April 2007

suddenly thought of blogging. it's really late, actually. and just as I had sort of adjusted my body clock again due to two 9am papers and then a break of saturday, and waking up early again today. then now it's half past 1 in the morning and I can wake up late forever more until the semester begins. okay not quite. but basically I'm not all that constrained anymore.

now I'm wondering if I should work. actually I still think I should. but I'd probably start in like june or something. late again, I know. but I can't really help that, because firstly, I end on thursday, which is 3rd may. thereafter, I need to finish arranging MY song, then help out with shaun's song, and then I need to camp with lian sze to help her with ALL the tracks and finish up the preparation for steven to do the mixing, otherwise lian sze is going to die from all the work, and I am the most free. thus the month of may will be madness.

my eyes are actually falling out. it's a sign that I should sleep. and all that happened was that I was studying like crap yesterday. literally. I was studying crap, and studying it crappily. I'm so terrible. it's my freaking last paper and I'm tired of waiting for it, actually. it's 32 mcq and 3 short answer. I bet you it's 0.5 per mcq and 5 marks per short answer. and that totals how much? 30 marks, 30%. wah lao.

so I shall sign off while one of my favourite songs is playing in the background.

and that was the end of js1101. completed in like 20 minutes flat. it was a 'either you know the answer or you don't' paper anyway. so with that I slashed through the paper. and took a long long long time to shade the answers. AHAHA. yeah it was 50 mcqs. and I was annoyed that the lecturer likes using the term j-pops. j-pop is short for japanese popular music. and you do not have popular musics. so what is with that plural thing?! goodness.

and I am not being atas here. idiot boy. I was thinking that word looked so familiar. then suddenly I remembered my buddy's mini malay lesson. AHAHA. I'm darn sure he didn't want to tell me what it meant. but unfortunately for him I know. hiak.

I forgot to bitch about laj last night. squeaky otsuka struck back. and a bad idea that is. squeaky otsuka, or my dearest otsuka sensei who takes one of my japanese tutorials, first struck during the mid term's listening comprehension from hell. the pa system in the school isn't one of the best, and a crackly squeaky sound from a lady who does not naturally have a high voice is a very bad idea. I think kojima sensei would have done a better squeaky sound. seriously. and yesterday the listening comprehension from hell II started, and while she and takeda talked the parts normally at first, later squeaky otsuka was introduced, and it was horrible man. mpsh 6's pa system is even worse than lt12 and I'm still very irritated that the school couldn't reallocate us elsewhere. if takeda just didn't like the colour of the mpsh then I'll render that an invalid reason to change exam venue. but when we are unable to do our listening comprehension (and it's from hell too) properly, I think that's such a valid reason to change venue! idiot nus admin. but then it's over and we're all still alive. in any case, squeaky otsuka is a terrible concept.

my olivia discography is taking quite some time. it was actually moving pretty well last night, but I had to go to bed. I left the comp on for my sister but I think she must have switched it off pretty soon after. so it didn't complete last night. just want to hear how her music goes. olivia, is really a living doll. and I realised which doll. she looks like those volks dolfies. I mean it.

and that was olivia lufkin. the american-japanese little girl who is TWENTY EIGHT this year and still looking like that. uh those pictures were from last year. and here's my favourite female super dolfie 13 (limited edition), cyndy:

what a nice dress they've got for her. exactly what they've turned olivia into -- a gothic lolita doll.

oh but that's the 2nd version of cyndy they've got there. volks' original cyndy wasn't so cold looking. but dolls are dolls, and cold looking they will be. but both cyndys have that equally disturbingly calm and emotionless look. that no matter how you plead for your life, your head, is still on the chopping board all the same.

I still like my isao nanjou. but we cannot compare olivia to isao, because isao is male. male doll. sigh. oh forgot to check how much cyndy costs! isao costs something like 96,000 yen. and he's the most expensive. so there won't be anymore shockers. so how much is cyndy? 81,900 yen. ooh. that translates into S$1228.50 at the highest yen to sing dollar rate. at present it's...S$1042.23 only. uh yeah the yen dropped a couple months ago. oh and that means isao is S$1229.29 now. cyndy is presently sold out anyway. oh and I don't know if that price includes tax. but just add the tax and the shipping, and then add some additional clothes if you want, and furniture too, and I'm darn sure the bill is going to hit at least 1500 bucks.

but it's good for volks, really. it has an annual turnover of like 5000 million yen. take that number and slash about 2 zeros off for conversion sake. the dollies mentioned above are part of the superdollfie 13 series, so they stand at 60-63cm tall. that's kinda big, actually. but hey hey they're darn pretty. the standard dolls are slightly shorter at 57cm. but I still like their super small cute ones! my goodness they were so cute when they put on the raincoats with their little umbrellas.

personally I think these dolls are really well made, but very expensive if you buy all the paraphernalia. but if you're a budding seamstress or fashion designer sort of person, investing in a doll's not bad. these are ball and socket joint dolls, and they seem to bend pretty well, pretty naturally. so they seem like a rather good idea if you've got a crazy idea but you don't want to make a full human size one, or you think no human around you would wear it. AHAHA. then make for what right. but we all have our silly sides.

and I'm sleepy already. I slept on my way to school, I slept when I got home. it's half past 10 and I'm sleepy again. and actually I meant to sleep after lunch, but I felt like a pig that way so I gave up that idea and went online instead. which wasn't such a great idea. and denise was disconnected upon every boom of thunder.

sigh. the shaney imagination. not the social, not the sociological. the SHANE IMAGINATION. he causes the rain. hurrmph.

oh and because my guestbook's server has ALSO died, I'm using haloscan again. I had an old old old account and now I've revived the darn thing. at least that one's pretty much reliable. even more reliable than chatterbox and floobie boxes and the like. I hate tagboards anyway. for all reasons possible. and unreasonably so. heh.

oh shit. I suddenly realised that because I didn't shift my torrent it's been overwritten. shit.

shit shit shit. I am so upset with myself for that. THE PSC TOUR TOOK SO LONG TO FINISH AND I OVERWROTE IT.

too late. too bad. it shall start all over again after this one is done. I knew there was something stupidly wrong when it began to check the file before starting. stupid stupid stupid. but yet all is not lost, for the psc tour is something that is continually sought after, and a small list of seeders and leechers continue to exist. and very fortunately for myself, I lost the 4gb file, and not the 7gb file. and in my memory, this 4gb one is easier to find seeders than the other one. the backstage disc is more rare, apparently. which is strange, because they freaking come together.

the craziest part? I've had that concert for so long, but I've never watched it properly. I've watched silly little excerpts from it, and the entire gazette part and the miyavi and keiyuu section. but not the entire thing.

and somehow I wish he'd come online. but actually I think I should sleep. I am rather sleepy.

I am developing symptoms of OCD. ahaha not really. but just symptoms. I'm not stressed. I should be, honestly. but I simply am not. and so far the grades are looking okay. not like all set to go, but they seem alright. 2102 looks alright, from the looks of it. I fear the bell curve alone. stupid thing. my raw scores are fine, actually. then again, I fear 2208. but it is too late.

I am actually counting on js, laj and oddly, ssa. but somehow I think 2102 should be okay. it has to be. I fear a C for 2208. and I need something to save that. why am I thinking about this. it's not as if I can do anything. one more exam to go, girl. and you're done. so do it decently. give it some shot.

I should go to bed. it's a sign. perhaps I should ask gwen when she's going to school to pick up her penguin book aka her psych stats book and maybe I'll crash in school. perhaps, perhaps. sometimes I wonder what I'd do if he suddenly appears online. suddenly. ahahaha. it's as if it's a moral dilemma or something. and sleep is more important. it should be.

yes this page is finally alive and kicking again. atspace isn't a bad service -- they just need to know when their servers break and try to get them back fast. well they kinda did, really. but somehow I think it might break again. hurrmph. never mind. so long as it works now.

thinking of storing my archives elsewhere like those domain holders who like to offer space to others. I think it's really nice, but sometimes I wonder why they do that. but I suppose because they've faced as much trouble with free sites as we all have. oh well.

and because I was asked how the IPA fonts appeared on the screen, I realised that it isn't a font thing. it's actually an encoding thing.

and crystal's terribly sick. I didn't expect that. 38.4. sounds like yi chuan's nick the other day. it was 38.x, then a couple of days later it went to 40.x. which sounded scary. but I don't know if it's a fever he's having or some other index. I hope not fever.

and then I should be studying js right now. but I suddenly felt like blogging since my server revived. and I'm so lazy to study js. somehow I know it's a stinking memory test and so I should be jamming everything I can into my mind now, but yet I feel it's so futile.

oh yes. I filed all my stuff today! with the exception of laj, because there are too many things. they're nicely sorted into notes, workbook exercises, coursepack exercises, vocabulary tests, lecture quizzes and listening comprehensions.

if you're wondering, YES THAT IS THE AMOUNT OF WORK WE DO FOR LAJ. and to some extent, all languages do this to you. except english, of course. but that actually doesn't count. el1101e isn't a course to learn how to speak and write english. oh well. but yes everything else is nicely filed and settled in some file or another. I've stuffed js with my geisha and samurai stuff and the ssa has comfortably found its place with my soci text. and my nm1101e is sharing with my nm2102. the laj will get a file of its own. and a clear folder for all the exercises and tests, because they're all smaller than a4 and difficult to file. and I think there's a ziplock sort of clear folder right? I would really need that otherwise if my file gets overturned, it'll be absolute trouble.

today I ran into gwen too! ran into her at the library, because I meant to settle the stupid book. and the librarian is super duper cute. and she's such a nice old lady too. I love all these librarians at the chinese library. they are so nice. and she was chasing me home upon knowing that I have a paper tomorrow. so funny. gwen and I were laughing like crap. and after I ran into gwen, I followed her downstairs to her bench at the forum, since the librarian I was looking for wasn't in at first. and gwen was sharing table with tse yin. what a coincidence.

and gwen couldn't believe she's 3rd year. don't worry, it shocked me half to death too. but I realised that there are quite a number of year 3s taking laj1201. somehow everybody seems like a freshman to me somewhat. but there are so many of them who are actually year 2 and year 3.

and honestly, although the previous post is SO ridiculous and an obvious form of my obsession and absolutely insanity,

แ - a as in ham
ฮ - h as in hut
ร - r as in...r lah. ก์ - the little thingy on top renders the consonant below silent.
–ี - ee as in see

hæriː, it spells. because thai vowels go anywhere either on top, below, left or right of the consonant.

I really have nothing better to do. it's his messenger nick, if you're wondering. which is why long time ago, sarah told me it has no meaning. but it does, in a funnier way.

har-ry [har-ee]
- verb (used with object)
1. to harrass, annoy, or prove a nuisance to by or as if by repeated attacks; worry: He was harried by constant doubts.
2. to ravage, as in war; devastate: The troops harried the countryside.
- verb (used without object)
3. to make harrassing incursions.

I must be insane. it's time to sleep dear. I don't know why I just did what I did.

may the forces of miyavi be with you @ 0150 boulevard of broken dreams - utada hikaru

Take Free Advanced Big 45 Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

so in summary.

quiet, reclusive, withdrawn, gunshy, socially comfortable, doesn't lead, plays safe, private, stealthy, invisible, loves solitude, respectful, helpful, plays by the rules, gets along with others, in tune with others, agreeable, socially conscious, kinda selfish, half cold hearted and half warm hearted, planner, lazy, rule abiding, anal, cautious, half irrational and half logical, detail obsessed, scheduled, calm, unfazed, content, even tempered, needs fast gratification, thick skinned, maintains composure, emotionally contained, demanding, emotionally volatile, intellectual, analytical, lacks new ideas, art and beauty lover, intellectually independent, self searching, half dull and half iconoclast, dreamer, mental explorer.

if you're wondering about the halves, it's not my fault they gave me 50% on those areas. really.

may the forces of miyavi be with you @ 0114 boulevard of broken dreams - utada hikaru

Global Personality Test Results

Stability (63%) moderately high which suggests you are relaxed, calm, secure, and optimistic.
Orderliness (43%) moderately low which suggests you are, at times, overly flexible, improvised, and fun seeking at the expense of reliability, work ethic, and long term accomplishment.
Extraversion (33%) moderately low which suggests you are reclusive, quiet, unassertive, and secretive.

Take Free Global Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

and a string of words they used to describe me: introverted, secretive, reclusive, tough, non social, observer, fearless, solitary, libertarian, detached, does not like to lead, outsider, abides the rules, mind over heart, good at saving money, does not like to stand out, does not make friends easily, self sufficient, not aggressive, likes the unknown, unconcerned with external opinion, strong, abstract, independent, very intellectual, analytical, high self control

not bad. not bad indeed.

may the forces of miyavi be with you @ 1555

I bade soci farewell some 5 hours ago. but somehow I think I wrote some rubbish in there. and I think my question 3 answer sounds the most sociological. partly because I just took everything from the readings and threw it splat at them. thereabout. I had read the readings on that topic the best anyway. but I think majority of that population did that question.

went to the ssa forum for the heck of it. somebody indeed posted a post-exam post. and she took her hat off to those who asked for a 2nd booklet. that wasn't took difficult, in my opinion. I myself had used all the way till the 2nd last page of my own booklet. so enlarge my chicken scratches a little, increase my cancellations aaaand voila I'd need another booklet.

I take my hat off to those who left the hall halfway. there was this person who left really really early. like after the first hour or something. and because I was in the last row, everybody came clomping by my row since the row on my right was empty. and I mean CLOMP. the stinking floor must be hollow.

but never mind. that's one exam down. that's my most tiring essay. I pity the felle who marks my script though. my handwriting is so bad today. so bad. even my matric number looks bad. God please give whoever marks my paper good eyes okay. he/she very poor thing.

and it poured like crap today. crys and I attribute it to shaney. this is exercising the shaney imagination. AHAHA. blame him.

and the library called my house. looks like my pride did not suffer sufficiently under my friends. it must continue to suffer under my family. ah well. a lesson well learnt, though. albeit painful. and upsetting. and I really cried. really I did.

my mother washed barang today. and that little doggie ain't soft anymore. oops. but at least it's clean. I guess that's the problem with non machine washable soft toys. they become unsoft toys.

somehow I feel as though I'm trying to squeeze something out of my brain. I feel like calling for civilisation. and denise is online! suddenly there's civilisation. AHAHA. but she has a 9am paper tomorrow. she should sleep.

I should sleep too. I don't even know why I'm blogging at all. and now denise has given me something to write.

please don't ask me whether he walks around inside his house or outside. the area where he lives is mostly hdb, so I assume inside his house. but that is completely not my concern anyway.

maybe you're wondering why I'm so excited about that. but seriously I'm sick of studying and looking at the notes. even though they may not have fully been absorbed, but I'm so tired of thinking OH the exams are coming and I must sit down and study through all this stuff in front of me even though I think they're half boring and it's driving up the wall but I cannot get out of the house.

but I'm not as deluded as sarah. she's such a funny little girl. 17 already but still so funny. cute, though. because she's naturally so. she wore so nicely today for church and everybody thought she was going out on a date or something. but actually she just dressed so prettily because she wanted to delude herself into thinking she was going out later when actually she has decreed self-confinement because she has a lot of homework and a lot of tests to study for.

and I'm feeling a bit cuckoo tonight. stress ah. ahahaha. but I lack sleep. I must turn in earlier tonight. and try to arrange my sleeping pattern. otherwise I'll die on thursday morning. these few nights I've been sleeping late. maybe they are signs of stress. AHAHA. exams, exams exams. was just writing to my buddy. exams have been so regimented throughout our lives that uni exams pose a huge threat to most of us. we suddenly find ourselves asking incessantly about the format, what's going to come out, how we should answer the questions, mark allocation. we used to know these things. we used to memorise these things and practice our writing according to these parameters.

and suddenly we don't have them anymore. suddenly they've all disappeared. we are left to our own devices to think of how we shall tackle the questions, questions that we aren't exactly sure of. the past year papers don't help -- they only serve to scare us, because every semester's syllabus is slightly different, and the focuses of each semester can't stop changing. and so we lose that little security we had in the past.

I think somehow or another all singaporeans who have gone through the full education system are controlling. they want to ensure that everything works this particular way, and makes sure that these things work in this manner at the time they want.

what was I reading the other day? somebody was typing about singaporeans being so result oriented, never mind whether you're primary 6 or jc. hmmm. who was it? never mind.

(and I don't know why I'm talking to twinkle about homosexuality. it's all hyde's fault, which is equal to denise's fault, since I changed the display picture for her. oops. poor child. denise, that is.)

and just read ky's latest entry. the ku klux klan. I remember reading about them in our sec 2 literature text. yeah the all famous roll of thunder, hear my cry. I never knew it was a famous text until much later when I began using sparknotes and realising that this book is listed and it's rather popular. and I suppose because of that, the kkk is such a distant concept. she says that they're going to have a rally in bloomington, which is where she is. it's a response to the virginia tech shooting and all the asians are staying in, which is a fantastic idea. God knows what these people may do.

that's why sometimes although it can be singaporean ignorance that keeps us in singapore, thinking we're the best place on earth and there's nowhere else we would want to go, it is knowledge of things like that that keep us here too. perhaps we are too sheltered and ought to kick ourselves out and experience these. but there are some things better left unexperienced, I suppose. I don't know really.

and I think I should sleep. he's suddenly gone offline on me AGAIN (the rude child) and denise came on just for that fleeting moment. crystal's finally gone to bed. she should have some time ago. 9am paper! ah well.

and I should sleep. yes indeed I should. I'm sick and tired of reading about singapore. yet read I must. YAWN.

but I have a feeling that I'll lie on the bed and not be able to sleep. what bad attitude I have.

and I found that the original singer of uruha's RIDICULOUS LINDA!LINDA! recording is actually THE BLUE HEARTS. AHAHAHA.

here to keep my internet alive and running so that my dearest cousin can download all the anna tsuchiya he can from me.

he suddenly had the urge to listen to something he doesn't understand the other day, and after a small selection of songs I sent, aka japanese songs, he decided on anna tsuchiya and got stuck.

and so now I'm sending the last 2 of her 2nd album. which means that actually he still has her first album to go, including a small string of songs that were released in conjunction with nana, since anna is supposed to be the singing voice of the anime version of oosaki nana.

and I'm really good at long sentences. so good that I don't realise that they're this long until I think of it and go check out where the sentence started and where it ended to find that it's so incredibly longwinded and I forgot the commas for this sentence as well.

on another unrelated note, I went to tokyo yesterday. AHAHA. I've been telling a few people this. because yesterday I decided to study my js, mainly starting from tokugawa period (since there wasn't all that much further in front, because I think hislop decided to just focus a lot on tokugawa and meiji and after), and then my japanese language stuff. did another couple of papers yesterday, to find my grammar really halfway there only. still confused over certain things. but clearing up, clearing up. so that spells good stuff.

and then after that I had dinner with buddy. what I eat? japanese food. AHAHA. my goodness. so it was a day of japanese history, language and food. oh and my music! my music. got hooked on conceived sorrow again. I'm so determined to learn how to sing that song. I'm still stuck at the bridge. waileth. not my fault that kyo is whispering into the mic. so I wanted to rip the live version (albeit sung a little offkey at times) that I have, but I couldn't, because windows movie maker cannot read .vob. which makes me sad. VOB!! after the craze about .avi that came firstly in divx and then xvid, the next codec that I needed to get was the .vob one. then after I settled the vob problem in came the h264. wah lao.

sometimes I hate all this encoding crap. can't they settle on a more universal one and work at it. but noooo they've thrown away mpegs for good. and then disguised all the divx files under avi, a super old extension that used to work in any program without updated codecs.

but of course, nothing beats the huge recording that lian sze sent the other day. she had finished arranging and recorded her song, and so she exported the file and uploaded it on yousendit. I was expecting an awful midi file, actually, but sam see sent me the link to a larger file, so I thought okay yay it's mp3 or something.

I stared at the file size on my little chat window very very carefully. I wasn't wrong -- it said 45mb.

AND LIKE WHAT ON EARTH WOULD BE FORTY FIVE MEGABYTES?! okay calm down. she exported the file as a .WAV file. I couldn't believe it. my sister and I were wondering for a long long time what she could have done to make it 45mb. and it was 45mb only because she zipped it up. when we unzipped the file to reveal the original file, we found that the wav file itself was 51mb. my goodness. my sis and I were thinking "wah she make video of herself recording ah!!"

but besides the point. I converted it to wma, 320kbps and voila. FOUR MEGABYTES. 4.11mb, to be exact. AHAHA. that's like one zero off the original size. my goodness.

and since we're still at this digital topic. my buddy had posted a small entry on the canon ixus. I think it's the same one that valerie bought for ian. the canon digital ixus 7.1 megapixel. but she bought this orangey hued one. very pretty camera. it only cost her 500, if I don't remember wrongly, when it should have cost about 700. but if I'm not wrong the ixus has hit a higher megapixel now. I'm not sure if it's hit 10 yet. whatever. I think my family should get a new camera. my old one is going really cuckoo and cranky and having mood swings. and not reading stuff and not reacting as a camera should. yes it's digital, and we bought it when digital kinda first came out. so it's only 3.5 megapixel and no fancy stuff. which is why I learnt via photoshop all the fancy stuff in the world. AHAHA. or at least good enough fancy stuff.

and how do I know my bloody camera is not working properly anymore? because in my last minute attempt to complete my nm portfolio, I needed to edit a snapshot. and so I went about setting the stuff right and all, making sure the silly thing had battery power to begin with, and then it refused to take any pictures. it just simply went on strike. which utterly infuriated me. but no choice. so I simply merged 2 of my working pictures together to create the same effect. luckily the last time I'd taken a bunch of extra shots to consider using. my goodness.

which brings me to my next point (oh that line sounded familiar): I've finally passed up my portfolio. so that means riddance to nm2208! yays! I ran into li ting soon after she passed up hers and we were both like ALRIGHT WE FINALLY GOT RID OF IT. ahaha. poor mr reddy. it's not that we really hated the module. it's just that the amount of work sucked. seriously. none of us were particularly irritated with the module itself -- in fact it was fun, tutorials were fun, people were good. but the work, the work. amidst all our other projects and stuff to do, this was bad.

"And along with globalisation comes transnationalism, where its possible, under flexi citizenship schemes, to live in 2 or more societies simultaneously, so to speak, which leads to my final point about…

which makes me curious to ask: why are you moving to australia? (or at least that's what shane told me.) if it's too personal it's okay.
Nah, I ain’t “moving” to Australia. I have PR status there, and PR is, in a way, the thing of the future when it comes to flexi citizenship, because you get the same rights as a citizen (except voting rights), and you can live anywhere you want in the world while maintaining PR status. So in a way, I am a flexible citizen who is making use of various nation-states’ immigration policies to achieve maximum benefits. Of course, it does give me the option to move to Australia in the future if I choose to; but at the moment, I’m unsure. Moving is never an easy option, and that’s why more countries are allowing dual citizenships to (i) facilitate their citizens choices, and (ii) ensure that they don’t lose them. Because the more you constrain them, the more you’ll find that they’ll simply leave the country in search of a “better” one that gives them more priviledges, such are “pragmatic” Singaporeans and others. Flexi citizenship is thus a pragmatic way of keeping one’s options open in a globalised and increasingly borderless world."

which, is perhaps what the government should consider, rather than trying to make their merlion more exciting.

was discussing with buddy about running overseas. haha. something I wouldn't do for long term, I suppose. perhaps I'm really too sheltered. and I should kick myself outta this silly little puny island and stop thinking that I know a lot.

but while that was daniel's final point, it isn't mine. my final point, is on penguins. er yeah, penguins.

well denise was on her wikipedia browsing thing again, and chanced upon little miss curious, and told me she was told by harry to shut up because she was asking too many questions. and since denise is self-proclaimed princess of the peach blossom island, she wanted to execute the boy. but I 'begged his pardon' and so she decided to exile him to the antartica so he will spend all his life talking to penguins. I told her to exile danny along, so that he would learn not to abuse them in computer games. she said okay, and wanted to exile the econs professors along as well. then upon thinking of the sudden surge in male population on the south pole, she said it would be so gay down there. and then we went on going off tangent and after I had said goodnight, she suddenly popped up with this link.

and I should go back to studying. just a few more readings and I'm thereabout done with js, I guess. for now. I still have my js notes to cover, which, by the way, are in a complete mess. I haven't filed anything so far.

and actually I was supposed to think about ssa today. perhaps I will do that later tonight instead.

may the forces of miyavi be with you @ 1815 lucy - anna tsuchiya (it's going over and over in my head for some reason)

went to school today to scan all my stuff. and now finally learning journal assignment 1-6 are done. but there's still 7, which I should be doing now. but it's so awfully hot and humid now. and I just want to sleep. but my hair needs drying.

but at least today I've finally made all the notes for my jap lang! and I printed all the past year papers and started doing them. and I embarked on the js history readings. actually they aren't that bad. I was just unwilling to read them. I've pretty much endured the geisha and samurai readings rather well, so I don't see why this one would be bad.

and then at around 3 plus or so I began to stone. and began wanting somebody I knew to come by and say hello, so that I would either wake up, or at least be a little distracted and rest my brain, then go back to studying. but nobody came, and minrui was all the way at the library. my mp3 player was practically running flat, so I didn't listen to it at all, and my handphone was half dead. so I continued to stone. stone so hard that suddenly

ahaha. so much for wanting somebody I knew to walk past. of all people, really. and so since stoning and wishing seemed to be such dangerous things, I decided GOSH go back to studying. I really woke up man. (but I would like to add that the boy looked terrible in whatever he was wearing today.)

so I went back to studying, and after writing more notes and being really properly absorbed in what I was supposed to be doing, as well as enjoying the music coming out from the laptop from the next table (luckily they were playing pretty decent music), you can pretty much guess what happened.

and then after that, xuan-san came along. goodness me that boy is a mess. and he really beats me too. year 3 soci major, previously from science stream (and couldn't make it there and so came to fass), speaks in a few spats of chinese (despite saying he hates chinese), has the ability to talk marx and kant, but then goes for sep because he wants to see snow.

but boy can he talk. he's better than chatterbox though. at least he 1. changes topic more often, 2. lets you talk too. which makes for better conversation. just that he's a tad loud. but one funny boy. I can't believe he's 4 years older than I am.

and if you really want to talk about it, I don't believe a lot of these guys are older than myself.

and I really need to sleep. I just killed my computer, and I don't remember the last song I heard.

completed reading my reply from daniel. after a spat of mails that seemed to have successfully pissed both of us off awfully, I sent such a civilised mail, and he's sent an equally civilised and rather friendly email back.

talking shop helps a lot. and being so official. and asking that last more 'personal' question at the end in that awfully nice non-intrusive way seems to help.

and then this morning I continued on with my readings and found a couple more answers to some of my unsure points. oops. and he's directed me there. like double oops. young lady here hasn't finished her readings. I've officially 'finished' the darn packet for ssa, but I've skipped like 5 readings or so, I think. out of 24 official readings. I read a squee bit of the last bunch of readings that aren't going to be examined. quite interesting actually. then again, that's because it's new media. heh. all the website stuff and globalisation via the internet. I basically pretended industrialisation doesn't exist, banged through family and gender (after a while it sounds the same) then religion (which also sounded the same because they talk about the same few policies and use the same terminology and bring up the same quotes). then finally migration, which I didn't exactly complete either, but still banged through them anyway. so now my packet has pinky highlights here and there. I'm rather proud of myself.

I will reply daniel perhaps tomorrow. yes I'm still going to reply him. since I've read those readings he's pointed me to. and also, it seems I still have commonsensical answers. hmmm. the line is still very thin, I feel, between saying something entirely commonsensical and something that has a sociological slant to it. not very good eh.

and now it's nm full force!!! I've completed assignment 4 and 5's learning blog entries! so happy! and assignment 6 close to completion.

update! assignment 6 DONE! so now it's left with assignment 7. oh my gosh. this is going to take SUCH A LONG TIME. I shall do up my assignment 1-6 proper now. haha. so much for left with assignment 7.

may the forces of miyavi be with you @ 1824 kimi ni funky monkey vibration - miyavi

my goodness. I finally found out what was wrong with my blog. seems like atspace has a bunch of new word filters in place which basically 'censored' my blog. which is stupid. because the word list is very dumb. but I can't tell you the word list and how dumb it is because if those words appear on my page they will disallow me to upload it.

so I suggest that whenever you find that my blog is not updated in more than 5 days or so, refer to my livejournal. it's at kamui-naomi.livejournal.com. and when you arrive and find that there are gaps in the dates, it's because my lj is part-friends. so only some of you would see the entries.

1. reply dannyboy. YES I HAVE ANSWERS FOR HIM. and I will answer. and I will talk shop and nothing else.

oh and denise if you're reading this, I miss you! because there's nobody online anymore after 11 plus! =(

april 12th. that magic date. where my storybook project was due, and so was js. and no kurseth, staring at suicide at 2 in the morning isn't all that fun, despite my interest in the subject.

and I had some stuff to say. suddenly don't remember. the only thing I remember now is that I went for dinner with buddy last night, and we kept calling the same waitress again and again. poor sophia. but she's nice. the ms chuan lookalike has disappeared, and so have a few of the old faces. and that blockhead is a real blockhead. so we decided to call only sophia, since many of the other waitresses were so new, and one of them couldn't even take orders nor answer the phone because she was only a trainee. fantastic. but no matter.

then when we went to pay, I think because sophia has seen us for SO LONG (we've been going to ichiban boshi for like the past year or something, I think), to the point where there was once the staff actually led us straight to our favourite counter seat because "aiyah those two always sit there!", and so she asked us

she must have wanted to ask that question for a damn long time. well technically buddy does (well nafa's one stop down) and I like city hall area. we've always gone there. that's why while orchard is still not entirely familiar when it comes to me and my absolute lack of directional sense, city hall area's fine. I'm not lost in suntec anymore (I'll never forgot the first time I went there and went HUH?! WHERE AM I), marina square's alright now, even though it was a tad confusing after its renovation. and all this time walking to esplanade and vch and all. and I know how to walk above ground too! ahaha. yes my buddy has dragged me (almost literally) from building to building above ground (she just likes it and I don't know why) and I've learnt somehow. somehow. ahaha.

oh and remembered something else. went for our final nm2208 lecture today, and then mr reddy's son came along. and boy does that little boy deserve a slap. you know honestly if my son ever grows up to grab things, scream MINE and refuse to put it down, wail NO at me and actually shriek at me to GO AWAY

and don't tell me things like he's only a kid. a 4 year old at that. I think. thereabout. he was running about all over the place in the lecture hall, making random noises (oh fine I forgive that) and absolutely disruptive. absolutely. children like that will make me slap them, really. it's not that I insist that kids should be seen and not heard and that they ought to have absolute control over their movement and speech. no. it's just that kids ought to be taught from young where they can run, where they can shout and play and where they can't. there are just some places where they ought not to be let loose and run wild. there are places for that sort of activity.

because if children, as young as they are, cannot understand how they should behave where, they'll never understand. that's what I think, at least. and they are to be taught how to behave at which place at what time because it's for their good. for safety, for consideration. not that "you be good and I'll give you a cookie". that's rubbish too.

and I've been putting kiss me, the japanese version, on repeat mode. yes there is a japanese version! by sixpence none the richer themselves. and she sounds like she's learnt japanese before or something. her pronounciation is exact. that 'r' sound, that 'f' sound. everything. so perfect. and it sounds natural in japanese too.

so why didn't olivia ong choose to sing the japanese version. AHAHA. well it was one of the songs that night I recognised. if not for the fact that she sang quite a few songs I know and mostly like, I would have fallen dead asleep. I am so sorry to twinkle (and vicks somehow) but her friends are just better. heh.

just roughly went through the online student feedback nonsense aka the teacher evaluation exercise. the pictures are terrible you know. except otsuka sensei's. the rest are either obituary-ish photos, or simply a laugh. and I'm too lazy to fill in the qualitative parts. I will, really. it's your chance to say-everything-you-ever-wanted-to-but-never-did-for-some-reason. really it is. so we should all make full use of that option. uh huh.

and I have a few options now. either I 1. go draw up a study timetable, 2. do my learning journal, 3. go do some readings of some sort, 4. help minrui to wail at danny. but actually, I want somebody I want to talk to come online.

I'm such an escapist. (but I still want someone to come on messenger and talk to me. just for a while?)

may the forces of miyavi be with you @ 2129 kiss me (japanese version) - sixpence none the richer

continued: I am oddly awake for the hour I slept last night. vicks is right. something's keeping me awake, eh? I don't know really. I really should be doing my learning journal. I've sent the email. and I'm talking to crys and aileen.

okay neither now, because aileen and I can't seem to talk very well on messenger. face to face much better. ahaha. some people it's like that. for most, really. and crys went offline. I suspect she will appear later. she probably got cut or something.

I'm actually rather happy the projects are done. never mind 2208 now. 2208 is like studying for exams. it's non-examinable after all. and actually it's not too bad that the deadline got pushed back. yes it gives room for procastination, but hey if I had to do 2208 at the same time, I'd probably go REALLY cuckoo over js. seriously.

happy birthday to vicks, obviously. and to leng hui, and to meghna and madhuri, and to may. oh and to bao lun.

and actually I haven't anything to type here. just that last night I talked to twinkle, for the first time in like a month. he disappeared from the online realm because he just "didn't feel like [signing in]".

but thanks to zonghan to save me from my morbidity. honestly after reading the stuff I printed the other day for js project, the more insane and deluded I think these people are. never mind zonghan's call for me to be an objective sociologist. I enjoy being ethnocentric, can? because it is near impossibility to look at all this in front of you and take it in impassively. although obviously sources aren't completely unbiased either, and the language is sometimes skewed, but there are those parts which are more factual in nature and less bias sounding, and you really wonder what on earth went wrong with these people.

the divine wind loses its divinity
and disappears into the dark
the light of the fireflies which spring
up on the night of our reunion

edit: just watched the laruku performance on music station just on the 6th. they performed their latest, seventh heaven. it's an okay song, not particularly mind grabbing nor heart stopping but good for live performances. and something has happened to hyde's voice. I don't know whether to call it good or not, but something's happened.

somebody taught him open throat, open diaphragm, open EVERYTHING. and he sounds odd. not horrible, really. in fact he's got a good voice. but it's weird. after listening to hyde for the past 7 years, this is really really weird. seriously.

just a word before I open microsoft word and continue on my quest to explain the history of suicide in Japan, from samurai seppuku to kamikaze to internet suicide cults.

honestly I don't know what to say. just that today was good. my last TA, and I forgot to memorise my conversation. luckily it isn't too difficult. just a tad long. but still alright. and I fail math. 350+150=450 to me. I was wondering, eh there's something wrong with the numbers I just said man. but whatever. and then my last js tutorial, which was nonsense also. we were just talking amongst ourselves, since there wasn't anything really to discuss.

then I had to wait for wei hong. at least he appeared. the last time we were supposed to meet he completely overslept and didn't want to come down. but today we talked a lot. and I mean a lot. we just talked on and on about the oddest things on earth for like 2 hours plus straight. not bad. and I realised how bad my chinese has become. because his is terrific. and mine has become terrible. and we were laughing about becoming part time tutors in nus, and he suggested I go teach chinese. and I was like HAR because my mandarin is slowly going down the drain. he asked if it was from lack of usage, and I said no, it's from the lack of examination. ha.

but all in all although we really didn't know what to practice for oral, since our oral format is actually more of an impromptu sort of thing rather than a given topic we could practice, it was fun spending time to talk to a new friend. I was like

"我们继续讲下去，是不会练习到口试的。" (if we carry on talking, we'll never practice for oral.)

"不要紧啊，我们可以练默契。" (it's okay, we can practice 'tacit understanding' (that's how babelfish translated it).)

AHAHA. tacit understanding. well that's a way of putting it. it's a sort of inter-coordination and mutual understanding and being on the same wavelength sort of idea. 默契.

and I should go get js done. it's already past midnight. get it done within the next 2 hours and it's lalaland time.

may the forces of miyavi be with you @ 0007 kuroi namida (deep sadness version) - anna tsuchiya

I sent them an email each, considering it's strange to call them at home to scream at them both, and their handphones are probably flooded with greetings from their 2 million friends. those two have a shitload of friends. or rather, a shitload of people who know them. I don't suppose people have a lot of real proper friends. but that's good and okay. so long as you have at least one real proper friend. that's better than a crapload of acquaintances who don't say anything to you until your birthday or when they need to do a project with you or when they need people to fill in surveys.

it seems my blog audience is larger than I thought. seems. but it's funny to go take a peek at my guestbook now and then to find some new comment by different people. and I don't think it is all that difficult to leave a comment on my blog what. I hate tagboards, so you'll never find one here. and I'm so lazy to handle haloscan. so leave comments in my guestbook.

and guestbook is such an old term. I remember when it was all the rage when free webhosting became super popular. all the geocities and don't know what else came up with basic free webhosting, which started absurdly at like 15mb only (which was quite a lot at that time) and those lousy pagebuilding software, since frontpage wasn't exactly the most popular software around. and then everybody was looking for guestbooks and stashing them on their pages. I did too.

so funny man. and my old websites are so ugly. I can't believe it. I'm glad I've taken them all down, except of course, this one.

and my body clock is all messed up. yesterday I went to church and so I kept thinking it was sunday. so I repeatedly told myself it's good FRIDAY. friday. kinyoubi. then today I absurdly went to school. I couldn't believe it. I went to school to have lunch at business canteen at noon on a saturday. what on earth man. so I bumbled all the way to school in the sweltering heat. gosh. I felt groggy by the time I reached there, and completely walked past sherwin in the canteen.

and then that boy ah, should be a taxi driver if he should find himself without a job. seriously. he drives at like 90-100kmh, constantly changes lanes because he's annoyed with the slightly slower vehicle in front (I'm sure that car in front is like 80kmh, which isn't all that bad. which is the freaking speed limit!!), and then he goes TSK at cars that aren't travelling at good speeds, goes 'basket' at the cars in his way, and his left hand is always ready to wham the horn. doesn't that sound like a taxi driver. just short of that annoying ting-tong device in the taxi that is supposed to signal to the driver that he's driving over the speed limit. but they have obviously become immune to that annoying noise and drive over the speed limit all the same. it utterly annoys me really. that incessant ting-tong ting-tong. grah.

but I'm sorry for making you a bitch of a driver. because of my terrific instructions, the poor child was like turning right and left at will, sometimes crossing like 4 lanes at one shot. and overtaking at will too. not my fault that he doesn't know how to get around city hall mrt area. but my fault for saying I know exactly how to get there. well okay yes I knew exactly how to get there, just not by car. and the roads there are so messy and I hadn't much idea which road led where. but we got there anyway and really really made him a bitch of a driver. heh.

and then last night daddy said, "ah girl you free on sunday night?" and inside me I was thinking isn't today sunday? then I thought again and realised OH it's good FRIDAY. friday. AHAHA. and then tomorrow is sunday and it doesn't feel like it. because I went to school today and felt like a weekday. gosh.

and the storybook is finally printed. now it's the crappy part. literally. the crapping part. after we're done with the book, we shall talk about the reasons behind all we did. what a laugh. but the uncle was rather nice. the auntie wasn't very helpful, partly because we didn't exactly know all the jargon she used. but the uncle was nicer as the hours ticked by because he got less busy and then his mood went up a little. he was rather annoyed at first because there were so many people, and he had to get them done fast. and then one of the regular staff was on leave, and this boy, some relative of theirs, came to help instead. but it seems he made it half worse somehow, and was scolded repeatedly. and it turns out the boy was an art student at nafa or something. and the uncle was like AIYOH this boy AH terrible... and insisted that the boy should hide his face because our book turned out so nice. AHAHA. I don't really think our book is of top standard, honestly. and if the boy should hide his face, I think he must either be of very low standard, or he just didn't show the uncle his good ones.

and my eyes are falling out again. tomorrow is sunday, and must wake up early. so what am I still doing here?! and I still have i-concert rehearsal tomorrow! we're doing 2 songs I like! yay!

and uh, beyond that, sam see has thrown me ariela and zerline. uh yes very odd names. but basically samantha my dearest has given me two little girls. and they are so gigglish. AHAHA. but they're nice obedient and funny little girls. one 13 one 14. oh gosh. (and how many times must I say this. I can't teach piano. really.)

and I should seriously go sleep. otherwise my eyeballs will seriously hit the floor.

a solemn song indeed, as joanna put it. but I suppose sometimes the melody and mood isn't the point. lyrics are the point.

but just sometimes. because sometimes it's better not to know the lyrics. but that's only applicable to certain jrock lyrics. heh. but amazing grace is a good song. really. and the 白巨塔 version was WOAH.

and it's good friday today. the day we remember our Saviour's death on the cross to save the world from perishing in hell.

and to kurseth if you're reading: the title of the movie we watched for js1101 is called GO! made in 2001. =)

P.S. I should stop playing that drat penguin game. was feeling bored and im-ed crystal, who in turn directed me to orisinal. I realised the last time I played a game there was before my computer crashed. which was about a year ago. my goodness. and how do I know that? because my old screen resolution was 800x600 and I couldn't see the top of some of the games. and my present resolution is 1024x768. and it's weird to be able to see the top part of the flash file. really.

and although I'm on a roll for the stupid penguin game, I think I'll go sleep. or maybe I'll play a few more games. AHAHA. each game takes a minute, after all. but as usual, many one minutes make many minutes. and I should really have been doing work. but as usual I'm so lazy. so so so lazy. but I should sleep. seriously. otherwise I'm going to resemble a zombie tomorrow.

but you know what? I already resemble one NOW. I have this dead face. and what's with people on messenger tonight man. aileen was like half dead today and went off early. hf tried to start a ridiculous conversation. jon still hasn't told me what time spa is tomorrow. crys had a headache and didn't talk much to me. vicks went off without saying byebye. zonghan is completely not responding. twinkle isn't online. and neither is denise.

may the forces of miyavi be with you @ 0113 dani california - red hot chilli peppers

happy 21st to avril. wished her just some minutes past midnight. heh. that was one strange obsession I never really figured out. and not as unhealthy as I thought it was. ah well.

and actually my brain is half falling out. I should go to bed. but my hair is still kind of wet.

dannyboy. last tutorial. crystal crashed. we died at the back. class ended by 3pm. I got back my term paper. and daniel writes SO MUCH OF COMMENTS inside. crys was like OMG what is his problem because he seriously wrote a lot. and then somebody asked him what SOB meant, and he was like OH that stands for 'sense of belonging', which is basically my essay question. but because he writes so much of comments, he actually has to resort to such acronyms. I give up.

and then since the class ended like an hour early, he said we could flip through our term papers and see if we had any questions for him and he'd stay in class to answer our questions. and then there was this girl who came for makeup lesson, but didn't tell dan so he didn't bring her term paper along. so dan asked if she could wait till he was done with all our questions about the term paper and then they'll go to his office and get her paper. but we were taking quite some time, so I was like "why don't you just go to your office and take her paper and come back?" and what did he say?

and in that HUH it's bleeding troublesome super far lazy to walk face and tone! 不可理喻！

I didn't want to argue with him. never mind. and then in the end I finished all the comments and didn't want to ask him anything, because I was tired and just happy I did decently and decided I'll ask him another day, perhaps when I've studied my readings more. so crys and I got up and headed for the door. I waved, and he asked, "hey no questions for me?" I told him I'd ask when I'm more coherent. he laughed and said, "okay byebye then" and then he looked at crystal as we were going out of the door and said

we were a little too stunned to react immediately. but we walked out of the door and went OMG DID HE JUST SAY THAT??!!

we sat down at a bench between the classroom and his office to wait for our next class. and crystal was on the verge of flailing. and so when danny came out we decided to ask him how he knew her. his explanation?

"both of you always together what." and addressing crys, "and you are shane's student!"

oh oh forgot forgot! the boy CUT HIS HAIR! SO SAD! and then he geled it all up and it was SO UGLY today.

he used to have mtv hair that would fly in the wind. 飘飘然 was what mae described such hair. and long long fringe and he'd have that gay moment where he gently uses his fingers to sweep it to the back. indeed hair wasted on a male, and crystal has concurred that his voice is wasted on a face like his.

poor child, slammed left right centre by the 2 of us. but his voice is really nice.

I'm beginning to be very, very, very tired of this storybook project. aka my nm2208 final assignment, that is.

and I'm getting tired of knowing I have work to do. like js, the pile of nm2208 I have to do, and studying.

not perhaps, actually. if I DO concentrate on working then I'll clear faster AND feel better. SOON. ahaha.

魔法。　I wish I had some. suga shikao, give some out from your song, will ya?

(however, I must meet him someday. I will not carry on being an internet pal sort of thing like this. it's odd.)

I should be bathing. or at least doing work. but I'm not. and I shouldn't be in front of the computer because my eyes are falling out. and I'm laughing half to bits with ossan ossan ore nanbo. now the title kinda makes more sense to me. AHAHA. I was yawning like half the way home but couldn't fall asleep. felt a little pukish. there's this thing about staying long hours in school and staring at the computer and having my brain and eyes fall out half the way.

and that rubbishy crystal tells me she likes my layout, sans picture. and pray tell what the shit is left? a black background and a white based table with a bunch of ant-like words on it. my goodness.

that, is the strange woman who decided to change sex and become a guy, but yet enter the visual rock world which is half a mess now. the visual rock world used to be men only. and technically, visual kei doesn't limit one to dressing like a woman. the whole idea is to give a visual impact, and the easiest and most appealing was to simply make a man look like a woman. because it's such a turnoff to look ugly, after all. yes it's visually impacting to look really really really ugly too, but nobody would really really really want to do that.

went to the official site. and on seeing some of the other pictures, this he-she isn't all that androgynous after all. quite obviously female still. the cheekbones fail lah. she should have been a rather pretty girl. even prettier than miko. heh. oh yes an all female visual rock band exists! kurseth would be happy about that. 5 young ladies setting up their very own rock band and putting on make up and wearing pretty lolita dresses but it's okay, because they're female after all.

but as the famous quote from mana goes: if a girl can wear a skirt and look pretty, a guy can do the same.

talk about gender equality. HA. they always use a broad term like this. but at the end of it, gender equality isn't about equality in everything -- it's just socioeconomical status. oh whatever. I'm not in the mood to talk about this.

may be the force be with you man. decided to use tables for a change. the layout shouldn't screw up. shouldn't. unlike crystal's problem with the firefox browser. AHAHA. so now I have a different colour for the words section. which should make all this easier to read, I think. I think.

talking to zonghan. or rather, trying to. he seems rather trying today. there are days he doesn't mind talking a little more. today seems difficult. oh well. I said hello after all. and I am so tired today. went rather reluctantly for the SF sports day at maplewood park (or minton rise park, according to roger), but I had my fair share of fun. like WHO IS JOSEPHINE?! ahaha.

what happened was that all us girls were playing captain's ball and then for some strange reason, a few of them heard us calling one of the girls josephine. but there is no josephine amongst us. so xinying began calling everyone of us josephines. she was like HEY are YOU josephine? and after each successful catch by the goalie, she'll say GOOD JOB JOSEPHINE! AHAHA. xinying is a joke sometimes. it's really hard to believe she's older than my sister. sigh.

and then xinying continued asking WHO IS JOSEPHINE? and finally, after trying hard not to laugh at myself, I responded:

which is true. that's my mother's name. but of course, it triggered the michelle story. which is terribly hilarious. the all famous michelle story. AHAHA. and shaney loves michelle half to death because michelle supposedly cooks damn well. ah well danny's parents are peranakan after all. and aileen thinks dannyboy looks like some actor! and I nearly puked all over the floor. I was like whaaa~~??!! terrible, really.

and now that I've proudly completed all my japanese homework (gosh 2 pieces due tomorrow!) and my nm2102 homework, I think I should sleep. otherwise tomorrow I'm never going to wake up for 9am tutorial. and the last time I braved the rain and arrived at 0930. which is really bad, considering that my tutorial was going to end at 0945. like why did I even go, right?

oh crap please don't rain tomorrow. shaney's tutorials are over already. don't rain please. God, can it finally like not rain on mondays? and odd wednesdays? heh. although it makes for good entertainment. we're supposed to visit shaney tomorrow. I hope 1. he's in, 2. he's not busy. he makes fantastic entertainment. poor boy though. I think he really should get taupok to kick the two of us away. ahaha.

oh but before that happens, I found this fantastic miyavi fansite, linked from mr goddess. and it has translations of almost every miyavi song! which is nearly impossible to find, considering that 1. miyavi writes stupid and rubbishy lyrics, 2. miyavi writes using kansai dialect. what's wrong with the kansai dialect? it's basically like making somebody who only knows mandarin to translate a hokkien song. which is madness. oh and he uses japanese youth slang also! which makes things worse, since most of the translators actually do not live in japan.

and so, the whole point of this part is that...I finally found out exactly what ossan ossan ore nanbo is all about. and boy is it stupid. so stupid. I can't believe anybody would actually write something like that.

what a joke. lyrics, okay. LYRICS. and he seriously half sings the above crap and talks some of it. and he happily sings ossan ossan ore nanbo THROUGHOUT the entire song. I take my hat off to the boy. he is amazing. perhaps that's also why I love miya so much. he's so random, so talented, so crazy and so pretty.

Factor		low score	high score
Gregariousness	22%	quiet, reclusive	engaging, socially bold
Sociability	46%	withdrawn, hidden	warm, open, inviting
Assertiveness	42%	timid, gunshy	controlling, aggressive
Poise	54%	uneasy around others	socially comfortable
Leadership	38%	stays in background	prefers to lead
Provocativeness	46%	modest, plays it safe	bold, uninhibited, cocky
Self-Disclosure	42%	private, contained	very open and revealing
Talkativeness	42%	quiet, stealthy, invisible	motor mouth, loud
Group Attachment	34%	loves solitude	prefers to be with others
Understanding	54%	insensitive, schizoid	respectful, sympathetic
Warmth	58%	disinterested in others	supportive, helpful
Morality	70%	break/ignore the rules	play by the rules
Pleasantness	62%	aloof or disagreeable	gets along with others
Empathy	66%	out of tune w/ others	in tune with others
Cooperation	70%	competitive, warlike	agreeable, peaceful
Sympathy	58%	socially inconsiderate	socially conscious
Tenderness	50%	cold hearted, selfish	warm hearted, selfless
Nurturance	46%	self pleasing, me first	people pleasing, me last
Conscientiousness	62%	reckless, unscheduled	careful, planner
Efficiency	42%	unreliable, lazy	finisher, follows through
Dutifulness	58%	leisurely, derelict	strict, rule abiding
Purposefulness	38%	inattentive, undisciplined	prepared, focused
Organization	62%	relaxed, oblivious	detail oriented, anal
Cautiousness	58%	impulsive, spendthrift	restrained, cautious
Rationality	50%	irrational, random	direct, logical
Perfectionism	58%	careless, error prone	detail obsessed
Planning	54%	disorganized, random	scheduled, clean
Stability	70%	easily frustrated	calm, cool, unphased
Happiness	54%	unhappy, dissatisfied	self content, positive
Calmness	62%	touchy, volatile	even tempered, tolerant
Moderation	42%	needs instant gratification	easily delays gratification
Toughness	62%	hypersensitive, moody	thick skinned
Impulse Control	70%	lacks self control	maintains composure
Imperturbability	66%	highly emotional	emotionally contained
Cool-headedness	42%	demanding, controlling	accommodating
Tranquility	34%	emotionally volatile	emotionally neutral
Intellect	66%	instinctive, non-analytical	intellectual, analytical
Ingenuity	34%	lacks new ideas	innovative, novel
Reflection	58%	unreflective, coarse	art and beauty lover
Competence	58%	slow to understand/think	intellectual, brainy
Quickness	58%	intellectually dependent	intellectually independent
Introspection	66%	not self reflective	self searching
Creativity	50%	dull headed	synthesizer, iconoclast
Imagination	62%	practical, realistic	dreamer, unrealistic
Depth	70%	lacks curiosity	mental explorer