18 September 2008 @ 09:32 pm

你快乐吗？  

I was talking to yap mae this afternoon in school (like finally) and she asked me that question. it caught me a little offguard, considering my previous entry. actually I've never really thought about it this way. it was more like I was feeling more settled, more secure, less undecided, less lost. I didn't think about my semesters in school in terms of happiness.

I'm not graduating just yet, but I think I don't hate school anymore. and I have decent friends, decent people around me. I used to think I was a loner kid, but then going through jc taught me that I wasn't really. and then float float float and now the dust has settled. the liquids have separated. a lot of things have become a lot clearer. and I told mae that yes I'm happy. I'm fine in school, fine with school. it's not the most exciting or bouncy time of my life, it's not that it's been full of yays and inebriation throughout -- but it's been good enough. the world became bigger, more exposure, more understanding, but really too little time to think. I didn't even have much time to read this holiday. terrible.

I don't know how else to continue this entry, because I just felt like posting about this and nothing else. I have an urge to photoshop, however. perhaps I should do just that. the maou soundtrack is making me half emo though.

(P.S. went to daiso today, and walked into biroodo no yami. super yay for nice kinki kids song, but then two songs later it was to my horror, black butterfly. and no it wasn't a good idea for takizawa's voice to ring through a rather empty daiso.)

 

 

 

entrust

17 September 2008 @ 11:05 pm

that syndrome.  

as I was telling nore, I think somebody suffers from first semester syndrome. it's that same syndrome that strikes those who asked me if the arts kids dress up very well, and that they're very stressed thinking that they come into a new environment full of people they might not fit in with, or might not stand out from. there is this excitement over what they should say in class, how they should present themselves, how they should interact with others, what sort of clothes they should wear, what they should carry about. sometimes they try to find something special about themselves and try to showcase as much of it as possible.

and because someone's in the laj class, he seems to be trying all things japanese.

I was like that before. my first semester in nus was a disaster. I really think it was. it took the whole semester to get a grip on life and stop losing myself in the crowd. it took me another semester to find my proper footing and think about things that were more important, like exactly what I wanted to do in university, what I wanted out of it, and to do things properly and stop floating about aimlessly.

and by the third semester, I was more or less like the person my friends know me as now. it's my fifth semester, so much more stable now. not everyone loses themselves, not everyone goes through this, but one can tell when others do. it's the new environment I suppose. it takes its toll, it fills your brain. perhaps those least affected are those who go into university as a herd. there are some people like that. that's why you can see like 20 freshmen gathering as one, and then they panic when they find themselves scattered in 13 different tutorials, and cling to each other for dear life through the tutorials, the project groups. and it's usually the same herds that come out of every orientation camp possible.

or so my observations go.

I suppose it's all part of growing up. where you try several things, you want to fit in, you want to be the same. unknowingly there are others like that, so the blind lead the blind, the blind follow the blind and then the road seems longer and longer, until you finally decide to remove the blindfold and find the damn road yourself. there should come a time when you finally decide what you want, decide what you like and what you dislike, decide what you want to believe in, decide what sort of friends you want, decide on many other things. there's no end to finding yourself, and it doesn't help that different events that happen reshape you here and there and change your mindset on several things. but then there are some basic things that you could decide on, and stick to them, because hovering undecided, insecure and uncertain sucks. after a while you really wonder what they heck you're doing.

that was a fairly odd philosophical rant that I haven't done in ages. it's good to rant now and then, I suppose. haven't been thinking about a lot of things lately. there's suddenly mountains of work pouring in from nowhere, and it doesn't help that I keep falling into my escapist mood. and I should really be getting to bed. I've been sleeping so late this semester it isn't doing me any good. and it's a long day tomorrow.

and crystal, this time my eyes are falling out. it's a 6-8pm class' syndrome. after the bus ride home my eyes feel like dropping right out of their sockets. thus I must close my eyelids to ensure that they don't fall out. sleep.

 

 

 

7 hearts | entrust

16 September 2008 @ 11:41 pm

百年先も愛を誓うよ  

01. hanadan

watched hanadan today! like finally. my gosh it's so LONG. with some unnecessary parts, and some really long parts. but it was utterly hilarious. and the theatre behaved pretty well. although I suspect half of the people are like matsujohn fans, another half like oguri shun fans or something. and then suddenly half the theatre converted into straight man fans. or so I think, judging from some of the ooohs and ahhs in the cinema. and I'm wondering if jun's hair will ever get straight again. something tells me no. haha but hey he's a fashion leader of johnny's man -- now everyone has had a perm!

02. midterm madness

had midterm at 8am in the morning and WAH LAO EH cabfare is the most expensive thing on earth. I spent 2 bowls of ramen worth on taxi fare. *angry* and then this woman ah. I really wonder which strange small cave she lives in. and that elmie didn't tell her how midterms work in nus. or at least some sort of suggestion as to how to give out papers and collect them back. nore and I sat there half stunned more than anything else. seriously.

then we were like half mugging japanese and listening to gek lecture at the same time. but hey hey at least we didn't sleep this time. lecturer claims that we'll do pretty decently if we get our presentations straight and study for the test. ON. I'll ganbatte man. my project group doesn't seem too bad anyway.

laj midterm was well, laj midterm. we all expect this. and that nore was still telling me "aiyah you stop studying the itadakimasu and kudasaimasu lah only 2 questions will come out or something loh" like HELLO no loh please. and then after a while I didn't know what to write anymore. and rae still happily asked, "tanoshikatta?" *glares* hahaha if she helped us do the paper then yeah tanoshikatta man. totarii.

03. keigo boy

he amuses me more and more. after a minasama and a tomodachi-san, we now know that his revelation of a d-gray man comic book and otaku-ish excitement over peiwen's limited edition final fantasy VII psp is a facade. he secretly likes and watches JUNJOU ROMANTICA and he watches kame and teppei dramas. and then just now nore informed me he is a yamapi fanboy. what is the world coming to. and we thought nore's friend who wanted to be miyavi was weirded? this one's worse! we are all praying for naoto. naoto, you poor boy. and they are apparently from the same primary school!

the island is too small. I'm terribly convinced.

and I am terribly amused. nore is in a state of trauma because a yaoi fanboy is scary. rin advises that we find him a boyfriend. man. this is disturbing after a while. more disturbing than weng and cheong and their fantastic fantasies.

it is time to sleep. my eyes are closing soon. I shall cheong tb work tomorrow instead. I'm horrible you know. horrible horrible bleaghhhh. YAWN. something tells me I've left something out on this entry but I can't be bothered anymore. time to sleeeeeppppp.

 

 

 

1 heart | entrust

14 September 2008 @ 10:17 pm

tsukareta.  

oh fine yes it's my fault.

so I'm mugging. ugh.

I have an urge to open photoshop and do some graphics. I feel like changing the layout. sorry tsubie. but no inspiration.

I'm just tired of doing my readings. especially when I hit a dry one or a really really tiny print one? my eyeballs feel like falling out. as if they haven't already.

rin has reached japan! yays!

I'm hungry.

I'm so random I don't know why I'm blogging. this is terrible.

I'm going to look like some crazy terrorist again tomorrow. bringing all my barang barang on the bus again. let's see if my laptop can safely seat itself inside my bag, then I'll have one luggage less. the dslr is not heavy. it's just...in the way. and that night I took like 1.8gb worth of raw pictures. I almost died opening them all. but now I understand why jing appreciates adobe bridge. I appreciate it too!

kimi ga ai no hana.

I still love yume monogatari like some insane woman. there are some days I want to do some sort of studies of myself. I have an insane plan to one day line up all my favourite jyannizu and then cut off the hair and the chin and see the similarities. somehow I can see the pattern already. a few fall out but generally they fit. and then the music is just crazy. I've given up trying to do my music taste study already. as nore says, I'm the girl with many weird songs.

ONAKAGASUITAAAAA.

kimi ga ai no hana.

and I am playing my music awfully loud tonight. I'm like trying to blot out all the sounds of the world. and I think it really does. it doesn't help that I've put on a rather loud and noisy playlist.

oh and it's midautumn festival. it rained so I assume the moon's hiding somewhere don't know where never mind where.

aaaaaaannnndddddd happy birthday MIYAVI. the monkey of a rocker/guitarist/vocalist/JUST PLAIN MONKEY hyperactive madnut boy turns uh, 27. can you believe it? it's scary because when due le quartz started he was NINETEEN.

aw man.

yay for random me! GO STUDY. GOSH.

the answer's waiting under your feet. under your feet. under your feet.

 

 

 

entrust

14 September 2008 @ 02:30 am

雁字搦めの愛だったイイ。  

I'm stuck stuck stuck on secret code.

okay I'm listening to jounetsu now. but I've been listening to secret code for like most of the day. and I will get it right this time. it is tokyo SKA paradise orchestra. my gosh. the first time I got the ska and paradise mixed up, then the last entry I actually freaking typed SPA paradise without realising it. I must be a goon.

just sent rin off to japan where she'll have her well deserved break and then she'll be starting school at the time when we're like busiest. nat told her to bring kame back in a box. and we figured kame AND jin in the box would be better -- cheaper shipping anyway. and then I told mel that then they'll have company.

the worst part was when we attempted gyakukaiten. I think only rae could take it. even yingxuan half felt stupid. and then yanqing and naoto were completely clueless as to what we were trying to do, or worse, what we were trying to say.

so tired now. went a little high just now with a whole bunch of us at the airport like some crazy children. and rin is going to see uebooooo. she will see princess ueda for all of us researching like mad nuts in the library, writing our parts for project and rehearsing for project presentations.

uedaaaa~~

my internet has been rubbishy. I don't know exactly what happened. I know I opened something and then after that it was never the same. so irritating. but then I didn't want to restart the comp so I left it in its retarded state. but whatever almost done with whatever I need to do and then I need to freaking sleep. even though my hair is still a little wet. and then and then. this weekend is horribly busy. naoto suddenly fished out a kanji application and I was like WHAT IS THAT. thank goodness though, because I totally forgot about it.

to bed, to bed.

OH AND FOR ALL YOU POOR PEOPLE WHO THINK IT IS MY BIRTHDAY. it is NOT. this is my default online birthday. please refer to my facebook for the actual date kthxbaii.

 

 

 

2 hearts | entrust

11 September 2008 @ 09:12 pm

I seldom bother about this much but  

since the comms have esssploded (okay not really but you get what I mean) with celebratory words and expressions of joy, I suppose as part of declaring myself as one of the fandom I shall do too. dakara.



yay it's been six years since katori shingo congratulated them on their marriage! that was like the funniest part of the whole episode man. haha I actually watched them start, but never bothered about them. until now! it's uh, 5th month into fandom? I think? I was trying to do up my archives last night, because to my horror my archives end at january 2008. and it's freaking september. and I found how fangirlish I have become. entries just prior to entering fandom were short, were simple, slightly more random than this. and the entries were rather infrequent. but I attribute that to work, really. I haven't really updated in a few days properly myself either, because there's stuff to be done. and incidentally, I found an entry that was in february, I think. I actually put up venus' chinese lyrics and was laughing (but also congratulating them) at their chinese. I called them 'johnny's two clowns'. HAHAHA

and I downloaded the clip ripped off jfc that's up at takki.us, kindly subbed by michelle and team. GOSH tsubie clothes peg lion is HILARIOUS. why didn't takki try the ice cream stunt again! he needed like half more than what he ate though, I think. and it's such a bad idea to watch this clip on the bus. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry for tsubie. poor child. who came up with this weirdo idea! and kusano managed 41! he is so small! I have a good mind to screencap that tsubie clothes peg lion. and takki also didn't know whether to laugh or cry, I suppose.

on a slightly unrelated note, I suddenly felt like listening to anniversary this morning. and no it didn't hit me as to what the date was, if you're wondering. I just woke up with a loud KIMI WO AISHITERU inside of my brain and I wanted to listen to it.

only to find that I actually don't have it.

I thought that the last time rin sent me a small pile of mp3s to convert for her presentation included anniversary, but seems like I was wrong. she had sent me harmony of december. nice song too, but I wanted to listen to anniversary. =(( and then nore tried sending me, but halfway through her internet died and then I still don't have the song.

*continues to wail* and then secret code on music station is taking a million years to complete and I don't know why. many more wails. secret code rocks. have I said that already? partly because the single is recorded with tokyo spa paradise orchestra. the other time they came to perform, but then they were under the eleventh hour programme thingy, which meant their performance was from 11pm-12am and that's like no thanks it's too late. =(( but anyway the single rocks with this powerful jazzy style and it's just lovely.

「君を愛してる」そんな人事が
何気ない今日という日が　僕らの記念日

 

 

 

2 hearts | entrust

10 September 2008 @ 01:55 am

uepi02: hell hath no fury like an uke scorned  

hell hath no fury like an uke scorned

pairing: uepi, tomapi, takitsuba, kinki
genre: rubbishier (than the previous one)
notes: there’s a pile of people in this one too. real large pile. I don’t really know why I got them all involved but it’s fun anyway. dedicated to rin and rae who started this weirded fic idea in the first place. but I couldn’t squeeze prisoner of love inside this one.
 

it was new year’s day. all was bright and gay in the jimusho. very gay.

the juniors were all getting high and crazy and they never knew what hit them. from one room to the other, the frenzied screams and howls and madness increased.

ueda, the king (or queen, rather) of sadism, watched as his juniors descended into decadence. what a fun drug, he thought, as he walked into the carpark, looking to see if there were anymore juniors to ambush. after all the drug was easily dispersed – it was freaking gas. all ueda had to do was to spray some into a room and all hell broke loose after about 5 minutes or so. ueda was well protected with a simple mask anyway, so he would just stand there and watch his juniors go into various spastic poses and say the craziest things nobody imagined they would ever say. we won’t write them here. ueda even went as far as to spray it into kanjani’s, news’ and kat-tun’s rooms. he hoped the jimusho building would hold up. he was safe from this garbage, and he’d just watch them descend into their shamelessness, into their true selves off screen.

but ueda wasn’t protected against one thing: yamapi.

suddenly ueda felt his modesty totally outraged, and heard this sloppy voice that started an equally sloppy confession of how pi had been in lust with ueda for agesssss and that ueda was getting prettier day by day and that he’ll be there for his mouse peace concert and that he had been peeping into his dressing room lately and jin had helped him take pictures of ueda in the kat-tun backstage area (because previously pi had playfully suggested hooking up with kame, and jin would do anything to keep pi off kame) plus he was thinking of planting some mini video cams somewhere he hadn’t really thought of where and it didn’t matter that he was cheating on toma because he knew toma had something secret for takizawa as well and so it was a mutual sort of uh, extramarital affair of sorts and and and…

OCHA UEDA UNLEASH! KABOOM!

a powerful surge ran through ueda’s body, and breaking free from yamapi’s powerful grip, ueda screamed his best OCHA CHA CHA and swiftly thwacked pi on the neck bruce lee style, ending with beautiful phoenix pose, and thereby subdued his enemy.

filthy idiot, thought ueda. and jin helped him. equally filthy. but just when ueda was satisfied that he had subdued pi, suddenly a new thought ran through his head.

did I like kill pi?

in his panic, ueda frantically flipped his phone open. “moshi moshi? tsubasa kun? help!! I’m in the carpark. I’m in deep shit,” ueda broke out of his sadism mode and began to panic. tsubasa promised to come down right away.

but tsubasa came down with takizawa. which was a bad idea.

“OH MY GOSH PIIIIIII!!!!!” screamed takizawa as he ran towards the lifeless body, fell to his knees dramatically and began to wail and sob uncontrollably. tsubasa knelt beside the poor wailing boy and tried to comfort him.

suddenly the wailing stopped.

takizawa had fainted.

“oh great,” tsubasa rolled his eyes. then he turned to ueda. “what did you do to pi?! he’s not dead, don’t worry…”

“THE IDIOT MOLESTED ME so I uh, apprehended him,” blurted ueda. “but I don’t know what to do with him like this and he’s definitely waaayyy too heavy, so I can’t carry him…”

“…and neither can I,” finished tsubasa. he was more interested in using his strength to bundle takizawa home than yamapi, really. suddenly they heard a familiar voice yelling for pi.

“CRAP IT’S TOMA,” tsubasa and ueda said simultaneously.

suddenly tsubasa spotted tsuyoshi’s van nearby. “quick, tsuyoshi’s car is never locked – both of us can try dumping pi inside there,” tsubasa suggested.

without a word, the two of them heaved the heavy pi and managed to throw him into the car and slam the door shut before toma came over. toma was distracted by takizawa lying defenceless on the floor anyway.

toma was all ready to get his hands on takizawa (literally), but tsubasa caught a glimpse of toma’s nakatsu-ish expression of fluttering hearts and pink print club photo frames, and resolutely gave one flying kick and off toma flew across the carpark.

“that’s what you get for trying to touch MY hide-kun,” declared tsubasa proudly.

“ano…tsubasa…did you kill toma now?” asked ueda shakily. he had never seen tsuba-violence before.

it made ueda excited to know that one of his favourite senpais had it in him, and that. was. amazing. ueda didn’t know whether to be afraid, awed or excited. probably all. ueda wanted to learn the tsuba flying kick – he swore it beat his best OCHA CHA CHA attempt.

ueda was still in his half state of worship when his words finally sunk into tsubasa.

“quick! into the car!” tsubasa and ueda immediately flung the much lighter toma into tsuyoshi’s van as well.

with all evidence cleared tsubasa and ueda heaved takizawa into tsubasa’s car, and tsubasa drove ueda home, since they were both so exhausted from carrying these heavy men in their panicky state. they both heaved a huge sigh of relief.

tsuyoshi ran towards his van. tokio, v6 and kinki kids were having their own rubbishy Christmas party at their usual private chalet, and tsuyoshi was late. very late in fact, because he had driven to the jimusho just to grab a few things and leave in like no more than 10 minutes, but there was something that had driven the juniors crazy and tsuyoshi took the next hour to get out of the jimusho, after stepping on no less than 5 juniors, getting grabbed by no less than 15 juniors, his shirt out of shape, lost a little hair, no idea where his cap had gone, saw a lot of things he shouldn’t have, heard many more things he should have either, and finally made it to the exit.

his mind was so bent on getting to the chalet on time before the rest of j-friends ate him for dinner instead since he was carrying all their food he didn’t notice he had extra baggage in the car. and it didn’t help that the extra baggage had been so powerfully knocked out, they didn’t make a single sound.

tsuyoshi finally reached the chalet. he flung the door open with a loud HAPPY NEW YEAAARRR! before telling junichi to help get the food and whatever stuff from the van because he seriously needed to pee. junichi noticed tsuyoshi looked like he went through a warzone, but didn’t ask. inohara jumped up and offered to help junichi unload the van, and the two toddled out.

after opening the door they didn’t know what to say. all junichi said was, “oh dear. inocchi did you notice that tsuyoshi’s clothes were in a similar mess to er, these two?”

that wasn’t good. all the light bulbs in inohara’s brain went off as he ran back into the chalet and before junichi could clamp his mouth inohara had already screamed through the chalet, “OMG TSUYOSHI KIDNAPPED YAMAPI AND TOMA THEY’RE INSIDE HIS VAN AND THEY LOOK LIKE THEY GOT RAPED” and the damage was done.

from one screaming man to the next.

nagase bellowed, “ THAT IS OUTRAGEOUS POOR DEAR KOICHIIIIII!!! KO-CHANNNN DID YOU FREAKING HEAR INOCCHI???!!!”

from one screaming man to the next.

an incredible indescribable blood curdling sound (if you could call it that) rang through the chalet.

koichi came out from the room dragging a completely clueless tsuyoshi by the shirt collar (or whatever that was left of it because it was seriously yanked badly out of shape) and practically kicked him down the stairs ala endless shock style.

fortunately for tsuyoshi he knew how to roll down the stairs properly thanks to koichi who gave him personal training and at the bottom of the staircase, he managed to pick himself up after a moment of trauma. “what on earth was that for!” demanded tsuyoshi.

“OMAE….still dare to ASK ME!!!”

nobody really wanted to help tsuyoshi. koichi seemed to have turned into sushi ouji and everyone there who had watched the drama, or heard the tales that were passed from nakamaru knew it was really better to keep out of this.

the next day, the tabloids were filled with reports on four Johnny boys in hospital.

junichi still blames inohara till today.

tsuyoshi never knew why he was kicked down the stairs, thrown out of the window, or how pi and toma landed in his van that fateful night.

koichi never knew he had so much strength.

pi and toma don’t remember anything. at all. they never understood why they were admitted to hospital, and didn’t understand why j-friends were ultra sympathetic to them thereafter.

takizawa was hypnotised by tsubasa to forget seeing pi’s lifeless body the night before.

tsubasa and ueda swore by fairies never to say anything about that night. ueda has henceforth

decided to keep that dangerous gas drug for junno and junno alone.

but now that ueda knows pi has something for him, it has been decided that junno will also be his guinea pig for his next drug designed to kill yamapi.

what a way to start the year.

 

 

 

 

1 heart | entrust

10 September 2008 @ 01:53 am

uepi01: dealing with the pain  

dealing with the pain

pairing: takitsuba, akame, tegoryo, tomapi, ohmiya (but honestly they’re all implied only)
genre: rubbishy
notes: there’s a pile of people in here, but mostly mentioned and they don’t appear. this is utter rubbish made from trying to force some logic out of things but obviously I have logic that isn’t very far off from ueda’s.
 

 

 

 

 

5 hearts | entrust

10 September 2008 @ 01:52 am

because I owe people.  

first I owe rin a HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

then I owe rin and rae their weirdo rubbishy uepi ideas. I wrote two, don't ask why, but there's nothing dirrrrty about either. really. I tried to be as crackish as I could but somehow I think still fail. but here they are anyway, terribly longwinded. the first one registers like 2000 words and the second one registers like 1400 or so.

I is a chong hei woman.

but anyway.

OMG LJ REJECTED MY POST BECAUSE IT IS TOO LARGE.

so I'll post over 2 entries then. sheesh.

kore ijou. because it is nearly 2am, and I only got back from the airport at like 12 plus. as to why we're happily sending jon off when he's returning in december we don't know and we don't care. we'll pretend he's off for his er, 5 years? as planned.

oyasumi~~

 

 

 

entrust

08 September 2008 @ 10:13 pm

名前も知らぬ  

anata no tame no kono inochi is stuck in my head for the moment. I go practice and see if I can manage it at karaoke. my goodness. singing gazette songs at karaoke is terrible. except stuff like guren and cassis because they're so much slower. and I know cassis pretty well. the amazing string of things ruki screamed in the middle of burial applicant was lost on me. if I'm not wrong they have ruder, but oh no no I can't sing that. the best I'll manage is like chuchuchuru chuchuchu ranran. hahaha

but it was fun at karaoke! although rae and I make a terrible pair at karaoke screaming gazette songs and trying out takitsuba songs. and I am still irritated that they are lacking many many many many takitsuba songs. *angsts* but then because no nore I didn't sing x~dame since there was nobody to dame with me. =(( and I had to sing happiness by myself. I was whining hashiridase by myself in my little weird corner of the room. oh and no acid black cherry. but rae and I were screaming drink it down. hahaha so fun. although I'm rather irritated that a lot of these je songs are within my speaking voice range, so I sound more like I'm shouting the song rather than singing.

then the whole bunch of us went for dinner. 8 people for dinner my gosh. I was stuck right in the middle of the table, so on one side was generally johnny overload, and the other side was a little more mixed up.

AND NORE BOUGHT THE KOGEPAN BOOK. squahhhhhhh she bought the kogepan and friends go to hanami book!! super cute. it has all the pans that we found on weichun's file. =)) and actually while walking through isetan yesterday I was tempted to buy the melon pans too. they didn't have the power choc bun that xiaowei bought the other time, but then they had two large trays of melon pans and they were shouting "eat me eat me" but I didn't buy them in the end.

yawn. I'm rather tired today. plooey. and melissa has joined me in dai senpai jyannizu rabu! although she's only enthralled by shounentai but hey hey that's enough. I swear higashi has AURA. hahahaha I'm officially on half crack today, because I'm tired and brain totally dead already.

so while I'm on crack, it means it's time to write crack. rin happily reminded me that I owe her and rae a crack story. like ORH. OH must remember to bring tongari corn tomorrow. it's a lifesaver, tongari corn. isetan restocked the whole shelf FULL of the salted one. perhaps one day when they bring the barbequed one back in I should try. but I'm really interested in the tuna mayo one. like how do they do that?! tuna mayo tongari corn. hmmm.

crack time. I hope it turns out alright. I'm not very good at this.

 

 

 

4 hearts | entrust

07 September 2008 @ 12:39 am

anomalies.  

we finally managed to do our 3223 assignment together. but what a mess it was. basically nore and I went out with uncle yaozong, auntie chen guo and their son/daughter (I don't really know which one) weiye. we ran through like half of chinatown and I was so tired at the end of it. and then later we went to the national museum and it was a bigger joke. I think chen guo should just go into standup comedy. singaporean standup comedy. and you know, chen guo and weiye are like the louder versions of kevin -- they're jukeboxes. poopoo if you thought kevin is a hen na ojisan, trust me these boys are worse.

then it was dinner with buddy. before she goes back. and I think she was all ready to defenestrate me after I presented dummy guide after dummy guide, and idiot's guide after idiot's guide. and I was laughing at a random kansai ben book. it was teaching the reader all about kinki. yay.

and chen guo's ideas about defenestration make a good drabble.

tsubasa: this is the 5th day of practice, and our 10th time trying. hide-kun can you PLEASE just get the dance steps right?
takki: but but but it's really hard and I'm not as talented as you~~ *tries an innocent look*
tsubasa: *ignores innocent look* hideaki, do you know why this studio has windows?
takki: *confused look* why?
tsubasa: so that if you screw up one more time, I'm freaking throwing you out of the window.
takki *gasp in mock horror and collapses to the floor in fear*

HAHA. it's getting late and I'm beginning to amuse myself. I shall just post this entry as is. so lazy to type anymore. my feet are totally about to break. totally. gah maou08 is almost done! and maou09 has been released! I'm half glad that the show's moving on well and about to finish (and then we'll see if they ever apprehend ohno) but then after that there'll be no more hopping about and random maou howling. but good also. it's time to uh, cut down my video viewing. like how right.

 

 

 

2 hearts | entrust

06 September 2008 @ 12:13 am

such a sucker.  

as much as I'm a sucker for all things nama and chuka, I'm such a squealing fangirl when it comes to 4 takitsuba performances.

1. yume monogatari
I have so so so many performances. I don't think I have them all still, but even so there are SO MANY. and even though I kinda dislike the music fair one because they sing terribly, tsubasa looks like he didn't want to go on the show and it was filmed during ugly tsubasa period, I still keep it. I collect things like this. =)

2. do me crazy
with the acquiring of hatachi con I have yet another performance of it. I was trying not to squeal! on the bus. never watch a concert on the bus. not when you're a fangirl. and because I forgot to find the tracklisting, I had no idea it was coming. although the dance for do me crazy has changed over the years, trust me. it gets BETTER.

3. diamond
I like this song terribly much. so terribly much. and my personal opinion is that it's their best dance. I still don't know how they do that leg bending stunt. it doesn't matter. I thought the harucon editing of the song was pretty nice. that slightly slow-mo monochrome effect. nice. I have a special preference for the best tour version, but they're all lovely. simply lovely.

4. real dx
yay junior song! the dance has NOT changed. and it's still so cool. the song is oddly atypical of my type, but I like it much. as for exactly what real dx (pronounced as real deluxe) means, I have negative idea man. but I love each and every performance of it, and I jump at all performances of it. plus I think I know all the parts of the song, and the lyrics are slowly going in. slowly. hahaha

beyond takitsuba. I haven't talked about them like this in a while though. but anyway today went with nore to help interview the japanese students. we nearly DIED. since we didn't video them, but we didn't want to end up having to transcribe without knowing who was talking, I helped to take down who talked when, and tried to help translate a bit while we were at it. but oh gosh I suck. I concentrated so hard on typing and listening but honestly I was like huh and totally lost at some of their comments. bleagh. as nore said, 1 hour listening comprehension. trying to comprehend people who talk in half plain form, and mumble, and speak so fast. should have told them in advance to speak slower. but I swear they panicked when we suggested english answers. wah immediately all the english-japanese electronic dictionaries came out. should have borrowed sister's. I have one too! hahaha

and I finally figured out what was wrong with my lappie and the school network. or any network besides my own house's network for that matter. I'd forgotten I'd made my lappie use a manual ip address and then it refused to connect to anything else besides my own network because it's configured to match my own router. so it should work now. if not I'm going down to it co-op and bang somebody's table.

I should go to bed soon. but I'm staring at the ficathon prompts again. maybe I should just take them all down in some notepad file so I don't have to worry my cache about opening it again and again.

bah to bed to bed.

P.S. was reading my f-list one last time before going to bed, and spikiegirl says the je boys writing messages to their fans to quit stalking them is fake. so now what? or rather, so what now? 

 

 

 

1 heart | entrust

04 September 2008 @ 11:22 pm

here we go again.  

Title: Five Times Tsubasa Cried
Pairing: Tackey x Tsubasa
Rating: G (the rest is your own imagination)
Summary: tsubasa cries so much and it's all takizawa's fault. seriously.
Notes: uh this is for lovespiral and her ficathon. sorry this took like the next 5 years to complete!

five times tsubasa cried

“tadaima.”

“you’re finally home,” smiled tsubasa, as takizawa tiredly pulled his shoes off and threw the socks on the floor. takizawa had gone for a dinner with the members of no border, and while he had promised tsubasa not to drink too much, he had obviously drunk quite a bit, and wasn’t walking too straight. it was amazing how takizawa always managed to find his way to tsubasa’s house even in a half drunken state.

tsubasa was in an awful state – but takizawa didn’t realise it.

tsubasa was terribly stressed – but takizawa didn’t seem to notice.

tsubasa needed somebody to talk to, to make him laugh, to make him forget some of his worries – but it seemed as if takizawa hadn’t picked up a single hint, even though it was written all over his face.

that was the real reason why tsubasa didn’t want takizawa to drink so much. looking at the futon, takizawa had already crashed out. somehow looking at takizawa sleep peacefully, with a little dribble down the side of his lips made tsubasa smile.

but with that smile, his eyes wrinkled a little, and a tear came rolling down of its own accord.

the next day, tsubasa was still sitting in a pile of papers with all his costumes drawn on some, programme outlines on others, and some more others that looked more like scribbles and scrawls of frustration than anything else while the staff were eating lunch.

“and you’re not going to eat lunch?”

tsubasa turned to find himself face to face with an open lunch box, and looked up to find tsuyoshi. tsuyoshi pushed the lunch box a little forward. tsubasa took it, but didn’t start eating. instead he hung his head. tsuyoshi raised a concerned eyebrow, and decided to just sit down and talk to his poor kohai.

“the staff told me you haven’t really been eating properly. that’s not the tsubasa I know. and if you don’t eat enough, you’re not going to make it for your own solo concert, alright?”

tsubasa fiddled with his fingers and didn’t respond.

“tsk. takizawa-san hasn’t been taking care of somebody, eh?” tsuyoshi probed. tsubasa lifted his head slightly, but then said, “no that’s not it,” and hung his head once more.

“it IS it. you’re wondering why takizawa seems so busy despite not being officially busy, and perhaps wondering why he does stay over at your place but he doesn’t seem to notice how distressed you’ve been over this concert. right?”

there was still no response. instead the lunch box was getting wet.

tsuyoshi sighed. “tsubasa-kun, tsubasa-kun. ganbarinasai, ne. you’ll be fine.”

tsubasa finally looked up. “arigatou,” was all tsubasa choked out.

tsuyoshi smiled. “we probably can’t replace hideaki’s presence in your life, but remember there’s a whole lot of us who care about you okay? that us includes everyone at endless shock, and all these staff here and perhaps more.”

tsubasa managed a little smile and nodded.

“good boy. now eat and stop crying. your food is probably more salty than it ought to be.”

tsubasa couldn’t help but laugh a little at that.

a week later, tsubasa was still feeling unsettled. I shall cook, he thought to himself. perhaps that way he might feel more settled, feel more stable, feel more assured. perhaps he might have some inspiration. perhaps perhaps, and off tsubasa went into the kitchen.

he stopped at the doorway however, then turned back to grab his handphone and sent a little message. he hopped about for about half an hour before a reply finally came back.

“tsubasa cooking new pasta? I won’t miss that for my life is worth. love, hide-kun.”

tsubasa hopped into the kitchen. hop hop hop. chop chop chop. halfway through, the door suddenly opened with a loud TADAIMA. tsubasa hopped out of the kitchen to return the greeting.

“so what pasta are you cooking?” takizawa sniffed the air. “I don’t smell anything,” takizawa pouted as tsubasa laughed. then his eyes widened a little as he stared really really really hard at tsubasa and exclaimed, “and who bullied you! the spaghetti or the sauce? why have you been crying!”

tsubasa laughed, but played along. he wailed in fake protest and whined, “hide-kun~~~the onions bullied me...they made me cry so hard...all I wanted to do was to make nice pasta for hide-kun...”

takizawa dramatically put on his best mafia boss look and said, “OUTRAGEOUS! bring me to the onions! I’ll chop them ALL TO BITS!” as he sauntered threateningly into the kitchen.

to which tsubasa innocently replied, “but hide-kun, I’ve chopped them all up already...”

takizawa turned around and wailed, “EHHHHH I’m supposed to be the hero who chops up the insolent onions who dared to make MY tsubasa cry! you were supposed to at least leave some onions for me to chop up! they’re all boiling inside the pot! WHY!”

tsubasa couldn’t stop laughing. and after just like 5 seconds after takizawa had proclaimed his rights to be a onion chopping hero, he too, burst out laughing.

in fact, they both laughed so hard, tears came rolling down.

alas happiness is often shortlived. the next day tsubasa went back to his mountain of troubles. he simply couldn’t plan his concert programme straight. after consulting staff after staff, he couldn’t find the right balance. he wanted to do something that his audience would enjoy, but he didn’t want to lose himself either. but he didn’t want to just do something he fancied and leave the audience half lost.

suddenly a staff came running to him with his handphone. the display showed higashiyama-sama. tsubasa blinked a while before thanking the staff and flipping the phone open.

“moshi moshi. tsubasa desu.”

“un. higashiyama here. I heard you’re doing a tour now, and you’re probably worried about how to go about doing it.”

tsubasa responded with a simple “un”.

“but I thought I just wanted to tell you that it’s your own solo concert after all, so just do the tour that you want. don’t worry so much about what everyone thinks. if you enjoy yourself, your audience enjoys the show too. wakaru?”

tsubasa sniffled a little, and said, “arigatou. thank you so much.”

somehow tsubasa could hear a smile from higashiyama. and he was pretty sure higashiyama could hear a smile from him too.

the concert things were more or less settled after a few weeks of more planning, more scribbling, more dance practices, more crazy schedules. tsubasa was feeling better from the decreased burden, but there was still something dangling at the back of his mind.

after a while he figured it was probably because takizawa had run goodness knows where for the past week and hadn’t told him. he replied mail, but avoided all questions posed. it was really weird, considering it was usually tsubasa who did this to takizawa, and not the other way round. but then tsubasa didn’t really have time to go hunt down takizawa and so left this nagging at the back of his mind. besides with ho! summer’s release they’d be stuck together quite a bit anyway.

but it was really terrible having to run the solo concert and promote ho! summer at the same time. the schedule went bonkers and tsubasa had begun dancing in his dreams (which unfortunately resulted in whacking takizawa whenever he came over to stay).

just a little over a week into the concert tour, tsubasa came bouncing home. his most respected senpai higashiyama had actually come watch his concert, and even went onstage and danced along! it was more than a dream come true.

tsubasa was still skipping along but stopped when he saw a familiar figure standing near his apartment door, and was about to pounce on takizawa when he realised his aikata-kun was on the phone.

“so he really appeared? yokatta ne...I didn’t know whether he had the time or not, but I asked anyway. it’s good to know...hai nani? eh? tsubasa cried? aw...man that’s fabulous. haha yes yes hai... thank you so much. un...un...ja ganbatte for the rest of the tour with tsubasa!”

takizawa hung up and turned around to face a gaping tsubasa. takizawa jumped in slightly delayed fright and said, “um, uh AH tsubasa! you’re home! today’s concert went well? you must be...”

before takizawa could finish his sentence tsubasa had already thrown his arms around him and given him one bear of a hug.

“uh tsubasa? ne, tsuba-kun? I think something’s dripping from the rooftop...oh wait crap tsubasa ARE YOU CRYING?!” takizawa turned rapidly into this panicky state as he pulled the taller (but smaller) man off him and blinked at his crying partner.

but then tsubasa refused to say anything and hugged takizawa again.

finally the tour was over, ho! summer’s promotion was more or less done, and they were all left with just the album to go and the year was thereabout done too.

the entertainment world never stops, thought tsubasa as he entered the main building. but at least I have a job that I like, tsubasa continued to think as he made his way up to the usual studio. he opened the door of the studio, and suddenly,

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!”

the whole studio burst into birthday song as he dumbfoundedly walked into the studio. he was half dragged into the studio really, because his legs just got stuck. an excited takizawa immediately grabbed his hands and sat him down on a couch in front of a monitor. “gosh you’re finally here! YOSSHA everybody let’s start the video rolling!”

tsubasa was about to ask ‘what video’ when the monitor came to life. takizawa was standing alongside the staff, grinning like a silly idiot, hoping that tsubasa would also grin like a silly idiot after watching the video, since tsubasa had been oh so tired and deserved a good smile.

but it was not to be.

the terribly nonsensical ho! summer PV spoof ended, and tsubasa’s mother’s face came on screen, and midway through the message, tsubasa had cupped his mouth and began to cry increasingly uncontrollably.

takizawa went kaput and started mobilising the entire staff to get out all the tissue they could find and more. after gathering all the tissue, he offered the entire mountain of white pieces to his sobbing aikata-kun as earnestly as he could, because this was totally unforeseen.

the video ended, tsubasa took some of the mountain of white pieces and managed to clean up his tear stained face, but it took another 3 minutes or so to finally find his voice.

“so you mean you freaking disappeared without telling me exactly where you’ve gone to do this? and you’ve not been to my house for nearly another week just this past week because you’ve gone to edit the video? right?” demanded tsubasa as another tear fell.

“oh don’t cry like that! am I supposed to tell you right or not right? which will make you cry less?” takizawa continued to panic. but suddenly tsubasa began to laugh a little, because Takki Panic was just so terribly amusing.

takizawa’s eyes widened in confusion, then narrowed in understanding . he suddenly stood up and began a little tantrum. “you sadistic aikata-kun! hai, I took the week to run away to saipan once more to do that PV once more, and then I paid your mum a visit. travelling about japan takes so much time mumble mumble mumble,” takizawa grumbled, mumbling on about how tsubasa wasn’t supposed to cry so hard at the video and was totally not supposed to laugh at his panicky state because he had put in all the effort and that it wasn’t fair that only tsubasa could have an outburst because while he was away he missed tsubasa too and and and he didn’t want to continue.

because the more he said, the more tsubasa laughed. the horrible boy.

“AND YOU ARE STILL LAUGHING AT ME!” stomped takizawa.

“you mean you prefer me to cry?”

that took a little while to process inside takizawa’s brain. a little smile began to spread across takizawa’s face, when he suddenly realised that it was true he meant to make tsubasa smile, meant to make tsubasa laugh, that every single time tsubasa had cried he had known, he had certainly known, but he hadn’t known what to do, and was so anxious to put that smile back on tsuba-kun’s face.

“sou...da ne...” grinned takizawa, in this little slightly retarded fashion.

meanwhile, the staff had helped tsubasa heat up some pasta that tsubasa had specially made for takizawa, because tsubasa had woken up early and just felt like cooking something.

takizawa immediately took the bowl without thinking and happily ate up like a quarter of the bowl at one shot. that was a terrible mistake. tears began rolling down poor takizawa’s face this time as he wailed,

“TSUBASA the sauce is so SPICY!!!” tsubasa couldn’t hide his laughter anymore.

“OMAE!!!!!” squealed takizawa as he put the bowl right down on the table. “uh oh,” said tsubasa and figured that it was safer to run from takizawa. like NOW.

“I’m going to get youuuuuuuuu!”

tsubasa made a run for the door.

-------終-------

*tsubasa said on domoto kyodai (2007) that tsuyoshi had told him “ganbarinasai” when he was feeling really down and that helped him a lot.

**tsubasa said on shounen club premium (2006) that higashiyama had mysteriously known that tsubasa was feeling stressed over his upcoming solo concert and had called him, expressing knowledge of his tour and to do a tour that tsubasa wanted, and that gave him strength too.

***mezamashi (2006) ran coverage of higashiyama appearing at tsubasa’s style ’06 concert.

****takitsuba shared on domoto kyodai (2007) about that birthday video that takizawa made.

I initially started with some crack-ish ideals but then they gave way to emo ideas and thus we get this. I think it didn't turn out all too bad really. came out rather fast. I'll try to pick a more uh, happy title next time okay? I should try my hand at writing happier stories, writing happier melodies, writing happier lyrics. I'm so depressive. nore would probably recommend me more arashi videos but then I still want my brain.

went for power dinner with a whole bunch from church. fun certainly, but the music was really too loud. it didn't help that I was out since 6 something in the morning without much sleep, plus a really grouchy sister (because I swear she's falling sick). heh.

I should sleep soon too myself. before I fall sick too.

 

 

 

5 hearts | entrust

03 September 2008 @ 11:18 pm

this is the rain that never stops.  

every single day. I actually think I've gotten half used to it. although I'm stll wondering why on earth is it pouring like this in august, and not december. although I think in december it really sucks to go for an exam in the rain, because the only sheltered way into src is from yih, and it's a long and freaking flooded path into src.

I'm hungry.

wednesdays are such screwed up mealtimes. but then the day is somehow so long and tiring that neither of us exactly wants to go out after tb to eat. previously I didn't have class before 6pm so I didn't really mind. but now I have proper classes before 6pm and it's so tiring suddenly. but not so bad this time I suppose. I remember I entered 2220 at 6pm last time and I was either a zombie, or a crazy woman laughing at nothing.

after tb nore and I were laughing at dumb things as well anyway. never end school at 8pm. laughing at shapes. sheesh. in fact I think at 6-8pm, all our brains are slightly burnt and fried and gone. including horie sensei. so tired.

shall watch glass skin! pv, type up a bit of stuff and then go sleep. 8am again tomorrow, and I shall attempt not being late. I'm always late. not very late but still. but at least I don't end up on the floor anymore. I used to end up on the floor for 8am classes. now you're beginning to wonder how many 8am classes I've had, right? hahaha

there are days I wonder what will happen if I don't have lj. I'm sorry that was terribly random. but I assume I'd have gone right back into writing my diaries. I used to sincerely believe that my thoughts were secret, private, that it was only right that nobody touches or reads my diary sort of thing. but then later I found that I don't write very secretive things anyway. and the funniest part is that when I just need to let thought floods out, they flood out without context whatsoever. I was looking through my archive the other day to dig the picspam out for rae and I found a bunch of contextless paragraphs and I can't remember for the life of me what the heck made me so emo, and I have very little idea what I was talking about. it was like a whole bunch of meaningless words. a whole pointless paragraph.

心は傷ついて癒せずに

 

 

 

entrust

01 September 2008 @ 11:35 pm

since the world is sick of je.  

for rae: I had a mini picspam here nearly a year ago, you might want to peek at it. scroll down to october 15th. bah it's the only entry with powerful amounts of pictures.

real life 01: the burnt thumbdrive

we were supposed to do a presentation for 3223, and so poor yaozong had to present again. nore we freaking owe yaozong a good meal man. the presentation was in yz's thumbdrive, and his thumbdrive was a little spoilt. it looked like somebody had knocked into the thumbdrive before and bent it slightly. the thing was, halfway through the presentation, weiye knocked into the thumbdrive since it was sticking out of the cpu, and I swear he freaking broke it. so he unplugged it from the comp and then realised something.

the thumbdrive had a BURNING SMELL.

three of us just broke down there at the computer and burst out laughing. please be reminded that poor yaozong was still presenting our slides, and it was his thumbdrive. but it was so hilarious. later we explained the situation to the tutor and she was just shocked. like HAR?!?! the funniest part was when yaozong said

because I'm sumipan.

AHAHAHAHA. yes yaozong you're sumipan so EVERYTHING turns into sumi with you. but thankfully there was nothing else but our presentation stuff inside the thumbdrive. and all those are backed up anyway. so it wasn't too bad. it was just too bad for his thumbdrive. poor kid.

real life 02: the vocab quiz strikes back and more

random fact first: my dad suddenly came in to tell me that the pm of japan just announced his resignation. like huh? another one gone? man. then dad asked me what number pm he was, and I'm like huh no clue man. me and politics no go.

vocab quiz. since the previous two were unbelievably simple (or at least there were no tricks involved), today's finally struck a chord. like AHA this is the correct sort of standard we were expecting. but poor naoto and keigo boy were still stuck with their vocab quizzes, totally unwilling to hand them in. then even after handing them up, they immediately turned to the vocab list and began to flip like two crazy idiots. poor things. but this is something we all get used to. we were telling jiaxiang all about these poor placement test people who have to get used to laj's style of killing people. a pity he isn't taking laj4 with us -- he's a strange source of entertainment. when I first knew him in laj2, I thought he was one real weirdo. but actually he isn't. although I think nore is more amazed at his power talk on dslr cameras at 8 in the morning.

then later it got really funny, because osoudo sensei decided to have this exercise where she wants to go climb mount fuji, and asked us what we should bring. I think it was zhongyue who suggested bringing a map, a chizu. however, sensei became thoroughly puzzled and asked if it were normal to bring something like that, and it was the first time she'd heard of people bringing this.

then nore and naoto realised: sensei heard chizu as chiizu, which is CHEESE.

we simply burst out laughing. MAN. map become cheese. duh nobody's going to bring cheese to climb a mountain. rest assured. we prefer maps thanks.

real life 03: dinner with the chalet girls

I realised that about all 5 of us: we were the ones who stayed overnight at nore's party. even though rin and mingboon slept upstairs, nat snored on the sofa while nore and I slept on the floor, we were the 5 kids who stayed the first night, watched rubbish gyakukaiten, talked deep over lunch and ate up most of the leftover food the next day. yays. we should do this again. hahahaha

well the thing about us 5 is that most of whatever that comes out of us revolves around je, and the bulk of it slants to kat-tun, and slants rather hard to akame. but we're a noisy bunch of kids who love tampopo to pieces and spend too much time strolling about liang court and spend too much money on japanese food and squeal too much over boyband material.

real life 04: maou

sister and I finished 2 more episodes of maou. partly because 7 is finally finishing, and 8 has barely started. and while the storyline has more and more new info, there's still so much unexplained. that's what keeps us going on this crazy drama. but then I was listening to matchy-san's midnight shuffle and thought -- oh my. this is a maou song!

taken from goro_chan (who rocks, by the way):

Midnight Shuffle - Kondou Masahiko (Matchy)
rather than trying to live strongly
In order to truly become strong
On the edge of the rooftop
I let my wounded feathers tremble
I look up at the cool night sky

I drown in the thrill of frauds
I run into the intense knife blade
What is reality?
Where is the truth?
The blue sky seems further away the more I worry

A devilish smile like an angel
It is overwhelming this town
It seems like it could be broken, it seems it could be lost
But it will definitely go out and find
A true heart

If under the weight of the dream you carry
Your arms are becoming a little tired
It will be alright
Because I will support you
Don’t falter, just believe in that dream

A devilish voice like an angel
I can hear it in my chest
I haven’t sinned yet I am suffering
That heart is painfully
Continuing to call me…

I like the takahashi hitomi version. she's only 19, but she's got a rather strong and clear voice. nothing special, but it's good enough. it beats matchy's voice, at the very least. question's version is slightly questionable. pun unintended. although after a while this song sounds suspiciously anime-ish. but nooo it was the theme song for ginrou kaiki file, which has a storyline that sounds somehow lame, but then it has koichi in it so I shall shut up.

it is SO LATE. 8am tomorrow. print notes and go sleep. guh.

 

 

 

4 hearts | entrust