running.

which is both stupid in my opinion.

but all of us were in absolutely no mood to go back to work and await a second bell, so we stood around and talked and laughed. and so hoon and I decided to stand at wendy chua's table and talk, and wendy began her sob sob story on how she wants to style her hair somehow in hongkong but hasn't a clue if it's worth it to do it there. so the conversation goes:

(w for wendy, s for siok hoon, z for me, y for yook meng)

w: I want to do my hair there leh, but don't know if it's expensive...
s: ask him lah, he standing behind you only...(which he really was)
w: huh serious ah, ask him?
s: ask lah!
w: yook meng, go hongkong cut hair expensive or not?
y: *stunned look* uhh...quite lah. it's not any cheaper there, if that's what you're asking.
w: you or your wife go before? about how much?
y: I went with her before...about HKD200 (that's like SGD40!!! so expensive!!)
w: (obviously only heard the 200 part) huh so ex ah? you sure or not? you will cut hair meh? your hair so little!
s&z: aiyoh he said he went with his wife lah!!
w: *embarrassed* orh paiseh lah!

and then we went on laughing, then wendy started again:
w: eh then 200 is just cut, or cut and wash?
y: *absolute surprise* you mean you go cut hair you don't wash ah?!

oh my goodness we just collapsed on the floor and nearly died laughing! so funny!!!!

so that was the day before. so I shall post another one for yesterday, because so much happened and it ought to have a post of its own. yeah man.

right. back with nothing to say. or actually that's not quite right. it's more like loads to say but I don't know where to start from and I don't know why I even want to say anything, because although it's good for memories, it's difficult to piece together everything together again and it's always more fun to have real random memories. not jolted memories.

but first thing, my sister is back, and she came back with the sixth day and seventh night dvd. yes it's gackt's most spectacular concert ever, his biggest production and the most strenuous concert he has ever done. but it's really cool. and now that it's in proper screen size, with clear images and good sound, we can bid the little clips on youtube farewell. and so there you go, finally another imported good. bittorrent has been resting for a very long while. there are 2 million files which I have missed. oh well. just as long as I don't miss something like dir en grey's new single (which is coming out fast) or something like that. or a new miyavi release. or hyde release. yeah.

next thing. my boss rocks. okay I think I've said that like a million and one times. but I insist. and I'm so glad that I'm not going to be there when he's gone. and I simply do not understand how cheryl can prefer mag over ym. that's just...wrong. in fact that's pretty weird, and kinda scary. and then wendy chua sent an email this afternoon, saying that she's getting bad vibes from cheryl. like gosh she didn't get them last year? well wendy tan and I have been getting bad feelings about her for quite a while already. vicks obviously remains somewhat oblivious. I don't know if she just thinks that we should just live harmoniously with cheryl, or she sincerely believes that cheryl's a lovely girl. I guess the problem is that cheryl obviously doesn't seem to trust us very much with whatever she thinks, and thus we don't either. and if she intends on making us mind readers, such that we automatically try to coax her for lunch, I'm sorry, but that's not going to happen. in fact, I'm not sorry either. and neither do I regret to inform her of that fact.

back to my boss. had lunch with him yesterday. plus vicky and wendy tan. and boy was it a complete laugh. especially the 'people skills', the post ym celebrations and the dhl box. yook meng in a box. alright man. and then when the unit had their little meeting without him, it was even funnier, because it comes to a point whereby they want to have a good and nice farewell for him, yet they realise that somehow they dislike him so much that they could not even bring themselves to ask him themselves whether he was going for friday's healthy lifestyle activity.

the best part? ym IS going, but he's going only because they're using that as a farewell, and he thinks he ought to play along with that and get it over and done with. which makes good sense. the funniest part is that nobody bothered to ask him (except 3 nosey little temp staff) and they were still speculating there, wondering whether he would bother turning up because he certainly does not enjoy their healthy lifestyle nonsense. and so they were willing to forgo their potentially fun trip to the treetops for his sake, but he was willing to forgo his comfort because all of them want to go there! which is just a laugh. in my opinion, that is.

but anyway the bottom line is still that yook meng rocks. and I think we really ought to give going out for a meal together a shot. I think that would be quite fun. I'll go check out on monday if either ym, oreo or ah sing has stupidly left their handphone numbers in the system like my brother.

meanwhile, I shall do a little quizzy ripped from yuting:
1)How old do you wish you were?
4? sounds good, but I'm fine right now

2) Where were you when 9/11 happened?
preparing to go sleep.

3) What do you do when vending machines steal your money?
turn the stupid dial and hope something comes out.

4) Do you consider yourself kind?
I have the potential to. so be nice to me.

5) If you had to get a tattoo, where would it be?
my butt or somewhere like that so nobody sees it

6) If you could be fluent in any other language, what would it be?
Japanese, of course.

7) Do you know your neighbors?
I know who most of them are, but no I don't know know them.

8) What do you consider a vacation?
when I get to bum. sleep a lot. cool.

9) Do you follow your horoscope?
don't believe in them

10) Would you move for the person you loved?
I suppose

11) Are you touchy feely?
to a large extent, I guess. but if you're not that kind I'm alright.

12) Do you believe that opposites attract?
opposites in hobbies, yes. opposites in values, NO.

13) Dream job?
I still want to be a jewellery designer. hurmmph.

14) Favorite channel(s)?
discovery?

15) Favorite place to go on weekends?
depends on mood and people and my shortage of sleep

16) Showers or Baths?
depends.

17) Do you paint your nails?
nope

18) Do you trust people easily?
that depends on the other party

19) What are your phobias?
going down escalators at the moment

20) Do you want kids?
NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

21) Do you keep a handwritten journal?
I used to

22) Where would you rather be right now?
lalaland. yeah it's bedtime

23) Who makes you feel warm and fuzzy?
who huh. wow difficult question.

24) Heavy or light sleeper?
heavy. I sleep like the dead

25) Are you paranoid?
depends on what situation

26) Are you impatient?
I can be, but I try not to be

27) Who can you relate to?
uhhh...hard one

28) How do you feel about interracial couples?
cool. they're just like normal people anyway. nothing to scream about

29) Have you been burned by love?
erm, no.

30) What’s your favorite pick-up line?
'oh you're filling your bottle huh' like DUH he can't see that?!

31) What’s your main ring tone on your mobile?
dir en grey's cage

32) What were you doing at midnight last night?
sleeping?

33) What did the last text on your cellphone say?
jonathan's meeting arrangements. nothing scandalous.

34) Whose bed did you sleep in last night?
mine. what a stupid question

35) What color shirt are you wearing?
hmm. it's an elmo shirt.

36) Most recent movie you watched?
x-men 3 in the bangkok cinema. heh.

37) Name three things you have on you at all times?
clothes? and clothes...and clothes?!

38) What color are your bed sheets?
very colourful leh.

39) How much cash do you have on you right now?
I haven't a clue.

40) What is your favorite part of the chicken?
Wings.

41) What’s your favorite town/city?
I don't know. I doubt I've visited enough to say

42) I can’t wait till:
I quit? not really either.

43) Who got you to join liquidblade?
huh?

44) What did you have for dinner last night?
macdonalds at chinatown point. gosh

45) How tall are you barefoot?
1.71m

47) Do you own a gun?
nope

48) What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
MILO MILO MILO. a necessity more than preference

49) What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex?
lure? waste my time.

56) Where do you think you’ll be in 10 yrs?
working? I doubt I'll study more

57) Last thing you ate?
chicken rice

58) What songs do you sing in the shower?
depends on my mood. somedays I don't even sing

59) Last thing that made you laugh?
erm, gackt's bad dancing? nah it's lunch with yook meng. =)

60) Worst injury you’ve ever had?
when I tripped over a tree root and whacked my head on concrete I guess.

61) Does someone have a crush on you?
enlighten me, somebody

62) What’s your favorite candy?
hmmz, gummies?

63) What song do you want played at your funeral?
gackt's sayonara? so beautiful. saikai story is lovely, but scary lah.

and thus I shall sleep right now, and take care of my cuts, as my buddy puts it. yeah the most major thing this week is that I fell on the down escalator and cut myself and bruised myself and nearly blacked out on the train. but that is secondary, because I'm all okay now, just making sure no infections and no worsening, and I can walk pretty normally now and I can run after buses and trains again. and I can walk around suntec and marina fine too. cool.

I guess the one I'll miss most at moe is going to be yook meng.

the cost of attachment. the cost of attachment.

sometimes I hate my brother for leaving such quotable quotes.

alrighty. my sister is finally coming back. according to changi, the flight hits ground at 0038. by right, that is. it was actually due at 0055, but now it's 20 minutes earlier and my mother is celebrating. it's just 20 minutes. and that's 20 minutes earlier to my non-use of the laptop! ARGH. and my dad wants to see if I need a laptop before buying a new desktop. WAIL. that is so not happening. ahhh!!

suddenly remembered what I had to do. not really had to do, but just wanted to do. wanted the photos from roy. and the videos if possible. I hope he's like sending them because I think I'll die if he uploads them. but I think he'll upload them because the attachment will be waaaaay too big if he simply sends them. should burn a cd-r really.

my subject title reminded me of our crap on saturday. jacob was being superbly lame and so we told him that we'll pity his child greatly. and since we were on the topic of his kid, we asked what he was going to name the kid. jacob says anything that starts with j, and then a whole slew of terrible names came out, including jedi. I don't know where that came from, but we were laughing, saying after jedi must be yoda right?! ahaha and then it got worse, and finally marcus came up with the most brilliant one - boomer. because jacob's surname is ang, and if the child is called boomer, his full name will be boomer ang. boomerang. get it?

SO STUPID. and we laughed like shit over that.

just read through the rough storyline of the new weekend drama serial. this is what I call real drama mama. but then again, it's ATV, so that's pretty much expected. but really twist and twist and twisted. yes, twisted. oh well. it's a drama.

I have a good mind to write to my brother, and attach it to my official letter of thanks. but I wonder why I should bother. hoon asks me if anything will come out of my er jie and my brother, but I sincerely doubt it. yet something inside tells me that perhaps something might happen. but it is worth the while? is he worth the effort? is there someone better? is it as temporary as she thinks it to be? I don't know. and actually I wonder why I care.

perhaps I enjoy making a drama out of everything I see.

just like my buddy. if my buddy can turn illogical events into scandals, I can turn slight senseless actions into a love story. the danger of leaving a series of events in the hands of literature people. ahaha. not true, actually. it's just that we love dramas I guess, and because we've grown up with so much tv in our lives, we'll try making everything like what we see on tv. and so sometimes I wonder if it's the media that's based on our lives or our lives based on the media. it's not really a chicken and egg question, but more of a vicious cycle question.

okay enough. almost time to check if the plane has landed, and most importantly, if my sister is finally crawling out. and looking through our madhat photos from thailand!! I want the real copies! roy send them out pretty please??

- the cost of attachment. -

right. I was supposed to do this a long long time ago. and then everytime I tell myself, okay let's have some fun and go through this, I do something else that ends up eating into bedtime and then I'm like oh gosh let's just go sleep, shan't we? I think many times I'm talking like gollum/smeagol. it's always us, we, let's. great, right?

anyway. Comment on this entry and I will give you a letter. Write 10 words beginning with that letter in your journal, including an explanation what the word means to you and why, and then pass out letters to those who want to play along.

that's copied from maril. so here we go:

01. siok hoon - my latest great friend at moe. we hit it off like nobody's business and I barely know why. but who cares.
02. shit - yook meng's best swear word. he says it all the time. and somehow it's become pretty funny now.
03. song - the best mimer ever! he hails from bangkok, if you were wondering.
04. staff placement unit - josh's unit. hello, staff placement unit, how can I help you?? ahaha private joke. vicks will understand.
05. sorry - one of the most overused words. say it too many times and it's meaningless.
06. speak softly love - a powerful love song from The Godfather. heard it again in bkk and got hooked again back home.
07. sugar - the thais love it. and they overdose on it. diabetes must be their number one killer.
08. siew yian - the ethics issue teacher I told my buddy about. very difficult case. difficult on my mind.
09. saga - easily one of the sexiest jrockers ever. I just had to put it in. =)
10. school - it's coming soon. and I don't know if I'm liking it. I hate the junk that nus sends though.

yay! done! finally. wanted to do it for quite some time already. seriously. listening to eternal melody now. and it really rocks. I think yoshiki is just more talented than I ever bothered to think about. oh well. just didn't feel like listening to real hard rock tonight. so I'm stuck with the london philharmonic. which is great actually. heh.

and tomorrow I'm going to be busy busy busy. morning 9am I have mission trip team evaluation, then it's personal evaluation with ailin and roy, then lunch, then spa from 3-5pm, then fly to esplanade and see if I catch anything from the library performance, then dinner with my buddy. cool huh. apparently vicks is bringing my brother down as well for the performance. but as I think about it, since pei yee was angry with her over josh (because vicks ignored her thanks to him), isn't it NOT going to help by bringing him? ah well whatever. vicky doesn't make much sense. never really did, I guess, but I think she's really losing marbles over my brother.

today was jinghui's last day. and he lives in the ever popular choa chu kang area. apparently even closer to my boss than wendy. so I guess he's really really close to charles' place too. oh well. yet another temp staff down. I feel like we're playing survivor of some kind. the temp staff are leaving one by one, in drips and draps, week after week since I left for bangkok, and now we're down to only a few. and then on the 30th 5 of us are disappearing, if I'm not wrong. next week another will go from tsu, and then it's us 3 from ru, mei ying and another from tsu I think. and then I think the fru girls want out soon. oh and li en is getting out next week too, if I don't remember wrongly. we're all just like gonna go and leave cheryl behind. and I'm not feeling bad about it. oh well.

and then ym's moving. and he's beginning to split his inheritance. and today he was like reading his will. ensuring that all is in control and in complete order when he gets out of ru. I guess the only thing about staying on the 6th floor is that when people have problems, they'll flock to you much more than if you were stuck on some other unaccessible level. but I guess it's going to be better for my dear boss because it's obvious that he finds the work in ru a total bore and completely brainless.

I shan't talk about work anymore. I shall continue listening to eternal melody while playing puzzle street fighter. again. terrible. I think I'm addicted. OH NO!

"Don't you feel like giving up?"

I meant to ramble last night, but ended up checking mail, listening to itunes and playing puzzle street fighter. which was all crap, really. I don't really know why I didn't end up rambling yesterday, but I didn't. I left the webpage at this exact page and then I didn't type anything and closed the entire firefox window at the end of my session with my sister's laptop. in fact I'm really rambling because I've just made a paragraph out of the fact that I didn't update my journal despite having the intention to.

in fact I think the very thing that takes up most of my time on the internet, is not my email. actually if I check my email daily, there's very little to clear. not many email me, and not many do it often. and usually it's crap stuff that's easy and fast to delete. in actual fact, the stuff that really makes me stay online other than msn is my blog itself. oh and my layouts. which is part of my blog really. a pretty substantial part of my blog in fact, until now. because dearest ah cek aka my desktop has broken down, and refuses to budge. which is really sad, because this computer has really been the best so far. it's the only one whereby ctr alt del actually works, and that if you just wait a little while longer, it's going to work. it's actually reminding me of siok hoon's computer at office. which is sad in a sense actually, because when you see the other computers which have all just been changed, and you see your antique being uncooperative, it's really pitiful. highly piteous.

I'm talking in circles. after a while you haven't a clue what my agenda is today. honestly, I don't have an agenda. I'm just here to type stuff because I feel like it. I'm typing here because it's only 9 minutes past ten as of now, and that's way too early to sleep. I'm typing here because I just enjoy updating my blog. even if the update is crappy and nobody is going to really read through it, I don't care. it's just something to keep me occupied.

oh what the hell.

I'm really rambling. way more than I thought. I'm not reporting even. should I? I don't know. would you like me to just simply reduce my blog to a reporting of my life? how can you answer me? and I think we've gone through this argument before, and I believe that my conclusion was that I will simply write reports when I want to write them, especially days which I want to remember next time, and I will write feelings when I need to let them out. and I will ramble periodically just to clear the junk in my brain. I think rambles are like junk mail. and sometimes like spam. they are there, little thought thingies running through your mind, and if they bother you everyday then it becomes spam. and then you just let them stay there and then you realise much later that hey, it's taking up space in your memory and you should get rid of them somehow. and when you try getting rid of them, they come out in random and nonsensical spurts. why? because that's exactly what they are. stuff that shouldn't be there. or sometimes you find proper things in junk mail. stuff that ought to have gone into the inbox, or whichever folder you've created. so here it is, time to clear junk mail.

did my analogy make any sense? I don't really know, because it's part of my junk clearing process. unfortunately my mail client isn't as great as the ones on the real internet, where spam gets damned forever. spam comes back to me still. I don't have powerful filters.

why am I saying all this? I don't know either.

I don't even know what's stuck in my brain. one of the things that's perhaps stuck in my brain is an ethics thing. it's one of the cases back at work, and in my honest opinion, it would make a great gp discussion. but I think somehow it's sad that everytime we hit some topic or some story or article on something serious and debatable, we simply term it as something gp-ish and that we ought to be discussing in class for practice sake and for the heck of it, otherwise there would be nothing to do in gp other than writing crappy essays and doing boring comprehensions.

I guess there are some things in this world worth thinking about. and there are people in this world worth analysing. siok hoon said that she can tell that no matter what wendy and winnie say, both vicks and I seem to have infinite trust in my brother. and that's true. I guess there's some risk in every relationship that you decide to forge. yeah true my brother may have eventually turned out to be the sort of person others thought him to be, but it turned the other way and that's great too. you need to give people a chance I guess. and then as the months go by, you realise that a lot of people aren't what they seem, and perhaps you've made too many wrong judgments. and maybe that's what makes them so cautious, and any little rumour can tarnish your reputation entirely. because nobody's willing to give it a shot at building a proper relationship, and to try trusting. no pain no gain. come on. and I'm damn stinking sure everyone has some sort of intuition somehow, and that after a while you sense what you can tell one person and what you can't.

I continue to have a stinking feeling about cheryl though. I don't really know why either. there's just something about her that makes me very fake with her. which ain't too good. I know vicks says she's nice and all that, but somehow I just can't bring myself to say stuff that's personal. and it's not exactly superbly personal. just that it's difficult to talk to her. like it's difficult to talk to angela.

but if you're willing to invest the time and energy, or you're willing to take the first step to opening up, good things happen. I guess that's how everyone draws so close to lily. even ym. because she takes the first step to opening. she's willing to tell about herself, not in the egoistic sense, but willing to tell you what she feels, and you sense that she trusts you., and similarly you ought to too.

but of course all man is selfish. which is why we have very powerful taiji masters in the office, and actually everyone is a taiji master. it's just which grade we are. some of us are better at it, and some of us simply suck at it. but we still try it anyway. we love pushing blame. we love finding ways of doing it. or even when it comes to a point where you can't push it any further than yourself, you drag someone down with you. misery loves company after all.

and I've just completed the 9 levels of puzzle street fighter again. there's something addictive yet tiring about the game. and sometimes I wonder why I bother playing. I guess it's just something to take me away from the junk that's in my brain. junky brain. at least I have one.

and you know today I delivered a little present from vicks to josh. and josh looked at me and asked me why on earth does vicks keep giving him stuff. and I wanted to tell him, hello, are you stupid or stupid? oh well.

and I think I'm beginning to have random thoughts already. in fact I'm typing so fast that I have barely any time to think at all. and actually I believe it is time to sleep. I'm trying to sleep earlier these days, and it is obviously not working. thus I have decided to try making it work tonight.

but my mind still feels clogged. but there are also many things which are difficult to say here. there are many things that ought not to be said here. and there are also things which are useless saying here. therefore I suppose the next best step is not to say anything at all and just go to bed. nothing will change, but at least nothing irreversible will happen. I think I have a fear of the irreversible.

and my buddy calls. my dreams of sleeping early shattered once more. was it a good dream? is it better to sleep early, or to undergo buddy therapy? or to allow my buddy to undergo buddy therapy? there are many questions in the world.

life is full of choices, isn't it?

I learnt the new thai lingo. mue james always typed in the msn conversation '555'. and I never knew what it meant. I thought that perhaps it was the code for some smiley that I couldn't see. that often happened between my sister and I. then oak signed in and then he had this superb animation of the number 5. so I decided to ask him what on earth it meant. he told me that 555 meant laugh. I thought about it for a while, then I realised why.

5 in thai is pronounced as HA.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. that so did not occur to me at ALL. my goodness.

and actually I had a lot to write here, but I realised how hard it is to put in words. but just to my buddy, whatever I said over the phone may sound stinking scandalous, but I think you're too sensitive to making drama scenarios. my boss is just weird, okay? and utterly making zero sense. actually he told siok hoon today that she may be free now, but later she will understand why he leaves her so free at this point of time. what I didn't understand was why he couldn't just tell her, but he called me along to listen as well. you mean hoon and I have really merged into being AHRE/R3?? oh my that's frightening.

but anyway. I insist on leaving moe at the end of the month. we dropped the triple bomb on mag today and she happily told us she'll talk to us again about it after she's done with thinking about it. wah lao. and I guess this time I will have to inform ym. even though I don't really know how to inform him of anything. but I sincerely believe cynthia will announce our departure through the entire PED. she's just OH SO excited about the fact that we're finally leaving. and as wendy explained, she's just terrible with every single temp staff that comes along. presumably because she thinks that we're trying to wrest her job away from her. which is stupid, because our jobscopes do NOT clash at all. although now and then we do end up doing what she does, most of what we do does not have anything to do with her at all. so ridiculous.

downloading an mp3 from mue james, apparently self composed! cool! or at least that's what I understand from him...unfortunately klui doesn't want to sing, otherwise we'd get a fully kalalui mp3 of saturday! I must go get the disc out from my bag and find saturday. I think the song is in there. if it isn't I will be so sad. and I think klui too.

and because I'm so sleepy and all, I'll leave behind this silly quiz result. I don't really know why I took it but I did.

here we go: http://web.tickle.com/rd/51330/invite?test=1284&type=t

what's your cinderella story?

You don't need the pouffy dress, the fancy hair, or the 3-inch glass heels. A romantic soul like you just wants a guy who's a true companion, a good friend, a real prince. And if he's hot? All the better. But ultimately, you know that home is where the heart is. Which is probably why you surround yourself with good friends you can take care of and laugh with — friends who will do the same for you.

But that doesn't keep you from fantasizing about the perfect relationship. It's not that you don't have your feet firmly planted on the ground. It's just that you're not afraid to shoot high. Or wish upon a shooting star. So keep reaching for your goals, Cinderella. If you do, your happily ever after can't be far away. And you can seal that with a kiss.

hmmm. sounds pretty good actually. oh whatever. it's high time to sleep, and I ought to sleep earlier. I keep staying up nowadays, even though I told myself to rest well and rid my face of zits after bangkok. not working, apparently. oh well. sleep!

right. I don't really know what to write, it's just that I decided that I shall appear once more on my friends' friends page. oh that looked weird.

but if you want to know what's been going on in my life the past couple of days since I came back, all I can say is that things are going back to normal pretty fast, and perhaps too fast. it's as if I never left sometimes. but some exciting stuffs:

tuesday we had dinner with charles, to celebrate his departure from the mainstream part of singapore to changi naval base. okay he's going in for national service finally and we decided to have a dinner with him before he goes in. and we did. and we had fun, with good old reverend peck saying grace, the maxim magazine supposedly from mag, the pretty pinocchio puppet and the accompanying book, the lovely dinner, the sea breeze, the pure madness and the great laughter. it was good, all in all. just that apparently wendy's questions didn't go down to well with joshie. apparently.

and while I was in bangkok, it seems that vicky has made yet another top ranking friend. yes she's gotten herself another favourite on the panel, and it's yi chuan, aka the scream mask guy, aka the guy who gets us t drive access aka the guy who loans us his extra chair. but anyway he's another piece of rubbish, and it seems that he has gotten himself promoted while I was away. he used to be a HR error, oops I mean, a HR executive, but now it seems that he's been promoted to being assistant manager. and we had lunch with him today. so it's adding to my list of 'celebrities'. 2 lunches with HR executives, and now 1 with an assistant manager. quite cool huh. so what's next? ahahahahaha. in fact I've had 2 lunches with yook meng, 2 lunches and 3 dinners with josh? something like that.

but anyway crazy vicks actually bought chips ahoy for him, just for the heck of it. it's good breakfast okay! yi chuan had better appreciate it. ahaha. and it turns out that he's also a chinese high boy! same batch as yook meng. no wonder they seem to know each other pretty well. I mean, it makes some sense suddenly. but they're all cool anyway.

I'm not talking exactly very coherently at this point of time, because it's getting late, but I'm still online with ulu (yeah she's talking from thailand), mue james (also in thailand) and dear aileen. but just want to end off with that I had a long long phone conversation with vicky (poor maril was kinda neglected online thanks to that), and I realised that I enjoy piecing people together vey much indeed. and I strongly believe that I'm not the only one. obviously yook meng's an expert at it, and according to vicks, josh is idiotic at it too. but I guess to each of us it's fun to a certain extent, and we play the game to different degrees too. the expert remains ym's, because he can even tell you what YOU are going to say, which makes it really scary, because he will begin to focus such that you end up telling him what he already had in mind that you would say.

did that make sense? I haven't a clue if it did. but if it didn't, I wouldn't know and I can't help you. but anyway, stolen from maril (who stole from char):

1) What is the phone brand?
nokia 7270. yi chuan's old phone. can't believe it. it's a ladies' phone!!

2) What are the last 3 digits of your mobile number?
950

3) What does the 2nd message in your inbox say?
okie... (from grace)

4) Who's the first person who comes up under the letter M?
mae. yap mae, that is

5) Who's the last person you rang?
victoria. to have lunch, I think.

6) Who was your last missed call from?
marilyn chok! because she just wanted to talk

7) Who's the 2nd person who comes up under D?
daniel. my eldds pres.

8) What does the last message in your inbox say?
"ya I call u liao. don b so stress la. cheer up =) God is with u" from hui im

9)Who comes up under J?
here we go: jacob, jairus, jane (vick's aunt), jiabi, joanne, jolyn (both numbers), jonathan, joshua, judith.

10) Go to your Sent Items - what does the 10th message say?
I don't keep sent items. heh.

11) Who's the 4th person who comes up under S?
samuel. my good old friend all the way from kindergarten.

12) How many messages are currently in your inbox?
121. and it's almost full already.

13) What do you have as your background?
guff guff's picture, my teddy bear, that is.

14) Who's the 2nd person who comes up under R?
roger. hmmm.

15) Who do you have on speed dial 3?
no speed dials

16) Who's the first person who comes up under C?
candice. the ditzy girl from church

17) How many bars of signal do you currently have?
full woohoo

18) What do you have as your main ringtone?
dir en grey's cage intro. I love it to death.

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I still have the letter 's' one to do, but my brain ain't working no more. so it's high time to sleep. long ago, actually. heh. write again another time. meanwhile, I intend to draft another letter to my brother. good mind to.

mission trip!

Jun. 5th, 2006 | 10:50 pm
location: home, finally
music: Love Psychedelico - low