february twenty-seventh
I'm strangely tired today. I'm pretty sleepy today. I was oddly energetic in class today. perhaps I was trying to make up for my usual lack of activity. perhaps. and then I was rather animated during lunch. then I sent vicks off to class and died on the bus. but I took quite some time to die on the bus. but when I did I barely realised, and woke up quite a distance down.
what a quiz result:
| What Your Hands Say About You |
Idealistic and dreamy, you tend toward the impractical. You have a knack for getting yourself in sticky situations. Consistent and reliable, you like to count on structure and routine in your life. Your emotions tend to be well though out. You're willing to wait out a bad situation, and you're never too quick to act. |
snort. snort again.
I think I know what's wrong with me. I'm listening to dir en grey again. I'm listening to a song that wails of a promise that didn't come.
何故に理念は春 はるか遠い約束の声 もう聞こえやしないさ
and that nobody will be healed.
誰も癒せやしない
I really should be doing work. but I can't get myself off this song.
oh worse. now I'm listening to go of jrocknyc do his podcast of a full history of DIR EN GREY.
I can't seem to get rid of these 5 guys.
there's something queasy in my stomach. and I don't know why. I think I ought to complete my japanese homework though.
I love my heartwrenching despair-filled music to death, but I know not why. I have loved minor key music for as long as I remember music, and I liked them any style, from jazzy to melancholic, from rock to punk. did it have to be angst ridden? I suppose not, since not all lyrics are completely downtrodden. then again, I started on my japanese feed without knowing what the crap I was listening to.
that, is the power of music. the melody that makes you cry and you don't know why, because you honestly don't understand a single word the singer just sang. or sometimes there is no singing. amethyst was given lyrics only 10 years after the original composition and it makes my emotions go up and down with it. so did a lot of band music, really.
or maybe I'm just oddly emo sometimes. I never believed myself a very affected child. nothing seemed to make me cry. nothing seemed to get me really excited. these things came later. very late, some of it. there are many days when I look back and wonder what the heck went wrong with my socialisation. was it wrong in the first place? exactly how much of me is socialised in the first place? it cannot be all. I do not believe in that. society cannot completely shape what you become. I am not a fan of social constructionism.
a functionalist I remain, I suppose. deep down I don't change and don't like change. yet I understand social change, but I do not fancy it.
what would life have been like if I didn't take soci. what would it be like, to have gone through semester one without twinkle, and therefore not having msn conversations with him and laughing about toothpaste? and if I didn't take soci, would I have immediately chosen to take ssa1201? and if I did not take ssa1201, what would have become of the trio? the trio which oddly add to my sanity. yes indeed they do. they help to tip the sanity balance as well as help to balance it. it's part of my school entertainment. if all I did in school was to go for lessons, hang around with weird people you don't fancy, rush term papers and eat crappy food, then school would seriously be crap. but school is made of lessons I seriously CHOSE and BIDDED for, I hang with people I want to hang around with, I rush term papers together with other people and we surge on together, food is okay with your buddies, and I have amazing entertainment from all my lovely tutors and beyond. I don't really believe I'm saying this sometimes but it's true after all. I don't hate school anymore. I still don't jump out of bed to run for lessons mainly because my beauty sleep is incredibly important to me and overrides a lot of things, but I don't drag myself there and I don't walk aimlessly from the bus interchange home and nearly get myself knocked down by a car.
and you know my cousin cracks me up sometimes. he wanted to look for this jay chou song, but because his chinese sucks, he comes asking me for help to find it. and his justification for asking me?
"you listen to the music of the internet"
AHAHAHA. okay the story goes like this. he came over that day and used my computer, and then my itunes continued to run. so the whole string of jrock came blasting out and he was like "what the shit you listening to man!" and when I told him it was japanese rock music, he said, "where you get all this stuff from man? I mean, you can't really find it off the shelves here, so you must have gone looking for it, right?"
you know I'd never thought of it that way before. that jrock isn't like other mainstream things here that you happen to watch on mtv, or there's a review in the papers, or there's an advert on the telly. it's something hidden in the subculture of japan that you pass on by word of mouth, something that someone else talks about, listens to constantly, and therefore gets you interested. and maintaining that interest doesn't mean that you watch more mtv or buy everything they have, because everything they have isn't exactly in your music store either.
therefore I have gone LOOKING for the music I love so much, and it is labelled as the music of the internet. which sounds hilarious somehow.
yet another hilarious quiz result. I love this, don't I??
| What Your Face Says |
Overall, your true self is moody and dynamic. With friends, you seem dramatic, lively, and quick to react. In love, you seem mysterious and interesting. In stressful situation, you seem like you're oblivious to the stress. |
MAN. AHAHA. I like the last statement.
I should stop taking all these quizzes. it's high time to sleep. did I start the post saying I was tired?
since when did I become so weak? @ 0113 the pledge - dir en grey (yes it's STILL this song)
february twenty-sixth
the darn ssa1201 paper is finally in. AND I MEAN IT, that stupid dannyboy.
but daniel aside, yes it's in. and I'm so glad I've gotten rid of it. I'm rather proud of it, but then again somehow I think something somewhere is going to be rather screwey. so I shall cease to think about it and try to do something else more productive than thinking about an essay that's already handed in and waiting to be marked.
I'm supposed to be doing my nm2208 blog. I think I'll pull it back to atspace. I'll set up another domain or something. as in open another one under my original atspace folder. I can't stand the idea of the wordpress thing. somehow. I prefer using my dreamweaver. somehow as well. heh. but that would mean all the pictures run under photobucket, but that's no matter. I'll try thumbnailing them, and then it should be fine.
today was quite fun. seriously. I didn't come in too late for nm2102. I came in at 0904 okay! heh. the tutorial was fine, albeit a little boring because I was feeling so sleepy. then I went up to return my library book and dump my essay. then I called mae to see if she came to school, but she doesn't have anything on today since she dropped laj1201. but I talked to her for like an hour. then after that I checked my messages and found that vicks was bored. so I called vicks and we talked for the next hour. and YES I was supposed to study for laj. but no worries, because 1. I did my homework, so I remember some things, 2. I know some of the words already. like tabemasu, nomimasu, kikimasu, mimasu blah blah blah, 3. I kept my vocab list open on my table the entire lesson, 4. otsuka sensei goes through the vocabulary for the first half of the lesson, 5. there's a break just before the test to study.
cool right. AHAHA. but as the vocab list gets harder, I must stop doing this. complacency is a dangerous attitude. trust me on that one.
and in fact after I got rid of lesson 6, there's a lesson 7 vocab test on wednesday. fantastic, right? well it's better known as STUDY TIME! and then there's mid term on thursday. gosh. you know I can seriously read and write, and most of my grammar's pretty much right now, but my speech just sucks. somehow or another. sigh. and to think I love oral! oh dearie me.
after TA I ran to find crystal, but we both ended up smelling like crap, because we were in hellhole. and crys really stank. I was there for only 15 minutes and I stank. crys was there for like 2 hours. gosh. and then I said MAN kurseth's gonna scream because you STINKETH, unless she has a blocked nose.
and kurseth came in, with a blocked nose.
AHAHA. and then js tutorial was nonsense because tomoko just got us to go see her group by group and ensure that our outline is in good shape. we were the 2nd group to run into her room (and then I saw joseph inside and crystal was like OOOH and kurseth was OOOOOOOOHHH!) and she didn't have all that much to say. so we booted ourselves out of the place really fast, and so fast that some of the science kids JUST arrived for tutorial! AHAHA. and we were GONE.
so left with 1.5 hours to ssa lecture, I wanted to EAT. because I hadn't eaten lunch yet. yeah I had some sort of snack before laj but hey that wasn't going to last till nearly 8. so we found ourselves a terribly auspicious bench at as1 second floor AGAIN (yes it's that exact same bench where dannyboy came by with the creepy smile) and I went to buy food.
and of course, here comes dannyboy. he went to collect the late scripts, and said that he didn't see mine. like £*$&%, I was one of the first few to hand in, I'm sure. not many would hand in at like 10 in the morning. yeah there would be a bunch who hand in before 10am lecture, but not everybody. hurrmph. and kurseth and crys have finally concurred that his hair is DARN nice. yes it's what mae calls 'piao piao ran', or literally explained as "floaty floaty smooth" sort of idea, because it was blowing very nicely in the wind there.
and then later came shaneyboy the mat, who made fun of crystal (bah these two are the same kind man) and kurseth was like AH now I'm left with just harry to see! AHAHA. but harry is very elusive. very. you have to make the damn effort to see him, you don't just see him around like that, which is sad. but what to do. add to the mystery! what nonsense.
and so alex had another hilarious lecture. and I got a seat next to jiu rong, which was a little weird but okay somehow. oh oh and dannyboy was wearing the MOST DECENT SHIRT I have ever seen him wear. his usual wardrobe is terrible. today it was simple and black and good, overall. and after the lecture there were a few students around shaney and danny, probably haggling something about their term papers. didn't look good though.
and then I'm home. and oddly enough, I couldn't sleep on the bus. and no I don't really think it's about the non-aircon thing. I've slept happily on non-aircon buses. something's keeping me awake. whatever.
I really should work on the nm blog. tomorrow I'm presenting assignment 4 out of 6, and I really should get this going.
since when did I become so weak? @ 2357 juuyonsai no knife - gazette
I just revived my thing for THE PLEDGE by dir en grey. suddenly.
since when did I become so weak? @ 0024 the pledge, obviously. dir en grey.
february twenty-fifth
I'll make this really quick, because it's late and then there's early morning school AGAIN tomorrow.
and I've decided not to be late for nm2102 anymore. because I think dr chung tries really hard and I shouldn't be late for tutorials. not to mention that she's nice about it and all. so I shall type really fast.
but then again, I don't really know what I want to type. I'm just glad that I've finished all my stuff, which includes printing my nm2208 ahead of time, my ssa final edit and blah blah blah all 12 pages have come out of my printer, waiting to be stapled. and I'm sure something inside there still probably doesn't make sense, but I'm beyond that point already. and then the japanese homework is finally done. I couldn't do it previously because I hadn't studied and didn't remember anything from the lecture. besides the nan and the nani differences. something along those lines. whatever. it's done, and I think about 95% is correct. a few blanks I'm not sure. whatever already. there's a test tomorrow and I haven't studied. but as usual, it's always done during the 10-12 break I have.
and speaking of japanese, mae dropped the damn module like a hotcake fresh from the oven.
I is sad. but I suppose it's really her choice. and you know after I saw that message she left on my msn, I felt this sense of deja vu. then I realised why. I suddenly felt like I'd gone back two years in time, when mae was wondering after the promos whether she should stay in mjc or get out to poly. and then she was asking and contemplating, and there were two camps, one to stay and the other to go. she chose to stay at that time, though. now she's chosen not to stay. I just felt this overwhelming sense of deja vu.
and the funniest part? I dreamt that I went to hand in my ssa after my morning tutorial on the 26th, and then I ran into dannyboy and I end up eating lunch with him because mae didn't wake up and come to school early. bad dream. and then now mae is not going for japanese class anymore. waileth, because my TA is even numbered, and so without her I'm going to end up sticking to jeannie, I think. poor child.
oh well. that's life. it happens.
from kurseth: if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.
AHAHA. man. that beats the vacuum cleaner statement man. and I should really get down to stapling my ssa essay. ahaha read sheela's comment off shaney's blog. apparently some twit sent her his survey questions on saturday night for approval. and she hopes he's not going to give her a shitty essay tomorrow. you know what sheela? I think you ARE going to get one strangely shitty essay from that person.
but that's how it goes. that's why we have people forming different parts of the bell curve.
and I don't want to form the wrong part.
and I should sleep. I love this gazette song. perhaps I should listen to this one instead of 1 love. oh crap I can't remember if I fed it into my mp3 player. I updated it massively the other day and killed the battery and so now it's charging. whatever.
sleepy sleepy time!
oh but I must say this. when I have the time I shall look at gazette lyrics. some of them are as potent as dir en grey ones. WOAH.
since when did I become so weak? @ 0104 juuyonsai no knife - gazette
february twenty-fourth
just checked the ivle forums for the fun of it. and the ssa one is hilarious.
first there was one who asked if there were a page limit, because the way he organised his essay turns out into 20 pages. well if you organise it like vicks did for her choco essay, yeah that would happen. and then shaney assures him that it's okay. generally it's either a word limit or a page limit. don't have both. it's weird.
and then there was another one who reminded of yuting. because he goes ROOOOOAAAARRRR. basically there were some who obviously didn't understand his questions. another one got a bunch of survey respondents who don't understand english, and did things like tick more than one box when the instructions say tick ONE BOX. and so alex said not to be discouraged, and perhaps think about why the darn singaporeans don't understand the questions. and also to attach the bloopers in the appendix. AHAHA. and so now they have trouble filtering the answers because there are so many erroneous ones that should be thrown away. but I suppose the problem is that the margin of error is so great that if you throw out those that ought to be thrown out, you'll have nothing left.
I think that's the REAL problem. ahaha. but I suppose a lot of us suffer from stuff like that. no respondents, difficult to find respondents, respondents give stupid answers, give vague answers, don't understand our english. and then when we get the responses back, you can't draw any patterns and therefore no conclusions. and because the number of people interviewed/surveyed is oh so small, it's really difficult to find any co-relation between all the factors that you've picked out to ask.
beyond that horrible essay. I'm left with just appendix B and then it's all set to print. in fact I ought to be doing appendix B like right NOW. come on young lady, get it done, because there's still japanese homework to do.
oh and I printed my nm2208 poster! special thanks to yuting who recommended the shop to me. the folks are lovely and the printing is good and pretty cheap! my sister was like WAH the paper good LEH! my mother was appalled that I went all the way to middle road. but I think that's the best place to get stuff printed. no matter what. perhaps there's a good place lurking in the west, but if you want to talk about good and pretty cheap printing and ABUNDANCE of printers, off to bugis area you go. provided you don't get lost. I'm beginning to get my bearings around that area correct. I remember the first time my buddy brought me down to nafa and I was like CRAP how do I get back to where we came from? because my direction sense is oh so poor. I kinda remember landmarks and things like that, but that means that I can only go by one route to and fro, because otherwise the buildings would be different and then I get lost again. unless there's somebody there to give me a general direction and I slam my way through buildings, otherwise I'm completely like HUH?
and then I went for dinner with vicks AGAIN. yeah I had dinner with her last night. well today's was rather impromptu because samuel messaged back saying that there wasn't spa today due to our very poor attendance. which really puzzles me, because I thought we had solved that via the new night timing. how come it's even worse now? are we all that busy? hmmm.
and I shall finish the appendix TONIGHT. and then I shall read it one more time and see if I've said anything stupid or the grammar fails someplace. and then it's done. and then I will attempt japanese homework. lesson 6 is really bad because takeda rushed through it and then I was half asleep and I didn't read it beforehand and so I'm half lost. and it doesn't help that the lessons are getting harder and harder. and my attention span sucks nearing the holidays.
and yes, the holidays end tomorrow. oh well. I'm kinda okay with it, somehow. I don't mind school all that much. I seem to like school a lot more in uni now than before. it used to be such a drag. but somehow I think it's better now. it's more flexible, I see people I fancy only, and then there's fun modules with funny teachers and some are really nice folks. and then I do funny projects. or at least somehow it's more streamlined towards what I like doing and then it's not all that bad.
and I have a long song title to type.
since when did I become so weak? @ 2342 namaatatakai kaze to zaratsuita jounetsu - gazette
february twenty-third
I was so excited just now again. why? because my PSC TOUR 2005 has completed! like finally! so that's another 7gb into my poor computer. I need to burn something real soon, before my motherboard burns or something.
on another note, I've completed my ssa, I think, after making all the necessary amendments. I think it makes more sense now and draws more links to the theories. so that the theories don't look like I'm simply displaying them, like a table in an econs paper that's there for show. yeah my initial completion looked like that. theories for show. then vicks said EH NO LINK and so I went about correcting that. I hope it's better now. what I have to do next is worse than correcting my paper. it's called BIBLIOGRAPHY. and I'm not a particular fan of that page. yes I understand its importance but I don't fancy it much. and no I don't fancy doing it either.
but I thought I'd update here because I just wanted to type normally for once. and to stop typing oh so academically. although I still fail at writing that way. I used to, I think, then something happened in me and I couldn't anymore. my writing style has undergone a whole bunch of changes over the years it's amazing. and then when I look at the stuff I wrote in primary school, I simply burst out laughing. hey I read so much roahl dahl in primary school man. how come that didn't rub off at all??! AHAHA.
oh and I decided to give my interviewees false names. because calling them ABCDEFG is really like vicky cursing away.
and I really ought to get my biblio underway. I have about 1.5 hours to do that.
since when did I become so weak? @ 1617 miseinen (NLSG piano version) - gazette
february twenty-second
gah it's thursday. and I need to finish my paper, because it's an awful mess of words which are half redundant, I assume.
oh woah anti pop sounds COOL. my original version was somehow messed up and ended up being only 6 seconds long. and after the hype about the song, and the song having a string of lyrics, and ruki talked about the song proper in an interview, I figured that my original file was screwed up. so I finally got down to getting a proper copy of it. and it's quite fun sounding, really. REITA ROCKS! yays!
and ah ma came down with my uncle and aunt and ah huei yesterday. what a joke the boy is. and because he added himself onto my msn, I discovered he has a msn spaces account and decided to check it out. mummy told me this morning he broke up with joyce and apparently "didn't feel anything". and assured his mummy that he'd be fine and his studies would be just fine.
but reading his entry sounds like it didn't end particularly pleasantly.
oh well. as long as he's fine now I guess it's alright. but he's always been a funny little boy. honestly both mum and I are kinda glad their relationship's over, because it didn't look healthy, actually. not really for us to judge but it as seriously odd. it doesn't help that this cousin of mine doesn't have a very good mind of his own, and sometimes when he does, he doesn't say anything still.
and I'm seriously supposed to continue my essay. I'm so tired of it, actually, and I've about 600 words to write a full analysis and conclusion. I forgot to check if 2000 words includes the appendix. I assume not. otherwise I'll die. vicks overshot by 600 words on her essay last sem and eugene didn't say anything. but then again, it's okay if it's a good 600 words. what I fear is that the extra I write isn't necessary, and then it's like double penalty. no? I don't know.
perhaps I shouldn't worry so much. just freaking write the damn thing and edit and see what happens.
I have other things to do besides this damn paper. I still have nm2208. as USUAL. and I've got a new idea! I'm throwing the trees away. oops, supposed to save the trees, right? AHAHA. never mind. no problems. I'll save those brushes, but throw the idea away. at least I have time to throw ideas away this time. heh. but I must really get down to doing my nm2208 blog. it's terribly empty. but it seems that some have not even registered one. but that's besides the point.
and if only I typed this fast for my essay. the words pour out. but no it doesn't work that way.
since when did I become so weak? @ 1317 conceived sorrow - dir en grey
february twenty-first
I'm not very excited today. not at all. I'm trying really hard to write my essay now. okay fine not that hard, since I'm typing furiously here. in fact I'm typing ever so easily here now. and then my essay is not coming out properly. I know what I want to say, but it's so difficult to put it down properly without sounding like either myself, or, well, sarcasm is myself too.
and I feel really bad calling my darling respondents ABCDEFG. sounds like vicks cursing, actually.
I'm sorry, you're all letters for now.
and sui gu gong is here. oh my gosh. somebody save my itunes. he talks DAMN LOUDLY. my itunes is on rather loud today, really. but his voice drowns all else. if anybody thought that myself or vicks was loud, please try my 4th granduncle. I swear he's louder than anybody you've known. he's one of those who would answer the handphone on the bus and the entire bus would resound with his conversation, as if the bus were his private transport.
oh my he suddenly started talking again. and mummy said he had a hard time getting here, first missing the stop, then taking a new bus and realising he hadn't a clue where to stop, and then finally taking a taxi to find that the place where he stopped was just like 2 bus stops away from my place.
and he was a taxi driver?! the taxi business is doomed, like this. then again, he WAS. so perhaps it isn't so doomed after all.
and I am so lazy to continue. but continue I must. man...hey but at least itunes is playing my favourite song! I still love tokyo shinjuu, even after listening to so much gazette. oh so much gazette. and I suddenly discovered I had one single missing last night. goodness. I don't know why it isn't listed as part of the usual singles. never mind. and then I realised that it's the song with ruki's super complex para para dance steps! okay I suppose it isn't all that complex, just that the camera doesn't rest on ruki long enough for me to fully comprehend what on earth that boy is trying to do. and the fans can't completely follow, because it's so fast, and then I think they can't see him very well, and then after a while you don't know and you don't care and there's no space anyway and so NEVER MIND ANYHOW DO. I think so. heh. at least the akai one piece one was pretty simple. but boy is that song FAST. but I likey anyway. smile.
and at the rate I'm going, I'm going to write a 4000 word paper. that's bad. waileth.
and then somehow my cousin hanged the computer, so I didn't finish this entry. since when did I become so weak? @ around 9 plus I think.
february twentieth
I am VERY EXCITED. can you TELL???!! I'm very excited. very very excited.
my psc tour disc 2 (aka the concert backstage disc) has completed. that's 4gb.
AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! it's finally done!!!!!!! it had to stop halfway because of that drat email that came in to my poor dad, and then I wasn't sure whether I wanted to start it up, so basically it's practically taken since like september to finish. yes you didn't see that wrongly. I started in september, and it didn't complete until today. until JUST NOW. and I'm so excited. I just finished watching the nlsg backstage (which is really hilarious at some parts and it's still cute and nice to watch despite not understanding more than half the clip) and then now there's the psc one! AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
okay I should calm down and continue doing my stupid ssa paper. I intend to finish it by thursday. so I think I must finish my detailed outline by tonight, then tomorrow I will just sit in front of the computer and type. honestly I don't see what's so difficult about 2000 words. the problem is that they must be 2000 good words. 2000 wisely chosen words. it isn't that much, after a while. the problem is about making them good. yes I think I have enough to shoot 2000 words at dannyboy but I don't know if it's good.
and my hair smells like shabu shabu. we had korean barbeque just now. whatever you want to call it. basically my hair smells like that now.
twinkle finally died. and he changed picture. so sad.
and I really really REALLY ought to be doing my essay. not blogging and talking to crystal and staring at lj at the same time. AHAHA.
oh but I will listen to my dir en grey. it was on a diru roll last night.
since when did I become so weak? @ 2142 conceived sorrow (accoustic version) - dir en grey
february nineteenth
I'm rather proud of myself. I actually did finish the transcript last night. and I managed to 'interview' kurseth this morning. heh. okay I only asked her a fraction of my questions (actually I asked her more than 4 that I said really) but I think it's pretty much enough to prove some of my point. okay YES I suffer severely from interviewer's bias. I swear I suffer very badly from it. I'm this evil woman who's doing a term paper to prove something she WANTS to prove, regardless of what people say. I ask questions that lead you THERE. and I insist pretty much. and then you'll just go uh yeah something along those lines and I'll make you forget what you meant to say in the first place.
muahaha. okay not really. I try to listen to you. really I did try. but it's not easy, really. next time I should stop stepping my foot into all these qualitative things. I'm just not very fair, really. and I'm hardpressed for time after a while and then everything goes a little haywire.
just read my livejournal friends. and there's this poor kid who just got slammed left right centre. and somehow I don't blame the slammer. but then I don't really blame the slammed. but their reactions are terrible. oh it's too difficult to explain. and I am too lazy to go through the trouble. you don't need to know. really.
and I'm supposed to do the readings dannyboy gave me.
I shall. be back later. meanwhile, you pretend you're listening to gazette's miseinen.
blah. I'm feeling so sleepy. and somehow the wind hurts my eyes. somehow. the wind, by the way, refers to the fan. I didn't open the window because it was pouring like nuts just now and the rain would come in. and then I don't know why I put the earlier two sentences. then again there are so many words in this document and the earlier archives that I haven't a clue why I write about them.
and twinkle lives. the orange blink gave me such a shock.
I'm glad there's no accompanying sound, because I turned it off.
and my eyes still hurt. I don't know if it's the wind anymore. and it doesn't help that I'm listening to feel your breeze by v6. so apt. but beyond that. maybe it's the excessive computer and readings. I don't know. it's just that I'm tearing and rubbing quite a bit, and then due to the tearing I'm like sniffling away, as if I read something awfully sad. actually I didn't. more like something awfully boring. there's just something about these readings that put me to sleep.
where is ivan morris when you need him. gosh that guy is good. he writes like avenell talks. yes a little boring now and then, with little details here and there, but good in the long run, and after a while when the story finally like takes off, you start to read on and on and find that you can't stop. he just has a lousy hook, I suppose. but if you sit through a little more you'll get to an interesting point. and then he writes his concluding paragraphs with such passion and flowery language you can't help but sit there in awe and think, oh my what passion and anguish has gushed out of this man to write this way.
sounds dramatic? yes indeed he is a dramatic writer. with a book like the nobility of failure, which fails to make it to the central library bookshelves, instead relegating itself to rbr, and the repository book section of the national library, it sounds dramatic in itself without any further description.
and thanks to mother asking if I'm hungry, I'm getting hungrier right now. and I'm proud of myself posting another chunk on the js forums. because I need to post now, otherwise I'll have to fight with the huge bunch who hasn't posted yet and that huge bunch will start suddenly when the lectures are almost done. and I mean start suddenly. like BLAM the threads suddenly go on forever. and run over the next 2 pages. something like that. it always happens when they do things like this. and because they don't state like exactly how many posts you should post and exactly what is a good post (I suppose the conceptual and operational definition of that is terribly difficult to define to begin with so they left it as is), people are just going to post and post and post and then they haven't a clue whether it's okay or not and so they carry on posting and thus the posting never stops.
and I think I ought to really consider having shorter sentences. some of them are so ridiculously long (and with brackets inserted as well like this one here) that I can't believe I actually write it in one breath. I'm not very conscious of them, really. perhaps that was what my primary school teacher really meant when she said my compositions were really really longwinded. it didn't really mean that I was going round in huge mulberry bush circles. it actually meant that my sentences were so long that you had to find the beginning, read it once through, then divide the sentence into chunks, read it chunk by chunk, then only would you understand the darn thing.
I don't know. and I doubt my primary 1 teacher (I don't think any of the 4 who taught me are there anymore) would remember this weirdo 7 year old who wrote long sentences. ahaha.
oh this is priceless. excerpt from an outsider looking in at chinese singaporeans, sharon siddique
Chinese New Year is pure fun. As an outsider one is continually learning that an oral folk tradition is full of collective wisdom punctuated by "I don't know why we do it but we do..." and "who told you that, I never heard that...", and "Ah yah, how can you give an old ten-dollar note, very bad...", and "Since you gave me two oranges I have to give you two..."
AHAHA. how stupidly true. I think somehow we know that there are certain customs to follow, but we're not really sure why. we just know that's it's nothing good really, so just do them in case something stupid happens to us. better to do than not to. is kiasuism somewhat pragmatism as well? or am I taking things just too far?
I shall read the original set of ssa readings for the national identity chapter tomorrow and continue structuring and perhaps writing my essay. and hopefully I'll think of something for nm2208. and oh my gosh DO THE DAMN JAPANESE HOMEWORK.
(on a side note, ah huei and yenyen came by just now. uhhh my cousins, that is. it's so much more better to see them. with my gramps and that side of the family it's so silent, with weird laughter and small talk. with my mum's side, we happily sit round the dining table and laugh to bits, share food and talk nonsense. and talk about people we actually know. enquire about people we actually know and care about, not asking for the sake of asking. seriously.)
and I shall sleep. and attempt waking up earlier tomorrow morning. ugh hair still wet though. hmm. but I'm tired. really.
since when did I become so weak? @ 0052 oogesa ni aishiteru - angela aki
february eighteenth
I suppose for every entry that I post, there's something else that should be done but isn't done. I really think so. but then again, updating during the school term is just like that, right? not necessarily either. I use my blog to runaway really. I think so. but it's good that I come here for respite, then after that I have to do work, because I don't normally have 2 entries in one day. in fact sometimes it comes to a point where I write the entry while doing work, so it's one hell long entry that's oddly random, because it was written over a period of like 5 hours, where I shuttle here and there, doing other things, and then finally coming back to my blog, but unable to close it because I want a place where I can runaway to.
somehow I don't want to interview anymore people.
and I'm looking at lolita stuffs again. hmmm. maybe kurseth's right, I've got this inner fascination and desire to go lolita. AHAHA. but that was only because I picked up this strange term from the video on exist trace. yes exist trace is only cool as of now, because they're one of the few daring all female bands to try entering the rock scene, and I think they're the only entirely female band in the visual kei scene now. I think. there are a few mixed bands nowadays. and then there's LLV, but she's all alone. exist trace makes creepy music though. there are a couple of tracks I appreciate, but some are just not good for listening to late late at night. not really too good.
and I was supposed to finish up my buddy's transcript. but the transcripts simply scream at me to throw them away. which is not good. not good at all. grah. I think I shall go finish up the transcript this instant, and then tomorrow I shall start the ssa outline already. and then I must go complete my lesson 6 homework. it takes a little studying of my new vocab (which I didn't study at all this time) and then doing the darn thing.
in fact I've still got nm2208 to do. oh crappy. shimatta.
transcript! on the double! NOW!!!
since when did I become so weak? @ 2355 my last flight - love psychedelico
february seventeenth
the world is eating tangyuan outside. but I hate that thing. yes yes for all my sweet tooth is worth, I don't eat tangyuan. I just don't.
and then it's another birthday. happy birthday to kaoru. gosh.
and it's been a boring day. boring boring boring. woke up late, had lunch, moped about, went online, answered gwen's questions, checked all my mail, and then that's that. tried starting my 4th nm2208 assignment to little avail. but it seems that one set of my brushes have gone missing. I kinda liked that set. not my favourite but I kinda liked it. it was the one with the beautiful house in creepy settings. I didn't like the statues that came along in the set, but the dead trees were nice too. so classic, that brush. and now I've gotten for myself a bunch of dead tree brushes, and these are like the hugest brushes I've ever seen man. they are at least 2000pixels and that's HUGE. really. most can't even hit 500pixels. and I need these trees to be real huge because my poster's a3. gosh.
and yes yes it's going to be the SAVE THE TREES say no to exams thing. AHAHA. I thought that so hilarious. just too hilarious to let go. I also thought along the lines of SAVE THE TREES sue ikea (because their serviettes at the cafe use virgin pulp) but then I'd have to go get a picture of an ikea serviette which would prove too difficult, unless mummy actually still really kept those serviettes we didn't use the last time. what a waste, really, I think to use virgin pulp.
my buddy asked me if I'd been brainwashed by the government. and I really think I have in odd ways. all the don't waste electricity (that means switch off the fans and lights when not in use), don't waste water (use only minimal amount, turn tap off while soaping the dishes), don't waste paper (use both sides, reuse rough paper, recycle unwanted paper). all the don't waste. gosh. it's drummed enough times to go in, I suppose.
I have a feeling twinkle didn't turn off his computer at all. it can't be that he stayed up. then again, it's not my concern. and then again, I'm always bothered with things that are not my concern. honestly I should be getting down to doing the interview transcipts. I've got like 2 hours to get crackin', since I can't really think of my exact layout for the poster.
twinkle, twinkle.
since when did I become so weak? @ 1742 nishi e higashi e - mr children
february sixteenth
happy birthday again. happy birthday to KYO! rights. it's his birthday today. not that it should be my concern, really.
and I'm much happier today. I'm still going to give ngoc the benefit of the doubt (since mae's small argument is rather true), since it's not as if her phone rang and she disconnected it. when I call her, the phone doesn't even ring, like a spoilt phone that can't pick up calls or can't turn on. and then there was lunch with kur khairiah and meida. I only see meida like once a week. heh. and then kur and I plonked ourselves at the forum to bitch again. ahaha. we kids have like no life.
and then plonked down at a bench with mae before tc class, and jeannie came to join us. she's quite a funny girl. and then tc class was rather cute, as usual. I love my tc class. it's utterly hilarious sometimes. and then yi wen has the most candid reactions. don't know why dominic wasn't quite prepared for class. he didn't seem to know what was going on today, which isn't usual, because he studies quite hard and usually is the one who DOES understand what's going on. hendra-san is as fierce as ever (I haven't a clue why still), guangming-san is full of nonsense, and then mae was half lost. ahahaha. not really lah. but the teacher caught her offguard at the last part. she was like hUH? what she say? then after that was more like what on EARTH am I saying?! AHAHA. but it's all fun anyway.
oh and before class, mae and I were walking past the gas chamber classrooms, and then dan goh was walking towards us. then mae excitedly waved and said a loud HELLO! but it wasn't to dan. it was to her friend walking just behind dan. and daniel goh looked at mae a while, only to discover she wasn't so excited about him. ahaha. poor kid. I told vicks and vicks said she'll say hi to him next time. heh.
and then after class, I accompanied mae to wait for meida outside lt 9. and since she was carrying so many things, we plonked ourselves on the benches just outside the 2nd floor as1 classrooms. and just before we plonked ourselves, dannyboy walked past us, but he didn't see me. he walked past us and headed upstairs towards the soci main department office. so I watched him go up the stairs, and he went all the way up until he had almost reached the landing, then he looked to his left to see his reflection in the glass panels, adjusted his fringe a little, then carried on walking into the department.
man. I thought only girls did that.
but anyway mae had stopped this guy from our tc class to talk to him, since she found him so fascinatingly cute. cute as in not good lookin' cute, but just plain funny cute. well the poor boy trips over his words so badly and he's so candid about it too. but then again, we all trip over all our words, especially when we have to like perform our memorised conversations. there's just this nervous hit. so we were talking there (okay mae did like all the talking, really), and then dannyboy came toddling down the stairs. then somehow he spotted me sitting there, and then he gave me the ultimate creepy/what you doin' here eh/how YOU doin'/I know what you've been doing/aha stalker smile. and funnier still, a little wave at the side. so gay!
so I tried a equally knowing smile, and added a little wave at the side as well. he looked a little amused after that. I wasn't. in fact I'm beginning to side with crystal again, and have decided that dannyboy is the epitome of creepy after all. so it should cease to be dannyboy. it is too cutie pie for him. it's creepy danny after all. one fine day, if I ever get the chance before he runs away down under, I shall tell him that he actually has a terribly creepy smile. it's so creepy I haven't a clue how to describe it besides the exact word crystal gave it -- creepy.
and then after the creepiness crept over and away from me, I went to see my buddy. for an interview. with very interesting results. everybody's just half screwed my results, but then again, now I'm thinking, what shit results did I seriously want in the first place? nothing really fantastically concrete, actually. so...I can't really say people screw my results. and because I didn't intend to draw serious proper patterns out of them, and I don't know how to draw good patterns out of 7 qualititative interviews, I doubt I'd get orthodox stuff.
and then I ran home. and when I came out of nafa the stupid rain stopped lah! so smart. I was so scared on my way there that I would like slip and fall down flat on my face and die on the pavement. but I made it, and I'm home in one piece.
just that there are two things on my mind. I want to bathe. very badly. but my sister needed to bathe first for a couple of reasons and so I let it be. but now I'm feeling so sticky and it's so late and I want to sleep. but I'm hoping for twinkle to change his msn status to online, so I can ask about his nick. hmmm. no I'm not going to ask about the picture. it's too hilarious for me to withstand.
I shall check the toilet.
since when did I become so weak? @ 2334 butterfly - koda kumi
february fifteenth
happy total defence day. WHAT A JOKE. the sirens rang at noon, when we were all at fong seng eating prata. fiona was like hey what's that noise man? and then it dawned upon us all that it was total defence day. kur asked us to turn on the radio, but honestly that is so unnecessary. whatever.
besides that, it's happy birthday to angela. and then happy belated birthday to jiu rong.
and actually there's a lot on my mind right now. a bunch of stuff flying about in my head. ngoc, the trio, my deadlines, my readings.
but ngoc first. I don't know. am I being paranoid? I don't know either. it's the first time something like that's happened.
I don't know.
since when did I become so weak? @ 2341
february thirteenth
what a hilarious day. I interviewed shaney today and simply must mention it here. and yes now he knows he's called shaney.
and it's really very funny.
his responses turned out a whole bunch different from victoria. okay not really a whole bunch, but somehow the circumstances under which he grew up are pretty different, so I suppose the whole socialisation process underwent a difference. I won't go through his responses, even though some are hilarious. and then I asked him
would you be devastated if singapore ceased to exist?
and he was like CRYSTAL. AHAHAHA. and then suddenly the topic shifted to crystal. ahaha. and he was like "and she says I'm stalking her. what on earth I stalk her?!!" and so I said "you see her never say hello" and he muttered something like "my bunch on our side so bloody noisy and then I look at her she blind never see me".
but anyway I had seated myself rather comfortably, and then daniel soon came in. and he was like WOAH why you here girl. and then shaney said AH she come here for CONSULTATION. don't like YOU. damn funny you know, these two kids.
and then halfway through the vice dean came by to confirm something about his contract, and so he went out for a while. so I looked around a bit, and spotted this bunch of extension numbers on the whiteboard behind him. the first one read:
dannyboy.
AHAHA. dannyboy. when he came back in and sat down, I was like "that first name over there is daniel, right?" and he said yeah. I burst out laughing and told him that's what crys and I call daniel too! shaney was like "oh really? man...tell him that, he'll be damn pissed". man. so dannyboy doesn't like being called dannyboy? awww. in crystal's terms:
but WHYY??!!
I think I hang out too much with crystal. I talk like her. and then it doesn't help that shaney has that malay accent and then I talk to him like I talk to crystal and then I adopt this odd malay accent as well and end up confessing that I'm cheena (or rather, cina) and mungent. although his idea of cheena is really funny. but never mind.
and then I asked about taupok. and he was like how the hell you know???! then a revelation hit him:
ahhhhh so you have been reading my BLOG!!!
you put it there for public to see so I went to read it lah. duh. what else do you do with a blog page?
but all in all it was a fun chat. crys says he will probably make sure that both of us never step ANYWHERE near him again but as far as I can tell, actually I think shaney's a damn nice guy. he makes a joke out of nearly everything, but it isn't meant for real, but neither is it pure childish joking. heh.
and before I forget. I saw harry today! AHAHA. finished nm class, and crys called to ask if I would be with shane till late enough for her to go crash the interview. I didn't guarantee her anything, but said should be able to. and then I asked where she was and she was already inside the classroom. but nonetheless, I made my way down the stairs into as3 (it's just there anyway) and called vicks to see if she were back in arts, but apparently not. and so I pretended to stick around there after my conversation and messaged people and checked my to do lists and calendar and everything possible.
and then. he came lah. gosh. but he came running from engine, and was on the phone apparently a little upset. anxious sort of upset. he mumbled mumbled and suddenly went HUH then HOW? and then he disappeared into the toilet, then came out and ran into the classroom.
sometimes I don't believe my state of fangirlishness. it's so stupid I don't believe it.
and then shaney asked me what I thought of harry. and I just said oh, good lookin' boy. shaney threw his hands in the air and said GOSH it's the same story again and again! and apparently only one guy could contest harry in terms of popularity, but he left already. apparently that other guy often had to stay back up to HALF AN HOUR after class, surrounded by about 8 girls just to answer questions and simply couldn't move.
poor child. poor children. mobbed. stalked. and shaney? he just gets mugged. poor kid too. ahaha.
and I should start studying for nm2102. SERIOUSLY. mid term coming on FRIDAY. don't ask why it's before the stinking holidays. don't ask.
since when did I become so weak? @ 2242 (wah so early today!)february twelfth
another gruelling monday. but then whenever I think about it, actually it isn't as gruelling as I always think it to be. I was late for nm2102 tutorial again. like 20 minutes this time. it was 15 last week. and then I wasn't late for like the first 2 tutorials. so it's getting worse huh. well 9am doesn't really work too well, you know. heh. and then TA passed real fast today. and anyway otsuka sensei's so nice, and the class people are not bad, there's yap mae, and so 2 hours is alright, really. then it's fah-liee to js1101e tutorial which is a no brainer, partly because I don't add anything. let the rest do it. and it's over in a matter of minutes. copy copy copy and we're done. gosh that must be my most boring tutorial man. then slacketh for an hour, and it's ssm lecture.
and then crys and I banged in late and tottered over to the middle section, even though we meant to sit on the left. on danny and shaney's side, that is. ahaha. don't know where sheila went though. and either I don't see noorman at all, or I have failed to recognise him already. and then eugene sat all by himself on the other end of the lecture theatre. poor kid. while danny and shaney boys were as per normal, on the top left hand corner slacking and laughing with one another.
and then after some time, the lecture's done too. and because alex refuses to let us have a mid-lecture break, we finish half an hour early, and that's that. go homeeee.
the gruelling part starts at home, really. AHAHA. so now I'm done with nm2208, which I have to print tomorrow. and I've made my darling toys so DIRTY! gosh. after I discovered the powers of burn tool and sponge tool, I'm all out to destroy images. and I mean destroy. it's good for making spots and dirt and splotchiness and everything that isn't pretty. AHAHA. it was originally meant for artistic effect and shadow effects, but I've turned it into a dirty tool. literally.
and then I need to add on the extra questions for shaney. vicky not joining me tomorrow because she's embarking on her interviews tomorrow. double interviews too, at that. so I shall have a good laugh at shaney by myself then. I don't know if that's better or worse. I'm not particularly anxious about interviewing shane, since he doesn't bite, but what the crap am I doing interviewing a tutor for the very module I'm writing for?!
so I told victoria, I'm going to kill daniel soon. as in kill him soon. AHAHA. what an appropriate surname.
I shall go add on my extra questions, print, transfer all the files into my thumbdrive (which should fit) and sleep.
shaneyy! I should stop this. XD
since when did I become so weak? @ 1207 dani california - red hot chilli peppers (this song is oddly addictive.)
february tenth
power pack. MODEM ALSO CAN HANG!
I don't believe this. well the thing is that my internet still isn't working (which makes me wonder why I'm still typing here actually), and so I finally decided to call the stupid pac net consumer hotline and ask if there's anything I could do about it. and so he asked about the adsl light status, which was utterly bad. I remembered something about making sure the adsl light doesn't blink, and then just now it refused to stop blinking, so I decided to call the hotline. and so the guy told me that I need to like switch off my modem and router and pull out the damn phone cable so that the modem and router can cool down. so I asked what could be wrong with it, and he told me
I think your modem hang.
what the...modem hang. that's like the first time I've ever heard of it. and so now my modem is slowly but surely cooling down. apparently our long hours of operation can cause it to hang. what I'm actually afraid of is that it's a phone cable problem. because the phone that's connected via this phone line is gone case. to me that's because this phone was some freebie from some strange office lucky draw nonsense. and even though the phone died, my internet surged on. so I'm crossing my fingers and hoping that it isn't a phone line problem. I've unplugged it all the same.
man.
moving on. went for project meeting with kur and crys and hang and got the stupid outline done up. gosh I spat out like 500 words of nonsense. I think I went round like 5 mulberry bushes and then kur and crys had to clear those bushes for me. I tried to shorten my sentences but somehow it doesn't really work out that way. in fact I don't really know why I have such long sentences. and then I always remember the book that I had since really young, called the war with grandpa which I still love today. the first chapter opens with an introduction by the persona, and he realises that his first two sentences took up the whole page (the print is rather big, so it doesn't take that much to fill up), and decides to shorten his sentences. and then thereafter the sentences got a little ridiculously short and so he tried to make them of normal length.
I don't suppose a writer would bother about his sentence length. but whatever. and then I got to read the rest of shane's blog. which is still hilarious. and I like that biblio example that daniel gave! so stupid. I think these three are just jokes. harry, daniel and shane. not just a bunch of jokers. jokes. especially daniel and shane. sigh. and then taupok has a name! ahaha her name is andrea. and I think she's a relatively new girlfriend.
and I learnt something new from the pac net technician. besides the fact that my modem can hang, my msn's crankiness isn't entirely due to a problem with the microsoft server. apparently it has also to do with RAM and bandwidth. so if I'm over using my internet, my msn isn't going to work. and of course if I have insufficient RAM, in my opinion, nothing is going to work man. which is why I really should get down to burning all the stuffs soon so that I'll have more RAM. otherwise I'm going to RAM my head soon from not being able to run my computer properly.
and I'm seeing shaney on tuesday. they've all become little boys now. harry, danny and shaney. AHAHA.
the biblio example!
Pereira, Shane N. 2003. 'Oooorrr!: A sociological study of the evolution of voices in a pub setting'. In Harry Tan and Daniel Soon, eds. Our State of Time: One Voice, Many Uses. Canberra: Australian National University Press, pp 12-14.
harry, danny and shaney. fantastic.
I shall sleep now.
since when did I become so weak? @ 0125
february ninth
now it's my internet server that's decided to call it quits. I hope it revives soon. it was working perfectly fine just now. and then suddenly it goes on strike. my msn doesn't sign in, my internet pages don't load, and my utorrent isn't budging. fantastic.
and actually I haven't anything to type. I'm just typing here because I'm lazy to do what I'm supposed to do but there's nothing to do at my computer for leisure purposes without the internet. I suppose it's a sign that I should do work. but I'm so darn lazy.
well for starters, my nm2102 homework is nearly done, I finished my japanese homework despite it being due only on wednesday, I've completed my storyboard for my nm2208 assignment, and I went to photocopy the extra readings from daniel. well actually I'm supposed to look through the books for js1101e so that we can discuss the outline tomorrow. heh. but I've only read a third of durkheim and haven't touched the other book I took home.
and staring at the 'Problem loading page' page on firefox makes me sad.
my internet came back! and then it died again. and then it's back again! and somehow it seems half dead still.
and then now it's gone again. but before it went off, I found shane's blog. and boy is it hilarious. I don't know if I should have seen all this before interviewing him. then again, the interview's not confirmed. and suddenly I realised that there IS another daniel in the darn department, and he's called daniel teo. and both he and shane are catholic. hmmm. and shane calls his girlfriend tau pok. how romantic. poor girl.
and with regards to the conman who RANS away with handphones:
Some asshole has been pretending to be an eletrician or some kind of technician on NUS campus and "borrowing" handphones from students by saying that they need to make a short urgent call. He pretends to make a call, then runs away gleefully into the deep blue yonder.
deep blue yonder? AHAHA. and crys has made it her nick. sorry crys, but seems like shane ain't all that normal as you'd hoped. did you even hope for that? I don't know man. but it's utterly hilarious. absolutely.
and I suppose my computer internet connection died laughing at shane's blog too. all these people should really check out what they put on the net man. but I suppose they do understand the possibility of digging too. so I assume that they put all this crap up knowing it may end like this. I do.
and I should sleep. I'm actually rather zombiefied. and very tired of fighting with the stupid computer connection which isn't cooperating. I hope pacific internet is getting 2 million calls right now. it's not the first time it's happening, and then mummy told me that it happened earlier this afternoon too. like what the crap.
project meeting tomorrow. sleepy sleepy. shall laugh to pieces with crystal about shane tomorrow. and now I really want to interview him.
simultaneous release. looking down the barrel of a hot metal .45.
since when did I become so weak? @ 1237 dani california - red hot chilli peppers
february eighth
I ought to be in bed now.
but I'm not. and I find that I'm needing less sleep nowadays. perhaps I've gotten used to school all over again. perhaps I just can't quite sleep with the stuff I've got to do. perhaps I sleep enough on the bus home to sustain a little more at home.
perhaps. quizas. tabun.
I don't even know why I'm typing here actually. I've had a strange set of emails to daniel. it's been like 4/5 emails already. oh. it's 4 emails within one day. fantastic right. and yook meng replied vicks. heh. his email sounds strange, but whatever. I replied him for her, because she was busy in school.
suddenly email isn't such a useless application anymore. I'd always treated it as something that wasn't very spectacular. but then after it's worked for winnie, for yook meng, for all the darn tutors I've emailed in nus, it seems that it's a great application. as long as you send to people who DO check their mail, that is. it takes 2 hands to clap after all.
and then tomorrow I shall troop down to the library and get the extra readings daniel has dug up.
and I should sleep. really. and ngoc is driving me up the wall. I don't know if she understands what the shit I'm talking about at all sometimes. I'm going to call her tomorrow morning man.
sleepy time. mr sandman. heh. forgotten about that. ah well. time to lie amongst the poppies.
since when did I become so weak? @ 0107 conceived sorrow (accoustic version) - dir en grey
february seventh
yeah feb 7th again. after all, two releases are available today. one is dir en grey's new album, the marrow of a bone, and the other is gazette's new single, HYENA. which isn't amazing, but still alright. maybe it'll grow on me. but diru's album is overshadowing it.
anyway just a couple of things.
I must talk about the sallah guy I saw on the bus today. when I saw him at the yih bus stop he already looked odd. and then he got on the bus and sat opposite me, allowing me to study him. and I tell you he's so buang. just all wrong. absolutely.
- nice straightish hair, dyed a dark brown, tied up in a brush-like pony tail, with perfect fringe and all - tight white racer back and blue jeans folded up to become 3/4 pants - pink birkies. the kind with just one strap across with buckle. and I mean PINK. - manicured nails (highly buffed) and painted toenails. painted this deep mahogany colour. - dull purple well used adidas tote bag, pretty pink wallet - a simple bracelet, 2 rings (one on wedding finger), a gold heart-pendant necklace, 5 earholes. 2 on left 3 on right.
it doesn't help that he has a guyish face. that broad cheekbone face, lightly muscled, veined hands.
so buang. so so buang. and then when he got up to alight, he nearly bumped into this njc boy who was like OOH almost bumped into that girl man. and then the st nicks girl beside him kindly informed him that that was a MAN. the njc boy exclaimed so loudly OH MY GOSH YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ARE YOU SURE THAT CAN'T BE OH MY GOSH that I heard him above the bus noise, the passenger noise, tv mobile and my own mp3 player.
oh well. people who make up this world.
and speaking of the people who make up this world, vidal dan-soon replied my email. and so my idea has been approved. and I want to make sure I write good out of it. because I have this odd feeling he expects quite a bit. and that sucks. and then crystal got her soci tutorial swopped and now she's going to see HARRY on tuesday!!! AHHHH.
twinkle twinkle little star. how I wonder how you are.
squeeeee. and crys' class is in as3/0209, which is like 3 classrooms down from where I used to have soci last sem.
okay I must sleep. I have like 6 more hours to sleep. gosh. but at least I got my ssa movin'. finally! wee!
since when did I become so weak? @ 0145
february seventh
right. suddenly realised that I'm procastinating here again. I'm supposed to be like typing my outline for ssa, not my blog. but I can't be bothered sometimes. there's a limit somehow.
stuck in as7, obviously. with vicks, because we had lunch with winnie. and there's been so much change just over this 8 months or so. and then we find out that the world has decided to quit. I suppose the only real happy story we've had today is yook meng's. heh. I think we're being evil at the same time, really. well fact is he's been promoted above mag and thus everyone's happy for him. and according to winnie, he's way happier, having more patience, better temperament and certainly not ill anymore. and so that's all good really. and then after we heard about his promotion to manager, vicks couldn't stop saying the word 'manager'. gosh. she said it all the way till school. and then she finally realised that office politics was a whole sociological mess.
like DUH. sociology. society lah. office is made of people, and a bunch of people becomes a form of society. and it doesn't help that they're such bureaucrats. but I suppose that's the way they live on. that it doesn't matter if anybody's going to suffer as a result of not doing certain things, or that we're going to waste all the money and resources from doing so many redundant things. just so long as I have work to do, I can do my work, nobody kills me for the stuff I do, a higher ranking officer approves of it, and that's that. what happens after that is none of my business, and I take the effort to ensure that it is NOT my business.
oh well. that's how it is I suppose.
and I think I should really go type out an outline and see if I have any direction in the first place.
oh and yook meng's poor goldfish are still relegated to a place in his blue PAIL. I don't believe it. poor fish! I'd rather he give them away to kian boon. at least kian boon would take proper care of them, because he actually does like keeping fish. but then again, the goldfish are there for fengshui purposes. and so vicks said we should buy him a fishtank, but I argued that we couldn't get it sent there. so she said let's send it through my brother. but I don't think the fishtank would remain in one piece via my brother. so we decided we should smash it first, and then pack in glue and masking tape and label the package
FISH TANK. SELF ASSEMBLY REQUIRED.
AHAHAHA. I should get down to that outline NOW...
since when did I become so weak? @ 1530
february sixth
oooh it's been a few days. and I don't have to be such a superwoman anymore. okay not really. it's just that my nm2208 2nd assignment is done (and I have to quickly conceptualise my 3rd one for next week), and then we've moved a little more for js1101e project. quite a bit more actually, in my opinion. I guess making us spit out an outline with relevant biblio gets people's butts moving.
now the only problem is the piling japanese and the immense deadline of 26th february. TWENTY-SIXTH. that's 20 more days. and what have I done? nothing. I really should do the readings and formulate whatever I can NOW (or rather, after I'm done with japanese homework which is oddly terribly difficult today and I don't know why) and then cook up some good stuff and points to ponder and send the whole damn thing to daniel.
wahhhhh.
and then and then. and then I need to do my nm2208 blog soon. or else the assignments which I have to do will pile up. and already stuff IS beginning to pile up. gosh.
and so I shall end this very very short entry. short it has been, because I'm supposed to be horribly busy and incredibly focused at this point of time. I shall go read my readings on race this INSTANT and get moving about my ssa1201 term paper. NOW.
oh oh oh and vicks and I are eating with madam chan tomorrow! ahaha. never thought we'd get that moving. I hope winnie knows what she's getting herself into, as vicky says. but I suppose so, since we supposedly still hold the record as the noisiest temp staff ever. heh.
till I avenge you. the diru album is officially released TOMORROW. great, right? whatever. goooooo!
since when did I become so weak? @ 2210 the pledge (accoustic version) - dir en grey
february third
right. happy birthday to oreo/scream mask man.
and I simply love the pledge. and kyo SINGS. as in he really really just sings the entire thing. no sign of screaming, no sign of wailing, no weird noises. nothing. just singing. and produces that tearful cry of despair without yelling the entire studio down. alright man. now we await the lyrics. I hope the booklet comes with the translation again. they've been doing that for the past couple of albums already. in fact the funniest was kisou. they put the translation booklet in the usual album booklet case, and then hid the original lyrics booklet in the slot below the cd. so that means you actually have to pry open the section below the cd to get to it.
and crystal has just woken up. to her deadlines, that is. and yes ssa is due at the end of the month. when everything else is due in late march or early april. but nooo, alex decides to torture us and pressure us into coughing up a 2000 field work essay by the end of the month. he insists we ought not to panic despite only knowing our tutors 4-5 weeks before the due date, but trust me, we do man. and we panic real badly, I suppose. but of course the bomb dropped early is never heeded. it is a time bomb after all. it's always only near the blast when we suddenly panic and go AHH which wire to cut and then somehow we'll get the right wire.
I'm making assignments sound like a movie. a typical movie in fact. the RED WIRE! cut. the time bomb stops ticking. yay!
whatever, right? in fact I'm supposed to cut the wire of my nm2102 assignment. I've been at it for days. and I really should kick myself and get down to doing it straight. and then I'm going to spend my monday 2 hour break panicking for nm2208 again. AGAIN. ahaha why do I do this repeatedly to myself?
I must be truly masochistic somehow.
but I'm going to be darn busy tomorrow morning. I have this weird feeling. it's one of those feelings, like aileen says, that everything that can go wrong WILL go wrong. something along those lines. I suppose all these things just go to show how little a human can control. I can't even control how people interpret my sms!! but thank God for joanne's mum, and wonderful jayne who's preparing quite a bit too. and then also angeline for being okay with a little last minute stuffs. and of course, enthusiastic tricia. gosh. never expected breakfast table to be such a hassle. I suppose that's partly my bad attitude, yeah?
bah back to the assignment! and I can't wait for the album to be officially released. I want to sing along to the pledge but I can't because there aren't any lyrics. and at least he isn't screaming some weird english. okay kyo's english is much better, grammatically, that is. but it's absolutely unintelligible. his japanese is bad enough, really, with that kyoto accent and screamish vocals. english is terrible on him. completely lost.
but I suppose with every failed single and album, diru saves themselves with something at the end of the day. and jrocknyc's number of comments for diru's album has escalated incredibly. but I'm too lazy to read them already. they're all half the same thing man. and I agree with that half. and there was a lj comment on the upload saying that the user was kinda scared to take this album too, because after agitated screams of maggots, goodness knows what's next. but the user took it anyway, out of respect for dir en grey.
hey, me too. =)
since when did I become so weak? @ 2343 the pledge - dir en grey
february second
let's say this real honestly. I was very scared to listen to dir en grey's new album. VERY afraid.
after the half boring withering to death (I only like half the songs, literally), the disastrous clever sleazoid, the suddenly redeeming ever tragically beautiful tear-jerking ryoujoku no ame (yes I like this song SO much) and then suddenly smashing everything they ever did into the powerfully horrible, devastating aka total earsore and headache agitated screams of maggots (I think I was more agitated than the maggots after listening to that trash), I was very very very scared of this album man. really scared stiff. like what if they all turned out like agitated screams of maggots?! what if they all turned clever sleazoid-ish?!! am I going to throw dir en grey out of my window and never forgive them even after an attempt to atone for their musical sins by releasing ryoujoku??
but I suppose they still aren't far from falling out of the window. this time instead of half, I like a third of it. they saved themselves a LOT with the very first song. and then they went on a killing spree for 4 songs, screaming half to death. and then suddenly civilisation struck once more when ryoujoku started. they re-recorded that song. now it's a little less messy. clearer. but sounds a little rushed somehow. never mind that now. then number 7's okay, 8's back to screamishy, 9's something newer out of diru but not something I particularly like, 10 rocks like the first song, then 11 and 12 is pure noise that finishes off with track 13, a re-recording of clever sleazoid and the 3 songs sound like number 11 didn't finish.
so instead of half boring, it's 2/3 ouch. but oh gosh the 10th track really rocks. how do you know a track rocks? either it makes you want to sing it again and again; makes you want to play it again and again; gets stuck in your head and you're liking it; makes you want to dance/rock along
or in my case, it makes me cry.
the first track, conceived sorrow, is modelled after ryoujoku. and that is such a good move. for me, that is. 1. kyo sings. KYO SINGS! 2. no screaming at all. even ryoujoku has a little at the end. 3. it's got this angsty quality sans noise, with quiet but resounding effects of the bass, and the piano adds the final touch. the chords are a little duh, but hey it maketh good sound! but the song is a little too ambitious. it's a wee bit too high for dear kyo who's losing both his voice and it. yeah I think he's lost it somewhere in america. if they're screaming to sound americanish, please stop, thank you.
the tenth track, the pledge (no not we the citizens of singapore), is noisier than the first, with more guitar pedal effects. but the rhythm and riffs hit hard. and the chorus sticks. and then you realise you're going to cry. there's that sense of not just angst, but also that pathos that wrecks your heart so much.
pathos. I think it's all diru's fault that I turned so emo. wails.
and then something in kat-tun must have turned that around. and then I became this weirdly suddenly depressing and morbid child who swings without reason to this jumpy crazy random-word-spouting kid.
but anyway now I'm listening to tomoyasu hotei. which is a whole lot bouncier. he writes FUN music. not too poppy, not too cheesy, but FUN music. just twist and dance and lalala along. that kind. and rock man! come on, how bad could the all famous guitarist of boowy get? AHAHA. not too far right? and that's exactly why I bothered taking his stuff! and this is a best compilation. I was looking for discography that time but everybody seemed too distracted by my other requests. next time I shouldn't put so many things into one post.
wails. suddenly xinying says she can't fry the bee hooon!!!!! HOWWWWWWW. hmmmm. and then angeline has presented another problem to me. how the heck to pack the sandwiches. hmmm. I have this odd feeling we're going to get a myriad of sandwiches at this rate. oh what a headache.
and aileen isn't here yet. hmmm. she's still not done. hmmm.
---------------------------------
she's here! and so I should go, I suppose.
and I still haven't seen twinkle. and dan has only like a few shirts. hmmm. I'm picking up this hmmming thing man.
since when did I become so weak? @ 0012 conceived sorrow - dir en grey
february first
okays here we goes! yes indeed here we embark on our uruha journey! if you're thinking that this layout doesn't look much different from the previous one, let me inform you that it wasn't meant to look much different. I was just being lazy, and didn't have much time to spout a really nice and different layout. not that my layouts are vastly different to begin with. but that's pretty much besides the point. but anyway the words (albeit in chinese and some are allergic to it) are from 'one last dance', which I raved about the last time. and that's obviously uruha, whom I chose because he looks the part for the words more than anyone else. and I did want to do somebody from gazette. just that uruha wasn't initially part of the choice. but that doesn't matter either.
the problem with such a layout is that you're going to get very wordy posts. so I'll try to keep it down. and I don't have particularly much time either. and because I'm such a lazy twit, and unwilling to update my archives page, here's last month's entries:
so there. and what's happened since then? I suppose the only noteworthy comment I have is my next joke of the year: vidal dan-soon.
yes indeed after twinkling toothpaste, vicky has wonderfully come up with another advertising campaign. for shampoo this time. and it's just darn hilarious. this one doesn't take much thought though. basically dan soon's my ssa tutor, and it was completely unexpected. I just didn't want sheela. somehow or another. don't ask me why I don't want her but I just don't. I can't pinpoint it anywhere but I just didn't want her as my tutor. and she isn't! and I get rooooomie. crystal was like EH NOT FAIR and now she wants to crash my consultations. fantastic. but anyway the first thing that struck me when daniel walked into the room wasn't just OH HE'S REALLY MY TUTOR GOSH, but also that he has fantastic hair.
and so you know where this is going already.
all I did was to tell vicky that I think daniel has wonderful hair (his literally fits the usual description of healthy hair with strong roots sort), even though that was not particularly related with what she was asking (she was asking about his lessons). and so vicks decided that he shall be the spokesperson of vivasa-soon. at first I thought it was a typo, that it's supposed to be vidal, not viva. then suddenly I noticed that she'd cut the two words wrongly too. and so after another 2 messages, the brand has evolved into
vidal dan-soon.
poor daniel soon. I think we should just call them chin kwan and chee ming, so that harry can stop twinkling and daniel can stop being a hair model. AHAHA. and anyway victoria saw dan today (apparently she's never seen that sleepy eyed dude before) and she was like YES HIS HAIR IS VERY NICEEEEEEEE! AHAHA I can't believe we ended up talking about how nice dan's hair is.
it is so random. and completely unrelated. and totally out of focus.
but I suppose we like things like these to keep our sanity amidst the pile of assignments and homework and papers and boring lectures and madhat tutorials. I like my sanity, do you like yours? I'm pretty sure you do. and then tomorrow I'll think over lunch and try to formulate something for ssa. then again, I'm supposed to 1. practice my japanese conversation exercise, 2. finish my nm assignment, 3. think about my nm2208. but I can't keep thinking about nm2208. seriously. better think of something real fast. and I mean FAST.
and I think I'd better FASTER go sleep. I'm rather tired. but simply couldn't fall asleep on the bus.
I think I'm stressed. oh dearie me. that's not good. not good at all.
SLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP.
since when did I become so weak? @ 0020 red motel - gazette